How much do you let anxiety control you?

[beckywiththeshithair33]

Got an event coming up this week that I'm dreading due to anxiety. It's a funeral on Thursday of a family friend. Not someone I was particularly close to but I do feel I should go and pay my respects. But (and I hate to make this sound all about me when it's someone's funeral) it will be a majorly triggering situation for me. I struggle with formal events especially those that are high pressure or emotional. I struggle with any sort of engagement or meeting that I feel I can't escape from without being noticed. Last year I had a terrible panic attack at my goddaughters christening because I was deep in the pews and felt I couldn't escape. My anxiety often leads to feelings of nausea and needing the toilet so i panic if I feel I can't get to the toilet too.

Honestly it's horrific. And I'm thinking to myself I should just not go. But then surely that's letting my anxiety control me? It's a dilemma because I think why put myself through it but then I feel if I don't I'm allowing the anxiety to control me and the next thing I go to will be doubly hard and eventually I'll just stop doing things altogether.

I'm not on medication at the minute but I'm wondering if it might help with attacks. Ironically I only seem to suffer when I'm in this unfamiliar 'danger' situations - at home or work I'm generally fine.

How does your anxiety control you? Any techniques for stopping panic when I'm in this sort of situation?

Not a short term fix but I did CBT years ago, along with medication. I still have occasional problems but I’m very much in control of the anxiety and not the other way around. I have plenty of tools now to deal with it and it’s rarely an issue. I highly recommend it.

If you speak to your GP you will be able to get something like Propranolol for your panic attacks. Anxiety can be very debilitating but there are things that can help.

Go, sit at the back by the door. If anyone queries why you’re sitting there say you’re not feeling well. No one will push it.

I did try CBT a few years ago and just couldn't get to grips with it. I'm not sure that I had the best counsellor to be honest. I have asked about medication but my GP wouldn't give me it - she said that my anxiety isn't bad enough to warrant it and I should try other talking therapies first.

But in terms of this week I need a quick fix or a boost of confidence to get me through it. I'm scared I'll have to rush out - how inappropriate would that be in the middle of a funeral :(

My anxiety controls me far more than it should. I was due to meet a friend yesterday. Anxiety made me cancel. Sometimes I don't leave the house for -3 days at a time.
Propranolol helps a bit but some days its still too overwhelming. I need to refer for cbt again I think. I was offered it before but anxiety stopped me attending.

As PP suggested, sit right at the back.
Don't go in too early, so you won't be sitting for long.
As you go in, check out how you can get out quickly if you feel you need to.

Yes I'll try to get somewhere near the back but I'll be with family and they don't get it at all, they'll think I'm being weird or difficult. I suppose the perceptions of others are a big part of why I get so nervous.

Can relate to cancelling things because of anxiety. Usually I can manage coffees, lunches out and stuff like that. But anything that involves a lot of travelling or going to an unfamiliar place usually results in an attack and possibly cancelling.

Tell your family you’re queasy/light headed and feel faint - say you think you e caught a bug. So you need to stay near the door. If they’re of that mindset they can’t argue with physical issues, can they?

But a big step would be to say I know you don’t understand it, but I have anxiety and I need to sit by the door. End of conversation: ignore any eye rolling or surprise,

Sorry to hear about your family friend

Do not let your anxiety control you. You are stronger than that, even if you don't feel it.

Propranolol helped me when I was having lots of panic attacks- it slows your heart rate.

Small coping mechanisms which have saved me many many times!
-chewing gum or sucking on a mint, really helps with the nausea and helps you get out some nervous energy. This is the thing which has always helped me the most when feeling panicky (and it's so simple!)
-grounding techniques: around you find 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste.
-distraction techniques: think of a country/food/capital city/colour/anything you like beginning with every letter of the alphabet A-Z, and work your way through. No one will know you're doing it

Sit at the back of the funeral at the end of a row, and you can step out for a minute if you need to. Not inappropriate at all, people notice/care much less than you think. I'm sure you wouldn't judge someone in the same situation. People are more understanding than you think.

You can do it! Your anxiety does not control you, nor does it define you. You should go to the funeral.

And who cares what your family think!!