I have been with my husband since we were 18. Got married after 10years together and have got two great boys, aged 10 and 14. Communication has never been easy as he doesn’t like to talk about feelings and problems. If we ever have a row, he will be happy to stop talking to me weeks on end, rather than talk about what caused the issue and over the years I have ended up apologising for arguments that are not even my fault to diffuse the tension. He has not had a good childhood either and his parents have lied and hidden things from him which has affected him.
Anyway he went away with his friends three months ago. One of his friends is having an affair with a girl abroad and she bought a group of friends to a club they were at and my husband got friendly with her. I found this out while he was drunk and talking loudly to his friends while I was upstairs.
He is in constant contact with her by phone and has said that talking to someone who doesn’t know him takes him away from the issues he has in his head. She’s abroad and he thinks I’m unreasonable to think he can’t have a female friend. He says there’s nothing going on but I do think it’s natural to become connected to someone without having sex with them. Anyway I have tried to get our marriage back on track, but feel he has made no effort at all. I told him yesterday that I’m going to be moving out on the weekend to give us some space to decide if we want to make it work or walk away. We live in a six bedroom home with my in laws and I will be moving to my mums sofa, so for now I have said I will leave my boys here as this is going to cause them a lot of stress to live out of a suitcase. I will not be moving far and will continue to pick then up from school and bring them back here, but just won’t be here when my husband is around. He’s saying I should stay here as a friend and move into the spare bedroom. I don’t want him to have his cake and eat it. Am I wrong or is he? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.