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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this?

28 replies

mnthrowaway202020 · 17/02/2020 22:09

Went out for a casual lunch with 3 of my colleagues today. We get lunch together often and no one posts about it. This time one of them posted photos of us two, where I look awful and she looks nice.

I had filler last week so my face is swollen still, I look awful and to be honest, want to dissolve it regardless of swelling. I told her I didn’t like any of the photos we took because the filler is obvious and I feel insecure. We discussed my botched filler on the day so she knew how I felt.

Aside from the filler, my hair looks shit and I wasn’t ready for the photos. I look rough generally.

I thought it was just a low-key lunch, if I knew she was gonna post lots on her social channels I wouldn’t have gone or at least would have prepared myself. I’ve already had “wtf” messages from people we know as I look that bad so the posts didn’t go under the radar. It’s like she chose the ones that I look the worst in!

OP posts:
LipsyGirl · 17/02/2020 22:12

That’s mean! I always ask to take a picture & I certainly ask to post a pic. Im a private person myself so it would offend me.

I’m confused as to why you’d rather not go than explain you’d rather not take pictures? Are you not comfortable saying No?

Finfintytint · 17/02/2020 22:16

I think your issue should be we with people who comment “wtf”. Do you normally socialise with such superficial people?

plunkplunkfizz · 17/02/2020 22:19

What kind of rude people would send you the “WTF” messages? They’re your real problem.

LowcaAndroidow · 17/02/2020 22:21

Can’t you just ask your friend to take it down?

Original poster
mnthrowaway202020 · 17/02/2020 22:22

I did say that I didn’t want photos taken and especially not posted due to the bad filler. And I have asked them to take the pics down which they haven’t. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and insecure about what I look like. I’m not beautiful or photogenic to begin with so the botched filler makes me look that much worse.

I’d rather not go to save the embarrassment being seen with my face like this, and then having photos posted. I can’t avoid going to work but I’d definitely prefer not being social whilst my face looks so bizarre.

OP posts:
ZoeandChandon · 17/02/2020 22:23

I would ask her to take them down.

Original poster
mnthrowaway202020 · 17/02/2020 22:26

The dms (not public comments) weren’t literally saying wtf - I was just paraphrasing. They were asking what happened with my face essentially, what’s going on, if I had filler etc.

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 17/02/2020 22:26

Without knowing what having a filler actually means, why should anyone comment?

JosefKeller · 17/02/2020 22:27

Who posted WTF? Is the angle of the photo so weird it makes your face and new filler genuinely look bizarre? Do people think it's some kind of joke, or bad filter maybe?

Ask her to remove the photo.

If you are the kind of person who needs filler and who is so sensitive about social media, you need to step away. It's not good for your mental health at the moment.

Original poster
mnthrowaway202020 · 17/02/2020 22:27

Filler as in dermal face fillers

OP posts:
JosefKeller · 17/02/2020 22:28

these are examples of fillers, mainly lips

LipsyGirl · 17/02/2020 22:28

I’m so sorry Op. this is horrible! A lot of people have fillers, I have. I had a non surgical nose job, FWIW my nose bridge went huge. But if you asked for no pics and have asked to take them down they should!

Message again & they can crop you out if they want to keep the pic but you don’t want it up Flowers

Original poster
mnthrowaway202020 · 17/02/2020 22:32

@JosefKeller that’s my point! I don’t use social media so I have stepped away. I asked for these not to be posted but they were posted without my consent. I definitely look worse with the filler than I did before so I certainly feel very insecure now. I look like Kylie Jenner in the link you posted.

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 17/02/2020 22:36

Good God. Having just googled, why would anyone do that to their face? It’s rude of people to comment though.

MrsMGE · 17/02/2020 22:37

Did you pose to these pictures or not?

So many aspects to this story. Why do you feel you have to look certain way for a "casual lunch with your colleagues"? Why do you feel you need to look certain way so that you think you needed fillers in the first place? Why are you so worried about other people's opinions about you/this photo? Why do you bother with the mean girls crew who won't take it down even though you've asked?

Being so focused on looks is really superficial, OP. But reading between the lines you're very insecure and I hope you'll see wood from the trees. You don't need to look different. You can be yourself. You shouldn't care about what people think. You might want to change your circle going forward to genuine and kind people.

Heartburn888 · 17/02/2020 22:40

Can you not report the photos so they are taken down by admin?

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 17/02/2020 22:41

That would really, really, really, really piss me off and in fact, I probably wouldn’t be friends with her any more. I don’t use social media and always tell (not ask!) my friends not to post pictures of me. One friend did a few years back and let’s just say I don’t have much to do with her any more.
It’s extremely disrespectful. And It sounds like your “friend” did it to be downright bitchy and mean.

Heartburn888 · 17/02/2020 22:41

Also, it’s Your decision to have filler. I have had it myself in the past and I liked it so much I got it done again. Your body, your decision and the filler isn’t even the main issue here.

Original poster
mnthrowaway202020 · 17/02/2020 22:45

@MrsMGE I feel like you have missed the point. As I was just going out for a basic lunch with colleagues, I didn’t feel the need to dress up/have fabulous hair etc. Hence why I look rough. I wasn’t expecting photos. I just wanted pasta.

Obviously I regret the filler and want to get it dissolved. It was a mistake having it done. That doesn’t mean I want photos of my currently botched face online though.

And sorry, I did just assume that posters would know what “filler” is. I had filler in my lips and cheeks which look awful. My face looks puffy and inflamed and I don’t look like myself.

OP posts:
Commonwasher · 17/02/2020 22:46

Message your friend and ask her to take it down.

I agree she is rude to post them knowing you are self conscious of your appearance atm.

LipsyGirl · 17/02/2020 22:47

When did you have it done Op? Sometimes you do swell & when it goes down it looks good

MrsMGE · 17/02/2020 22:49

Still don't know where I'd missed the point. It's clear the photos should be taken down. It's also clear there are bigger issues involved.

Goodgollymiss · 17/02/2020 22:58

I would b annoyed a true friend would understand x

converseandjeans · 17/02/2020 23:07

YANBU it was a mean thing to do. I would ask her to take them down and ask "wtf were you thinking?"
However it might be a wake up call about the fillers. Try to stop them. You probably look better natural.

CorianderLord · 17/02/2020 23:21

I'd ask her to take it down. People often put pics of me and them up without asking but anyone decent will just remove it if you ask

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