To be horrified post birth (possibly tmi!)

[Cringeycringecringe]

Hi all!

Baby is now 7 months old, big baby and forcep birth with episiotomy. I have just braved a look 'downstairs'. I have no pain (during sex or otherwise) so no functioning issues if that makes sense. Anyway, I am horrified. I have a skin tag on the outside which I never had. It is more 'open' if that makes sense and inside I have what can only be described as pockets? Basically i can feel little channels and one little pocket or flap 😱😩 is this normal?? I assume it's due to stitching and scar tissue but omg. I thought I was pretty much unscathed!! AIBU to think what the hell ?! We are planning another child next year and now I have serious concerns about what my body will be like after that! Sorry if this all sounds vain but I just didn't expect this 😳😩

From what I've heard it's normal (I had an EMCS but I know a number of people who gave birth naturally). If I have another I'll hopefully be attempting a VBAC so potentially have all this to come.

I tend to think of it in a similar way to the stretched / loose skin on the stomach? Ie. The skin down there had to stretch to let the baby through, and it's a lottery as to whether everything shrinks back or not (same as for stomachs).

Like you said, the main thing is you wouldn't have known without looking. And how often is anyone going to be down there having a look?

I had 2 huge babies (and I'm tiny!) Both resulted in episiotomies and after my second I was rushed into surgery straight after giving birth to be 'repaired'
Dc 1 is now 19 and I still haven't looked
I'm no longer with my dcs father and I was petrified of showing any new dp the 'damage'
2nd dh is more than happy with my undercarriage but despite his encouragement I'm still refusing to look!!!

I always expected it to be different but I just didn't expect all the internal bumpy bits and little flaps 😳🙈

@Curiosity101 you are of course right that no one ever really looks down there (other than Dh!)

@velocitygirl7 I regret looking 😆 ignorance is bliss!

Crikey, you've definitely confirmed that I made the right decision.
It's early days for you though? Things may look very different after a while!

@Cringeycringecringe definitely! It's nearly 20 years and I'm still not planning to look

Yeah mine feels more open and like some of the inside is now outside IYSWIM because its sort of lumpy around the entrance. I don't have any kind of prolapse its just how it is. Im never going to look at it though!

Yeah I did the same and was horrified. It did all calm down a bit more as time went on. Having another baby in the summer and I am resolutely NOT going to look ever.

I never looked after dc1 (or before tbh...!) Hd dc2 2 weeks ago and had a look at about 3cdays pp... Omg!! Just like you describe, open, bloody extra skin and extraneous flaps everywhere... I was like 😳😳😳 and now paranoid and having a feel every time I'm on the loo wondering about prolapse etc... Ignorance is bliss! Might have another look later though... See what difference a week or so has made...!

This is the thing! I'm almost certain it's not a prolapse and it's just extra 'skin' so to speak internally but how on earth do you know? No ones looked since the birth! 🤦🏻‍♀️

@TotHappy blimey you are brave...don't think I looked at anything in the mirror two weeks postpartum 😂

I get you OP!

I looked too about 5 months after DD2 was born.

She's now 10 months and I won't look again!!!!

I have a tiny tiny hemorrhoid on my butt that I'm so ashamed about too

I have the same since ds1 was born. Had tearing, episiotomy and forceps which probably had something to do with it. If it help at all my 9lb ds2 didn’t seem to do any further damage!

I looked at mine two days later

Horrifying

I hear you! When my ds was born the hv came round 5 days later. She was so lovely and checked my stitches for me (3rd degree tear) and said it was all healing nicely. She then handed me a mirror so that I could check myself if I developed any sign of infection. Well, I don't know what I was expecting but it was huge purple mess and I never want to see that thing again.
It must look aright after 2 years though as dh has never mentioned anything...

I always expected it to be different but I just didn't expect all the internal bumpy bits and little flaps

I think the bumpy bits were always there, iyswim, but after birth become more obvious. If you think about it, inside isn’t just a ‘tube’, it needs to stretch to allow a baby out, so the inside skin has ‘extra capacity’.

Tbh, I noticed it less after my subsequent children. Yes, part of this was because I was used to it, but I also think it kind of adjusted itself as well.

It didn’t get worse after my 2nd and 3rd babies. In fact, imo it looks better. Give it time, OP.

I never looked pre children, some 20 odd years ago I do not think we gave a thought to what our bits looked like compared to people these days.I have looked in more recent years, but of course I have nothing to compare it to.

I have a skin tag too. I personally didn’t look down there but the nurse doing my smear test obviously had to and was concerned. I was even referred to a hospital gynaecologist because of it. The consultant told me it’s not a big deal and don’t worry about it. She could cauterise it off or otherwise I can just leave it. I decided to leave it.

You aren’t alone!!!