To confront friend or leave it?

[FeatheredThing]

I was very close friends with someone. Best friends even. We were in daily contact, whether it was text, phone or in person. About six months ago I stopped hearing from him. Every week or so I’d text him to ask if he was alright and also asked if I’d done something to upset him. He claimed I hadn’t. Months have gone by and I haven’t seen him. Any text I send is responded to with a brief answer with no real room for a conversation. I left it about a month and again asked if I’d upset him, to which he said no. Today I asked him if he’d like to come shopping with me (we used to do this a lot) and he replied that he was busy, but didn’t elaborate other than to say it was ‘fun when we used to do it.’ Erm..

A few years ago he made a comment that suggested he liked me more than a friend, which I brushed off as a joke and our friendship continued as usual. Maybe he was more serious than I thought? I’ve also had some health issues which maybe he was fed up of. I’m grasping at straws.

I’m a bit hurt by the whole thing. WIBU to tell him this and try to get to the bottom of it or should I just accept he doesn’t want to speak to me for whatever reason and give up quietly?

Just out of interest OP, what kind of shopping did you do with a man 30 years your senior? My dad is 30 years older than me and I can't imagine doing anything more than the groceries with him.

If he's 30 years older than you, he's probably finally outgrown you.

But as an aside, I can never understand why 'best friends' can't simply talk to each other honestly.

You should've asked him long ago what is problem is. He'd know more than Mumsnet.

I'd leave it, OP.

I had this with a friend a couple of years ago. They refused to discuss it / make more effort with me saying everything was fine but clearly backed off. For my own sanity, I stopped all contact and we haven’t spoken since.