Not to bother seeing them for my bday

[HHHHw]

Close family have asked what I am doing for my bday, when I will see them etc! I have planned a day out in the week with my DH and kids!

AIBU not to arrange anything with my family (DM,DS etc) I would probably never see them in general if I didn't make the effort and go to them so don't see why I should also put the effort in on my birthday to plan something 🤷🏻‍♀️

Or am I just being bitter 🥴

Just say you have other plans.

Well do what you want to do , say you have a day planned and you can see them on such a day .

There must be a back story here as you seem to be cross that your family want to see you on or near your birthday. This is not a bad thing.

I would reply that you are out on the day but free at the weekend. This would be a standard conversation in my family and not something to get cross about.

Tell them you have plans for the actual day, but happy to spread the celebrations a bit - what did they have in mind for you? If they want to make an effort to arrange something nice for you - lovely. If it's just them thinking you should be making the effort, just because...….which from your last comment, sounds more likely, I'd wait for them to shift themselves and make some effort to arrange something.

Or just pop over for a cup of tea 🤷‍♀️