Will I bu?

[Kj0108891]

I've namechanged as this could be outing.

I've got a 9 yo son. He's got a son (20) and an 18 yearold. His youngest went to a youth prison for a bad assault. He was released recently and he's been staying with us for about 2 weeks. At first I didn't really agree with husband but he told me he isn't a bad person and to give him a chance. So I did and I thought he was a nice person and he was nice towards my son.

Anyway yesterday he was shouting at my son and husband told him off. Yesterday he went out with his friend and he was in a fight I think but he told husband nothing happened.

Husband has taken my son and his eldest to the football and his son was complaining because I wouldn't do something and he kept going on and he went to hit me.

He's now gone out. WIBU to not want him here anymore? Can I have some advice please?

Is it your house, or your partners?

I told husband and he told me that he'll talk to him. And told me he wouldn't hit me.

It's my Husbands house

So sorry OP - what a bloody tough situation.

Sounds awful - when you say he went to hit you - did he stop himself? Has he acknowledged and apologised?

Is he still adjusting?
Can you sit and talk to him with your husband there?

Well, your married so isn’t the house yours too?

Yes he stopped himself. He hasn't apologised. Husband has said he's going to talk to him.

It is also my house but he lived here before me and son moved in.

You feared violence and assault and that is enough to be legally considered assault. Plus even though hes a step son, its also a domestic so police wont brush it under the carpet, call 101 x

And told me he wouldn't hit me.

Funnily enough my ex used to say this before he started hitting me. And between every time afterwards.

The thought of his dad saying it on his behalf is even more ridiculous.

Please put your son first. Your partner is putting his son first. Why can't you do the same?

Do you have somewhere that you and your son can go? I don't think your dh will back you up on this so the best thing to do would be leave.

No i dont have anywhere to go yet but son is staying at his friends today.

Husband said his son won't have anywhere to go.

I don't know why he doesn't accept his son is violent etc because his son also punched Husbands stepson the other day and husband said that he probably didn't mean to.

Husband said his son won't have anywhere to go.

Well he's an adult so he'll need to find somewhere.

It's your son who has nowhere else to go long term, he's a little boy who doesn't deserve to be in danger.

Sorry OP this would be the end if my partner was behaving hiw yours is.

Call the police. Do not put the violent man over your child and your safety. Your husband is in denial. He goes or (better and) you call 111.

OP, your husband has buried his head in the sand. Please call the police.

@Kj0108891
[...] his son also punched Husbands stepson the other day [...]

Your own son is also 'Husband's stepson' -- so it would only stand to reason that he's capable of punching your son, too.

Why didn't you, or your husband, or the other stepson's mother, report the assault? (Or even the other stepson himself - how old is he?)

Yes, he'll go back to prison when you report him.
Then he'll have a place to stay. Problem solved.

Meanwhile, I'd work on getting a divorce.

@JustForTheTasteOfIt
Please put your son first. Your partner is putting his son first. Why can't you do the same?

This excellent point deserves a repeat. 👍
＿

At 18 if he punched someone then he meant to do it. Your husband is in denial. I hope you managed to sort something out that’s a bit longer term than an overnight visit to a friend’s for your son. Your husband needs to pull his head out of his arse.

Are you okay, OP?