AIBU to take back control or am I depressed?

[CinnnemonBeauty]

I had a pretty horrendous experience at work (I posted here under a different user name) it was basically a character assassination by my boss who is CEO of the company. You all agreed that he is a narcissist and to grey rock him.

As a result of what he said about me and to me I’ve withdrawn. I was heart on sleeve and I was very open - emotionally - what you see is what you got.

I have now taken a step back not just professionally - I’m quieter - I just come in and get on with it (I did this anyway I work in sales so I was just louder more salesy) I’ve noticed my boss is reluctant to celebrate my success I’ve brought in 10s of thousands of pounds of business since January. My previous employer - my old manager would have been singing from the rooftops to the Directors - morning from my boss at all.

I’m made to feel small - not worthless - but to just shush my success so as to not make others feel bad - while he boosts others for smaller achievements - I get nothing.

Everyone especially in targeted sales needs a pat on the back. I know this I used to manage a successful team. It’s tough!

I feel like I can’t be myself but I used to be pretty active on social media - I’ve stopped posting - I keep on thinking if I check in somewhere - post any pics - well I’m showing off and I shouldn’t show off - because that’s what my boss doesn’t like to do for me at work - so I feel now I can’t show off any of my life. I’m not friends with work colleagues on social media. I’ve just started withdrawing in all aspects of my life.

I also used to be the one who set things up - socially - so I’m an organiser - quizzes , nights out with family - mums from school etc I’ve just withdrawn - I just feel like I can’t engage with people anymore - I feel like I’ve lost my bubbly - authentic side after he’s just shot me down at work - I will go for counselling - but I just want to know is it better that I have stopped posting on social media (I do feel less exposed and more in control - I feel that maybe are not judging me) or is it that actually I’ve lot myself and I am becoming depressed.

You did all tell me to leave this work place and I might have to. But I feel like his conversation with me fundamentally changed me and I want to find my old self.

Supposed to say *nothing not morning

I started with an AIbU and I think my AIBU is AIBU to feel this way? Actually is this a better way to be - am I better off being withdrawn etc? I just don’t know I’ve lost myself

Some things can’t be fixed. Your ass boss is one of them. Time to get a new job where you are respected and valued as you deserve.

You think I’m withdrawing - not being myself because of him? I feel like I’m changing myself and I don’t really want to change I need to be me.

When you go through something which stuns you to your very core you don’t just walk away unscathed. It stays with you and it’s like you go flat. Like you shut down. Like things that used to make you laugh out loud or make you happy don’t seem to have the same affect any more. Like the joy has gone and you’re just going through the motions.

If you leave that place you will gradually return to bring you.

You could probably get anti depressants from the doc to help you through this time. But honestly I’d start job hunting. You only get one life. Don’t waste it at that company. Onwards and upwards.

The fact you've withdrawn at work & behave differently there says it all. You need to jobhunt. He's crushed your confidence & staying will compound that. I'd stay off social media til I felt more myself, you've had a huge knock so will be feeling a bit vulnerable. He's an arse, don't let him win.

Thank you sorry - I lost such belief in myself that I didn’t even check back if I had more responses.

My husband said to me today that I must leave - yes I’ve stayed off social media - I think it feeds negativity - I feel I’ve checked out of myself - my boss makes me so angry. That I’m not able to be myself.