To be upset that friend never contacts us when she's back ?

[Usemyname123]

We are all late 20s and childhood friends. Her parents live at the end of my road and we have 2 other friends in the area. Said friend is about 1.5 hours away up north.

She comes back once a month or every few weeks to visit her family, and she never asks if we want to meet up. Obviously her priority is spending time with her family, and she doesn't have to contact us every single time, but she can never even spare an hour for a quick drink with any of us.

Even a quick chat at the door seeing as I am on the same road !
We haven't seen her for 3 months now. She's chatty on Facebook etc and when you see her it's fine, she just rarely makes effort.

We always offer to go visit her up there but it never seems to materalise.
I know she has suffered from depression and has had therapy, maybe she is shutting people off which happens, but then we see pictures of her on nights out with other people back where she lives, at least every couple of weeks.

Not sure what to do really, sometimes she's very present and sometimes not, my other friends agree.

There could be lots of reasons for this. She's short on time when she visits, she's made new friends and prefers to spend more time with them or she feels anxious about catching up with you for some reason. I would concentrate on your other friends. Keep in contact via FB but other than that leave her be and see what happens.

Just let her be. If she wants to catch up she will contact you. Not everyone wants a full on social life. When she comes home perhaps she relishes the peace and quiet and wants to spend time with family not trying to socialise.

Yeah you're right, probably the best thing to do just focus on others !
Tbh I remember once she was back for a few days, she told me she was going back home on the Thursday so couldn't meet, then I saw her car was still there on the Friday. Maybe wasn't deliberate but just seemed a little suspicious.

That's true maybe she does, like I said she's entitled to that it's just that she never contacts us ever, yet seems to go out often with other people back home. It feels like she doesn't want to make the time for us and doesn't invite us up north where she clearly does have a social life.

Not everyone wants to stay friends forever. People move on

That's definitely true, it's just confusing because she messages us on Facebook and such (of her own accord) when she could just not bother.

I lived away from my parents and hated the pressure to catch up with everyone when I was home...we were often only visiting for a night or two and I used to get so stressed..I also felt rude like I was treating my parents house like a hotel.

Just ignore her, and let her be.

Wait until she asks you to meet up. Then up to you to decide if you want to.

Going back to mum and dad’s can be a blessed break from all the demands of a busy life. I’m not a huge socialiser and most of it is because I have enough people time from being at work etc.

Perhaps she just wants some quiet time?