Going for massage/nails/hair etc... when off sick?

[FlipItty]

AIBU to think I'm not unreasonable?

I've been off work recently due to a serious bout of depression following a traumatic event involving pregnancy loss. I've been put on anti depressants and my Dr told me to start doing some things for me, to get out of the house etc...

I've booked a bit of a pamper day today, massage, nails, hair etc... for myself.

The salon is right near my work though (literally across the road but it's a tiny village so there isn't much choice and I don't feel able to go too far from home yet, it's my safe place at the moment and I very rarely leave it).

AIBU? I'm scared about work seeing me but then at the same time this is what's been recommended to me by my doctor (not specifically but this is what I felt able to do) and I'm not physically ill.

Massage is great for anxiety and depression imo. I suffer with depression (not so much anxiety, got better from that!) And I consider massage part of my maintenance programme to keep me well. In a way, you'd be neglecting you health not to go....

Absolutely go. You're signed off with depression, not flu. I'm very lucky in that I work for a tiny company who are very understanding of my issues so wouldn't bat an eyelid if I wasn't well enough to be in work but was seen out and about in the village, but I understand your worries. I agree that this is absolutely the kind of thing your Dr meant and it will do you the world of good. Enjoy!

Go and enjoy it. You don't need to explain yourself to your employer. I had a long period off with work induced stress last year and the occupational health nurse told me to get out and do things. Look after yourself

Sorry for your loss you should absolutely go and try to relax and enjoy your day.

I felt the same when I was off work following pregnancy loss, I met a friend for lunch and to go to a gallery and worried that someone from work might see me. But taking time for yourself is very different to being able to go to work.

I walked into my manager in a shopping centre whilst off sick after surgery. She said well done for getting myself out of the house 😂 my specialist nurse recommended 12wks off work with my job though... walking about was building my stamina back up... I was still getting stitches whilst walking though 😬

If it was flu, but unreasonable. But it’s depression, you should be getting out of the house as much as possible. When I had depression, running really helped distract me - I guess seeing somebody who is “off sick” jogging round the park doesn’t look great either, but I really was not mentally up to doing full-time work.

I’m off with pneumonia right now, and I have just been out for a coffee to get myself out of the house/get some fresh air. There is a massive difference between being able to walk round the corner for a coffee, and being able to do a twelve hour shift at work.

I was pretty much unable to get out of bed for 2 weeks after my 4th loss but on the days I felt able to I did go round to my Best Friend's for a coffee, chat and cuddle. She's also my work colleague but was there with me at the hospital when I was told my Baby had died. I also popped into the office at work just to keep them updated

It's not something I'd feel comfortable with, but I wish you well

Sorry for your loss, enjoy your pampering. I did the same was off on compassionate leave for loss of Dad and 2 babies throughout the year I attended spa and hair dressers. Take care xx

You aren't being unreasonable. However recently a work colleague of mine was off for several months with stress and she was seen out shopping by another member of staff who then bitched about it relentlessly, so people aren't always understanding about this kind of thing.

I second the suggestion of going to a salon further afield.

Yanbu, a pampering day will help with your well-being and aid your recovery. Sitting at home moping is the worst thing you could do and your doctor's advised you to get out and about.
If you have any staying in touch days with your manager i'd mention it to them to avoid any misinterpretation but I wouldn't go out of my way to tell them.
Its unfortunate that the salon is so close to work as I think some may fail to understand, particularly if they don't know why you are off. But you have a doctor's note and you are following their advice so enjoy yourself, after what you've been through you deserve it so don't feel guilty. I hope you feel stronger soon.