Lost my spark

[Lilyamna]

Sorry this is a bit depressing.

I used to be the sort of person who would get excited by a rainbow, try to catch snowflakes, make cakes just for fun and feel sleep was a waste of time.
I’ve recently had a really tough few years, aged 28-32 life got hard, though I’m now out the other side, a bit bruised but things are on the up again.

Now I recognise a change in myself. Everything is too much bother. I no longer get excited by the little things and if anything is extra effort it’s just not worth it. It’s like now I have been burned by life I have checked out a bit.
I don’t think I am depressed. Just jaded. It makes me sad and I wonder if I will get that spark back again, or if I have ‘grown up’ now and this is the reality of adult life kicking in.

Anyone else felt like this? Words of wisdom appreciated xx

Adulting is hard work. The ups and downs of life can really take its toll on your wellbeing and I found myself in a similar situation a year ago and it was like I was unable to experience joy, I was just a bit 'meh" about everything.
As cliche as this is. i made a New Years resolution, well it wasn't a new year, but for 365 days. I would find and write down just one thing to be either Happy about, Something that made me smile or something to be thankful for. And before I knew it. I was going out and finding these things for myself. It has undoubtably been the best year of my life. Small changes in the way you see the world can have a massive impact.

@Straycatstrut

Oh my god you poor thing. I can see how going through something like that can bring even the strongest of people to their knees.
People that judge you are probably the same people that share "mental health awareness" post on Facebook but then snigger at other peoples misfortune, But you should never judge anyone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
I know I don't know you, but I hope that one day you will be able to see the sun through the clouds and things get easier for you. Do you have anyone in real life that can act as a shoulder to cry on. To support you and listen to you?

I don’t think it’s depression because it doesn’t seem serious enough somehow. It sounds exactly like depression to me! I know when I'm beginning to sink back into depression because I greet suggestions of a day out not as something to joyfully anticipate, but with "oh dear, that's a lot of problems to deal with".

No, it's not "adult life kicking in". And the spark will come back.

Even if you don't think it's depression, google self-help for depression and choose any ideas that you think you could manage. And when an opportunity arises to do something nice, but all you feel is "it's too much bother, say to yourself "that's the jadedness talking, it's not the real me" and see if you can make yourself do it anyway. My worst bout of depression I knew was on the turn when I found myself smiling with pleasure at the children sledging down a steep field - the first thing I'd positively enjoyed for months.