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Mother-in-law talks bad about about other daughter in law.but sucks up her ar*se and treats everyone else differently when around her

9 replies

Mummywa · 16/02/2020 11:01

Hiya I'm having some family issues atm with my mother-in-law and partners brothers girlfriend! I need some help on how to deal with this situation...as I'm already having a bad time with my mental health this issue is not helping.this has been going on for around 4/5years now we have tried sorting it out on many occasions but always goes back to the same old.
Basically I've been with my partner for 10years me and MIL used to be very close she played a big part in my life when my mum passed away and she was someone I could always speak to I looked to her as a mother figure... when my partners brother got with his gf around 6 years ago MIL spoke bad of her already as she was cheating on her baby dad with her son who shes now with,I didn't know her so I didn't judge...so this is when it all started MIL would speak down about her all the time, she went on to have a 2 children and 3 from previous relationship
I see myself as a very easy person to get on with I would have liked to be able to go out all together with children and have fun altogether as they are cousins, but she has very strange behaviour she secretly doesnt like me one minute shes nice the next shes looks her nose down on you...she always trys to use the excuse I treat the children from previous relationship different but I really do not. Without sounded bigheaded on social media anything I put she will copy it's the most pettys thing. she doesnt like me but trys doing everything I do which I dont get and between her and MIL I see all the sly things they put on the social media
Now moving on to the MIL she basically speaks bad about her all the time saying shes evil and twisted and wish her son would see sence but yet treats everyone else differently even her blood daughters because off her and treats her the best?! So confusing
For example social media she always posted and celebrated the births of her grand children but when I had my 2nd child she didn't because she obviously didn't want to upset her because she jealous like that and cant be happy for anyone!
MIL doesn't admit to anything even though she says shes a person how say it as it is but she doesnt, shes treating everyone like sh*t for a person she slags off all the time my children are being pushed and out and obviously not a priority as the others which I dint understand my first child she was the best grandma I could have wished my children to have it's like she treats my 2nd children differently to not upset other daughter-in-law.
We are all ment to go to MIL on a Thursday but tbh I dont want to go anymore and I also dont want to take my children to be around the negativey and toxicness of it all am I wrong MIL asts asif nothing wrong its but so too faced I also tagged Mother-in-law on social media of everything of children but I just want to stop should I?
Obviously me and my patner have had chats about in the past but I haven't spoken about it recently and it does really get to me is am truly honest but I know that's his mum and I know am to nice of a person to upset others I keep it to myself and it's not helping me.so time the only way I see out is leaving my partner which is not what I want but this situation is draining the life of me

OP posts:
TimeTravellersHat · 16/02/2020 11:15

You are ALLOWING this situation to "drain the life out of you".

Disengage from social media. Step back from being so involved with your MIL. If she is around then let her comments "wash over" you and don't concern yourself with what she says/does.

TheMustressMhor · 16/02/2020 11:20

If you stop using social media you will probably feel much better about all of this, OP.

You have the solution ready-made. Just stop using SM. Don't look at it and don't post anything on it.

BTW you can sweat on this site. You can write "arse" and "shit" without asterisks.

TheMustressMhor · 16/02/2020 11:21

^swear, not sweat.

TheMustressMhor · 16/02/2020 11:27

It is hard to stay friends with someone when you feel they treat you badly, though.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 11:56

I'd definitely step back from social media.

If you don't want to go round on Thursday, say you need some 'me time' or you've got a headache and ask your partner to go with the kids instead.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 16/02/2020 11:59

This all sounds very petty and immature, don't go this week if you don't want to, your partner can take the children. Use the time to step away from social media.

Mummywa · 16/02/2020 16:29

It's really is petty and immature I know,i just keep trying for my childrens sake but i dont agree on leave any child out its all or non.i dont want to turned to be the bad guy because I have stopped going their i just want to pull myself away but Im made to feel badxx

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 16/02/2020 17:10

It’s probably best if you step away from social media as it’s proving detrimental to your whole family’s happiness.
I would also start to keep away from some of these family get togethers, too.
That way, you won’t be subjected to so much negativity.

Herringbone31 · 16/02/2020 17:15

Stop social media. I came off Facebook. Best decision I ever made.

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