So, some information first to paint the picture...
I met my friends fiance 9 years ago, my friend invited him along to a night out and since then he just sort of became one of the 'gang' and started coming out every time we were all out for dinner/drinks etc. We all went to a party one night and my friend, who I knew from school but not that well, as we didn't talk at school, was there, they hit it off instantly and became a couple and have been going out now for 8 years. I now consider her to be one of my best friends and she was even a bridesmaid at my wedding. However, since becoming a couple, my friends fiance slowly stopped coming out, she would only just come herself, which never bothered me, but I've become incredibly concerned about him recently.
My friend told me that he openly told her that he was thinking about suicide one night as he felt really stressed but didn't obviously go through with it as he loved her too much. Ever since hearing that, I cant stop thinking about him and keep seeing little things as cries of help and dont know what to do. We all had a couples night a few weeks ago and we were all so excited at the prospect of seeing my friends fiance as we haven't seen him since my wedding (nearly two years ago) but she turned up alone and said he was on his way, 20 minutes later he texted to say he wasn't coming and asked her to apologise to everyone, she then called him to see if he was okay and he was crying on the phone apologising. My friend said that she couldn't force him to come out and that he has been busy at work recently. Maybe I am speaking out of turn but I really didn't think that was normal, obviously he had some sort of anxiety about coming out and I keep thinking about him. She also met me for lunch last week and was asking if I had life insurance, a will etc. I asked her why she was asking and she said Craig (for the sake of mumsnet) has written a will to ensure she is taken care of should anything happen... they are both 27 and I am worried that something may happen.
I've been speaking to my husband about my concerns, he then said he would ask Craig if he wanted to come round and play xbox one night, just they two and to my surprise, he did! I popped out that evening so they could chat etc. and when I returned, my husband told me that Craig was saying that he has been depressed and feeling very stressed about everything (moving house, getting married this year etc.). Anyway, we all meet up as couples like every 6 months - he never comes as she says he 'cant be bothered', it was their turn to host the Christmas movie night in December (a silly tradition we have) but they didn't because she said he 'couldn't be bothered', anytime we chat about seeing him she always jokes that he has become a hermit and cant be bothered going out. She has often told me that she sits alone most nights as he just plays his computer games. However, she never takes him anywhere, whenever she talks about going to the movies or dinner with him she always says, oh yeah craig can take me or I'll suggest that to craig he can treat me to that, I know she isnt meaning this as a joke because I have heard her say this to him and she told me that her family like him at times because he treats her (strange thing I thought to say!!). They also go on holiday with his family every year, never alone, again, I find that strange too and she told me last week that his mum goes to their house to pack for him, she was taken aback when I said I find that strange and I would not allow it. His mum and dad are heavily involved in their finances too, go to the bank with them, sitting in mortgage meetings etc. again, she was taken aback when I said that I would find that helpful but slightly overpowering.
As he was my friend before she was, I was thinking, would it look bad to her, if we asked him out to dinner or lunch without her? We want to just talk to him and check that he is okay, I feel that my friend doesnt really take him seriously and he is crying out for help and no one is really listening or takes him seriously. I would text him but when I have in the past, she texts back on his behalf, I would call him but they are always together and I cant just pop up to their house as she would be there. He also doesnt use social media so I cant really reach out to just him without her seeing. that's why I thought speaking to her and just saying that we were thinking of asking Craig for a catch up, just him.
My question is, what else can I do? Is it unreasonable for me to want to see him without her? My husband sees no issue in this and thinks that the night at our house without her done him some good.
Its so complicated because she has become a close friend and my contact is all with her now not him. I dont want he to think it is strange but I also cannot ignore this anymore. Sorry for the long message, with what has happened to Caroline Flack, I have been thinking about him more than ever and I'm terrified that he could do something. Given her reaction when I have said something is strange etc. I dont want to say to her that I think he is depressed as she may take it the wrong way and think of it as a criticism.
Help please!