To want to break something?

[AlecOrAlonzo]

Not my back or anything. Perhaps a leg? I could lie on the sofa and read books and the rest of the world could get stuffed.

Or perhaps contract a just-debilitating enough virus before work tomorrow? I don't want to be extremely ill but certainly contagious enough for no contact with other humans.

Maybe my car will blow away in Storm Dennis and I won't make it in. Except one day isn't long enough. Needs to be more like a month.

I've got 6 hours before I have to get up and begin the week again. Surely there's something I can do to prevent the horror...

😊 I was having a similar conversation with my DD a while back. She decided the best possible scenario would be a broken finger on her right hand: just enough to be unable to do her job, but minor enough to live it up while off sick on full pay!

Meet someone with Coronavirus and you’ll get two weeks at home with no need for limb breakage.

...Or you could find a less miserable job.

I can recommend a broken foot. I had 4 glorious summer weeks off a few years ago. Hurt like hell at the time but they gave me a moon boot and I could clutter about (even round the block) quite happily. It was before DD so I cleaned, watched TV, cooked nice food, baked, sat in the sun. It was like a holiday. I totally understand you're thinking. Could you book some annual leave for May when its nicer weather? Even take some parental leave if you have DC?

There was one point where a job got so bad I was googling how to break a wrist. In hindsight I shouldn't have stayed in that job.

This is just light hearted isn’t it?

See GP and get signed off with stress/anxiety. This might be real OP. You're seriously having problems going to work for some reason.

I used to daydream about being hit by a bus on the way to work. This is now my benchmark of needing to find a new job and get away from a toxic environment.

You need a bloody good holiday!

Lighthearted!

Liking the finger idea. Pretty sure they'd expect me in though.

Hate to break it to you @blackcat86 but I worked through my broken foot last summer (also the boot in the summer was MURDER. So warm!). You want a broken leg I think, in the autumn or spring months, harder to ignore that and cool enough that the boot won't be a bitch!

Broken foot though means no driving. They couldn't expect me in without a car?

Depends on the break I guess.. I drove through mine, sneakily took the boot off for the drive but I'd broken the 3rd metatarsal (and I've broken bones more than the average badger so am somewhat used to getting around the inconveniences). If you'd smashed the foot up something good then you probably couldn't drive! But then the pain level would be higher..