To feel like I can't progress a career now I've had kids

[Babybundle007]

I'm a mum to two boys, one aged 5.5 and the other is just 14 months. Family life is fine, the boys are doing well and I'm very happy so in this respect I am very grateful.

However, I am struggling with feelings of low mood in regards to work. I currently work part-time in Adult Social Care, and I've had various roles there over the last decade so I'm very experienced. I'm asked by colleagues to advice more senior members of staff and take on induction tasks for new starters that a higher grade would ordinarily do.

Because I haven't got a formal qualification in the field I have reached the top of my banding very quickly, and I can't progress any further.

I've looked into taking a post-graduate qualification (I have a BA Hons already, pre-children) but the issue is the cost of the course, and the expense of covering placements, for which I wouldn't get paid, so effectively, I'd have no salary or income. I've looked into loans/grants etc. to no avail.

I would like to work with students, supporting them in the workplace, or perhaps on placement themselves, or as a careers advisor/practice development lead but I've lost my mojo. I feel as though it is an unrealistic goal. Perhaps I should just leave the field of work I'm in and try something else, starting again from scratch. That seems daunting as well, and my confidence has almost completely gone. AIBU to think like this? Any other mums struggle with developing a career after kids?

Sorry didn't mean to enable voting!

Won’t your authority sponsor you to train as a SW? All the LAs I know are crying out for people to train.

Unfortunately not. I've been told that because I'm on part-time hours, it wouldn't be viable because I'd have to dedicate 20% of my working hours towards study, and management aren't behind that. Also, they sponsor a degree in SW but not a post-grad qualification which is what I would have gone for.

That is very disappointing for a woman with your position and skills.

Can you take on a senior member of the role? So that should place you in a higher band. In my team we have case workers (unqualified SW) but we do have a few senior case workers who lead small sections of the team.

Depending on where you are could you train as a practice teacher - I know in Scotland you don’t need to be a qualified SW to do practice teaching and that might open doors for you?

Thanks JellyCat, yes that's what I'd like to ultimately train as. But I've been told I'd have to be a qualified SW first, so lots of hoops to jump through.

I wouldn’t recommend ditching your hard earned career for pastures new.
From personal experience, I got to the top of my game, a very senior position, 23 years experience but due to unmanageable childcare costs had to leave my job.
I was completely floored professionally, my confidence was at the bottom of the bin and I knew it was the wrong move early on.
But no going back.
7 years on I have clawed my way back to where I was in my original job.
It’s such a relief.
My kids are older so I can give more, with a fraction of the child care costs now.
At the time of my decision to leave, I could see no way out, no other way.
I could have ridden it out actually, been totally skint for the first 4 years but at the time I did what I thought was best.
Could you increase your hours, afford ore childcare to be able to undergo further qualifications?
It would be such a shame to let it all go.

Hi crosser62,

Wow, you've done so well to get your senior position back, what a struggle you have had. I feel frustrated because, like you, I feel like I'm on the brink of leaving because I can't see a way forward, it seems so financially unviable to take that qualification! Thanks for your post though, it has made me stop and consider. I'm not qualified in the social care field but I do have a lot of knowledge, and it has taken me years to acquire. I do feel that if I left, I would literally be starting in something completely different. It is a tough call but perhaps the way forward is to try and find a way to stay there, xx

Could you study with the Open University?

www.open.ac.uk/courses/social-work

Could you change local authority? Ours sponsors post graduate ascws to do masters in sw and become qualified sw. You wont lose your top of band status so long as you have 'continued government service'.

Could you go full time if they are prepared to sponsor you if you are?

Will you consider going back full time for at least a few years when your youngest is a bit older?

Its part time that's the issue I think rather than anything else.

Can you think long term and save for a few years time when you have two in school/funded nursery.

If you are looking at social work I suspect funding may change again in the future as it generally tries to keep in line with nursing.

Alternatively OT courses - the placements are shorter I think?

Any career can be buggered if you remain pt

Can you afford childcare ?

• even if it means a small loss, it would be worth it in the long run if you can then get training towards a higher paid post

I suggest going full time in order to get your qualification funded. Tens of thousands of familys use full time childcare for the betterment of the whole family, and it wouldn't be forever. If you have a DH, can he look at reducing his hours temporarily?

*families

Full would fix the problem if you could get the qualification paid for. You would likely be given paid time off to study which would be a real advantage. I’m currently studying part time and working part time and I have small children and it’s really difficult to find time to study.

It was short sighted of me to give up so easily but I had a completely unsympathetic manager who refused to negotiate my hours of work, offered me zero alternatives and actually, had I sought HR advice I know I would have faired much better.
Years of infertility and loss left me thinking I would never have a child. Then by some miracle I had a baby, the thought of handing that baby over to a nursery and parting with double my monthly mortgage payments...money we just didn’t have was impossible.
I had waited for 10 years to have my baby. All I cared about was being with my child, not about my job/career/ future.
So I jumped and was pushed off the edge of that mountain.

It dawned on me the gravity of what I had given up when grappling with a brand new role in a brand new company because I was utterly shite at it, I had been awesome, top dog, did my very complex and rewarding job with my eyes shut.
Made a huge difference and got shit done.
To being nothing and no one, the new girl who didn’t have a clue.
Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do..EVER.
It’s good to be back where I know what I’m doing.