Stopping son going to football

[TaraW20]

Hi everyone,
Really looking for opinions on what people would do in this situation.

My sons football team have went from having 3 teams playing at weekends down to 2. My sons team has been split between the 2 teams.
He was the goalie on his team but now isn't getting a chance to play due to the other teams already having goalies.
My issue is the other players that had to split to make the teams bigger are all still getting a chance to play at weekends. My son is the only one not invited and is even being left out at training. This is really upsetting him and it is making me so angry. I feel he should be getting an opportunity and treated the same as the other children. Problem is as well is that the coaches all have sons in the team and choose their children's pals and own children over other children. It is so unfair.
The issue is my son doesn't want to give it up due spending time with his pals etc but he is so upset at this. We have been told by the coaches that he will only get a chance if the other goalies cant make it but other than that he wont be invited to anything.

We as parents want to stop him from going but he insists on keep going but comes out upset every week and his interest in football is disappearing now as he wont even go out and play football as he doesn't see the point now.

What would you do?

Can you not find another team/football club for him to join. Sell it as this one isn’t giving him chances to play/learn/improve.
How old is ds?

It is the issue with being the goalie, at all levels of the game. Defenders, midfielders, forwards can all slot in and out in different combinations, but the goalie is a unique position in the team with unique skills - it works both ways. Yes, it is difficult to get in the team if there is an established goalie but you never get subbed off once you are in.
The rest of the defence need to know how the keeper plays and what they are going to be doing in a situation - it isn't so easy as 'taking turns'.

All that said, it does depend what age group, and level you are talking about...... if they are 6 yrs old it is a different scenario from if they are 14.

About 6 years ago my son was pretty much a permanent sub for his football team, just getting a token 5 or 10 minutes match time once the result was in the bag. There was such a competitive win at all cost mentality.

He then switched to rugby - such a different mentality. Game results not so important (most junior games are friendlies) so everyone gets fair game time. Player development and fun are the aims rather than winning a league.

The atmosphere in the club is great too. I've found it to be much more social.

As pp said it depends on his age, good goalies are always in demand, but as his team already have 2 goalies who can cover for each other I'd check to see if any other teams in the league are looking for a goalie.

Thanks all for replies

Sorry I should of said he is 8.

They do at this age sub all players on and off and can do this as many times they want during a game with all players.

There aren't any other teams nearby he can train with and he likes being with his pals too much...well this is now more a reason he goes now than the actual football as he usually spends his time sat out waiting for a turn at training.

If he's just doing it to be with his mates then he needs to change his position and say he doesn't want to be goalie anymore.

This is the age whereby if he stays in goal he'll miss out on learning a lot of skills and won't have the same stamina as the boys who are running around for the whole match, so it's worth doing anyway.

Yes, I agree with Happiness - if he wants to go and train and play and enjoy being with his mates then he needs to tell them that he will play outfield instead of goalie as they no longer need him as a goalie. That way he will get to be subbed on and off with the others.

At 8 everyone should get equal time regardless of ability! Also at 8 surely he shouldn't be pigeon holed into any one position?! Talk to the coaches.

Have you paid your subs for this year? Teams around here charge £300-400 a year for membership. If you've paid, then there bloody should be a place for your son on the team, and I'd be taking it higher up the club if that's not happening. They really can't just make him a permanent sub, not without explicitly agreeing that with you and your son first.
I agree you need to find him a new team.

We have tried talking to the coaches. Its goalie or nothing. They mainly just prioritise their own children and their pals children whereas me and my husband aren't pals with any of them. We just wanted our son to go to football with this pals and enjoy it but that's not what's happening that's why we are thinking of stopping it bit would feel bad but also why should we pay our fees every month for teams to play games that hes not getting too.
Ita just hard as he is 8. He doesnt understand the full extent of how bad it really is.
He got invited to be the goalie at 1 game last weekend as another couldn't make it. It got called off due to the weather so has been rescheduled but isn't invited this time.
He has also been there one of the longest and did play for another team before that and was asked to come back as a goal keeper that's also what's more annoying.
At 8 all children should be given equal opportunity no matter of ability and should be given guidance and support to better themselves he definitely isn't getting this. Neither are some other children. Some kids are only getting invited at the weekends to make up numbers but coaches aren't interested in helping them progress. Just providing enough players and wanting their child to stand out more.

The solution is really, really easy

You join the coaching staff

I am highly tempted to report them to the SYFA but then fear they will take it out on my son even more as I have made my feelings clear already to them. I know a few other parents aren't overly happy with the way things are done but again they dont want to say anything incase it backfires on their child.
Honestly its ridiculous the drama for a kids football team
They even had an awards night where all the kids that won trophies were the coaches children

My husband has tried to join as at point they said they needed to cut kids as they didnt have enough coaches and he said he would take on the goalkeepers to give them all a fair chance and equal opportunity this was agreed on but they are now back tracking and say it's okay hes not needed. Another dad tried this as well but they said no to him.

They sound like an absolutely vile bunch. I’d say you want a refund as you’ve not received what you’ve paid for. Do your best to find another team and in the meantime the suggestion he plays outfielder is a good one if he’s ok with that.

This is such a horrible read.

At such a young age group the FA recommends players rotate round positions to learn the game. The fact your child is stuck in one position isn't great. The fact he's excluded in training AND matches is terrible.

Training should be about perfecting skills, usually working in small groups. No need for anyone to be excluded.

The parents running this club sound really unpleasant and are not following FA grassroots guidance at all.

I would investigate other clubs, in other towns if necessary.

Point out the FA guidelines and demand a refund if they’re not complied with