Innocent or not? Why do we decode texts?

[Ginbunny1212]

Split up with my ex 2 months ago. We only went out for 6 months. We split due to busy lives and it was clear we weren’t making time for each other. He had been having a lot of problems with his teenager (50% custody) and ex. It was stressing him out, and he wouldn’t share much with me - just saying he was on a low due to issues.

It was no hard feelings, just situational and feeling he was not emotionally available. He did admit when I ended it he found it hard to share and open up. He said was still interested, but agreed our lives and distance got in the way. He craves security - not had the most secure life - which is something I could of gave him. I have my life together, which he admitted scared him. would seem his last partners and family did not.

We went NC for a month. Then over the last few weekends we have had a lot of text conversations. He has finally opened up to me and told me everything that has been going on in his life with his teenager. It sounds horrible and no wonder he shut down.

He is back to old texting habits. Kisses at the end of messages, in jokes and remembering things about me. Before some of his messages were self absorbed.

So does he want someone to talk to? He has lots of friends. Is he interested and testing the waters? Or just friendly banter.

I am not too sure what I want. I do fancy him, but unsure what has changed. Unless he realised we were avoid fit. He is not the most direct Guy is expressing things.

So basically be annoyed at him acting like we were in a relationship or just listen to the guy?

I think you need to decide if you would like a relationship with him, especially given what you know about his life. If so, proceed with caution.
If not, make a break now and tell him clearly that you are doing so, then block him.
Ball is in your court!

I think he's trying to keep you available as an option, so he's not shutting things down completely. But he's not actively pursuing you.

We try to decode texts because text as a medium is a very sparse and bare form of communication which leaves a LOT open to interpretation. With text messages you don't have tone of voice or body language to help guide your interpretation. Words can mean a lot of things, it's a toughie.

decide what you want OP, then push to talk in person. You'll get a better impression of what he's playing at when you get the full range of communication and not just the bare text :)

Youre being kept on the hook... just in case.

I know. Not too sure anything will have changed, but he is a nice guy. We have agreed to meet up for lunch this week. He hints at things and was asking what I was up to. I Suggested catching up. He said lunch, so good to go to a public place to assess.

Sounds very similar to my ex situation. Together six months, he was very busy with his DD who he had 50% of the time, which was fine she's lovely. He was also very wrapped up in his own life, set in his own ways, not very flexible, or accommodating towards me and due to having commitments in his town 30 miles away from mine, I schlepped over to his place 90% of the time.

I let it go as I'd fallen for him and wasn't thinking straight. Then we had a couple of rows and realised that he wasn't for me, he was too selfish for me. This is despite how much I loved and fancied him. So I ended it.

We stayed friends, we met a couple of times after splitting and we were flirty, it took all of my willpower to not pounce on him. I had to remind myself why we split.

To distract me, I threw myself into dating. And quickly met my DP. That was five and a half years ago, best decision ever. I'm still friends with my ex, but have zero feelings for him. He has had a couple of short-lived relationships in that time, he can't seem to maintain them though.

So, move on. Don't go back. Know your worth.