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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for payment of deposit now

67 replies

Pinkerpellosa · 17/02/2020 15:39

I have booked a group thing for the summer. Deposit was unexpectedly 50%. Which came to a good few hundred pounds. I booked on my credit card so we wouldn't miss out. Should I ask other members of the group to pay their share of the deposit now?
On one hand I will be incurring interest on it up until the summer/until I can manage to pay it off.
On the other hand I and one other member of the group made the decision to book. We could have taken our chances and waited to get it later and risked there being no availability. Though everyone else is on board with it.

YABU take the money only when the thing happens
YANBU ask people for their share of the deposit now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkerpellosa · 17/02/2020 21:34

Lola I kinda agree with you.

But someone had to book it and so I did.

I'll leave it a while and see if anyone offers to send a bit of money my way.

Full amount is due 2 weeks before the thing happens. Would it be ok to ask for full payment by then?

OP posts:
Waveysnail · 17/02/2020 23:06

I'd just send a message asking if evryonone can send you the deposit in the next couple of months

Marnie76 · 17/02/2020 23:14

You ask for payment from them as soon as you make the payment. Don’t wait for them to offer, tell them how much and give them your bank details. Set up a WhatsApp group and thank them as they send the money, that way stragglers will be ‘guilted’ into paying.

Palavah · 17/02/2020 23:14

Did everyone agree that they would go and agree to the price and dates?

I think you need to let them all know, now "great news I was able to secure a deal for xxx". Deposit of 59% payable now so please transfer to me .
Balance will be payable 2 weeks XXX etc."

You may get one or two drop outs as a result but they would have flaked anyway as soon as money was required so better you smoke that out sooner rather than later and people have a chance to save or find replacements.

Palavah · 17/02/2020 23:14

Don't wait to see if people randomly send you money

LolaSmiles · 18/02/2020 04:22

OP You don't have to wait to see if anyone pays up, just tell everyone you've booked it and you've paid the deposit so £X needs paying asap/in the next week and the final balance is needed by (insert 2 weeks before the actual deadline).

You've just got to be aware that some people may not have the deposit at the moment and so some fkexyin your part would be reasonable given you booked without discussing. The charging interest suggestions are ridiculous in this situation and would be an easy way to sour a friendship.

It's a nightmare organising these trips isn't it?

Zoecarter · 18/02/2020 05:44

If you didn’t say to them before you booked “I am going to book this event is everyone deffo up for it?” You can’t ask them for the money. Also if they drop out that is on you they didn’t agree to finely going. I would be so annoyed without having a final conversation and you spending my money without my ok.

Winter2020 · 18/02/2020 06:08

I agree with the WhatsApp group suggestion. I also agree you should give people a pay day before your deadline.

Assuming the amount isn't huge and needing to be spread across pay days I would say something like:

Tickets booked! I have paid the (non refundable) deposit which was £50 each so please let me have this by 10th March. I need the remainder of the balance (another £50 by 10 June). If you can no longer go let me know ASAP so we can find replacements. Cheers Pinka

Ask for the final money a couple of weeks before so you have time to nag if needed and time to look for replacements if needed.

PleasantVille · 18/02/2020 06:19

(he people going with you aren't expecting you to finance their tickets are they?! Of course you should ask them for the money now. I wouldn't be happy to pay someone else's card interest when I might have had a cheaper way to pay. Really if you're having to borrow to fund it you shouldnt be the one paying it.

CupoTeap · 18/02/2020 06:33

Do they know you've now booked it?

Fucket · 18/02/2020 06:37

Never book anything for anyone unless they’ve transferred the money to you before you pay the deposit.

People have sudden financial emergencies like new boilers to buy and that mean they might have to pull out of an activity and it’s no ones fault.

There is always this risk in life when you book something but now you have taken on everyone’s risk without them knowing it, and you’d be best off asking for their deposit share now before they forget they even agreed to go (if they haven’t already).

User12879923378 · 18/02/2020 06:43

Ask now, but I hope everyone really did agree as I would be really annoyed to be presented with a bill without someone having specifically told me they were booking.

DonnaDarko · 18/02/2020 06:47

Yes, I should have double checked with everyone but it was a generally agreed to thing, just nobody was pulling the trigger on it

I'm sure you will find that at least one person will drop out. Was everyone aware of how much it might cost? I personally always want to know the price before anyone books anything on my behalf. I don't have a lot of money after paying for everything so I need to carefully budget for additional spends.

Northernsoullover · 18/02/2020 06:47

I believe that there may be an option of cancelling whatever you have booked within a short period. For example flights within 24 hrs. Therefore I would say if you want to come I will need the money by 6pm or I'm cancelling the whole bloody lot. Check what the cooling off period is.

ChateauMargaux · 18/02/2020 06:48

Don't be daft. Ask for the deposit now and if individuals want to discuss the timing of payment, they can. If there are any who don't pay immediately, then you need to get the final payment before you pay it. Anyone who doesn't pay the deposit, doesn't get t go and you have to find someone else to take their place.

'Springing' the deposit on them now is no different to committing them to the full.payment in the summer. It's done and now you have to ensure you are not out of pocket.

adaline · 18/02/2020 07:02

Did they know you were booking it and how much it would cost?

Because if someone didn't tell me the price or anything and just came to me and said "oh I booked X, you owe me Y" I can't imagine being very happy!

Rough planning is very different from agreeing to book and pay.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 18/02/2020 07:23

I am now, as others, bit confused.
Did the group know you were booking it? Did they all say yes to the booking AND the cost? Generally agreed is bit of a bullshit. People do this "Yeah! Let's do this! Wooohaaa" all the time without intention to ever do it... Is that why you are apprehensive to tell them to send you the money to cover it? Or is it a general incapability?

Original poster
Pinkerpellosa · 18/02/2020 09:19

Sorry, I'm being a bit vague I know.
The activity was agreed on. The price was going to be pretty much the same, give or take a little, depending on deals available, days available etc. All had agreed to do this.

My question I suppose is, considering that a deposit would generally be assumed to be 10% , but this deposit happened to be far more, WIBU to ask participants for their share of the deposit now. When they might have been budgeting to pay closer to the time (as I would have been)

OP posts:
returnofthecat · 18/02/2020 09:31

You should have asked before you booked. However, you are where you are now, so...

If it's a real cost to you (you say you'll be paying interest, so I'm guessing you can't afford to clear it yourself and/or have no interest-free card available), you should ask now.

The longer you wait, the more people will drop out anyway, so it's better for you to collect their share whilst they're still willing to pay it.

bingbangbing · 18/02/2020 09:34

If people agreed to it, they should pay you their share of the deposit now.

TippledPink · 18/02/2020 09:34

Just ask them! I would hate for my friend to go to the effort of arranging it and feel they couldn't ask me for the money, costing them even more money! Just explain that the deposit was 50%, which is more than expected but if anyone can send the full deposit than you would appreciate it, or if not 20% is fine?

scotlandthebravenotthebrexit · 18/02/2020 09:41

Did you confirm with them what the cost of the deposit would be before you paid it? I do think it's fair for you to ask for it now. But, if they weren't expecting the expense at this time, you the have to accept that some may not have the money to give you right now.

CakeandCustard28 · 18/02/2020 09:46

If they want to go, they should pay towards it ASAP. But be warned some might of not been expecting it so soon so might not have the cash but you could always say to pay you instalments they can afford if it’s a fair bit of money? Make it easier for them?

Arthritica · 18/02/2020 10:01

Be open, let everyone know what’s happening.

“Hi all, I can confirm we’re all booked for XX trip on XX day at a total cost of XX each.
I’ve paid the 50% deposit so please transfer your 1/2XX to me now - or by 5th March if it’s easier after payday.
Send the final 1/2XX by (date a week before you need it because people are often late).
Bank details below, thanks everyone “

adaline · 18/02/2020 10:02

You still haven't clarified whether you checked before booking though?

I mean, you say the deposit was unexpectedly high but you didn't need to pay it without checking with the group first.

I suspect you didn't check and are now kicking yourself because people may refuse to pay (or to even attend at all) and you're worried you're going to be out hundreds or thousands of pounds.