Ill on valentines - being made to feel guilty

[Overandoveragain100]

I started the beginning of the week with a sore throat - which I knew meant I would develop a cold shortly after (wat my body works!) By Friday I had a developed a full blown cold and cough and could barely talk!

Dh was working later (til 8) and was bringing a take away with him. DC stayed up until he was home, had food with us and then dh put them to bed.

By 9pm when they were in bed I had developed hot and cold sweats and was exhausted so was pretty much asleep. Needless to say nothing romantic happened that night.

Felt slightly better yesterday, dh was out all at football so me and DC on our own. When dc was in bed we put a film on and I tried to initiate things after missing out on valentines and got told that I had ruined everything, am boring and obviously don't find him attractive anymore. He ended up spending last night in the spare room.

Not sure if I should be angry for being made to feel guilty that I was ill, or if he is right and I am being selfish.

What a dick! You couldn't help being ill.

Is he always this childish and unsupportive??

I’m just surprised valentines even means that much to people. I honestly thought most people in the UK didn’t really care about it very much and that it was an American thing.

It was Valentines Day, nothing hugely important. You can’t help being ill, he was a dick.

Offs!

I'm sure you were ill deliberately!

And does it have to be a special 'day' for him to have sex?

Childish

It's a day on the calendar. He is being a dick.

Would he had rather you have sex with sweats ? Coughing all the way through? What a piece of work he is.

I wouldn't bother to initiate anything from now on. Tell him the way he rejected you was horrible.

You were poorly when you turned it down, he was being a dick when he turned you down.

Well he’s a massive knob isn’t he? You could do much better.

As pink once sang

It's just you and your hand tonight

Does he have form for this? Making your illness about him?

What a twat OP.
Hopefully you'll feel better soon.

Is he blind? Did he miss the fact that you were ill? It's usually quite easy to see when someone is poorly.

Or is he just a selfish arsehole who couldn't give a shit about whether you're well, because he prioritises getting his dick wet over everything else.

Petulant and huffy people are deeply unattractive.

... I tried to initiate things after missing out on valentines and got told that I had ruined everything, am boring and obviously don't find him attractive anymore. He ended up spending last night in the spare room.

Is he always such a drama queen?

"ruined everything"

Really depressing to read the threads on Aibu at the moment, where so many women are with selfish arseholes. There are many lovely men out there, you don’t need to be with a crap one.

I can't get over this big fuss about Valentine's Day - the whole thing has now got out of hand. The whole point of Valentine's Day was to send a card to someone you admired to let them know you fancied them - not cards, presents, flowers, dinner, etc. for someone who are already in a relationship with! Having said that, OP, you DH sounds very thoughtless and insensitive.

I agree with wineandroses1. It doesn’t have to be like this. If I had been ill on Friday my husband would have brought me a hot water bottle/blanket/painkillers, given me a completely platonic cuddle if I wanted one and respected it if I didn’t, gotten up with the children first in the morning and in all honesty probably cancelled any personal activity on next day so we could deal with children together. I would do exactly the same for him. Every day of the year. It’s about respecting and caring for your partner, appreciating your family needs...loving.