DH/DSS & 'big birthday' holiday

[Shelovedtobehome]

Been step mum very long time to a young teen. Relationship is pretty good, standard step relationship I would say. But his mum can be obstructive, controls access pattern and has never allowed DSS on holiday with us abroad/long haul. Local yes but never more than a week.
I have to fly long haul for a wedding in winter, we had planned on the three of us going. (Never discussed with DSS) But price is ridiculous. $10k just on flights for a break that won't be a holiday.
So DH and I have decided I'll just go.
I would like to go away for my 'big birthday' in spring - just me and DH. (Thailand/Bali) Unfortunately we have been unable to have DC. But still holding out hope. But due to this I'd like it to be a trip for me and DH, still suffered the fall out from failed IVF etc
DH wants to bring DSS, because he is missing out on 'the big trip'
My suggestion is DH takes DSS for a cheap/cheerful boys holiday while I'm away. Then him and I go in spring?
AIBU?

It's more DSS 'changes his mind' more frequently with trips where I am involved. Not so much with a boys trip. Or she'll deem our destination too far/too dangerous etc

@timeisnotaline that's not really an option at this stage.

Your plan sounds great OP and a win win for all.

I think it sounds good. I get where DH is coming from, wanting DSS to have a 'tropical' holiday but I think the reality is somewhat boring !

You seem sure your plan is reasonable. So talk to DH and just say so.

I don't think YABU. There's nothing wrong with wanting an adults only trip and your DSS will still get a holiday with his dad.

I think given it's your big birthday plus you want to chill after IVF that you and OH should definitely go alone.

Kids don't need to be a part of everything a couple does, even in a bio family.