Supervisor out of order for what she said to me

[fullofmelons]

I have recently started working for a company and when it got to the interview stage, questions were mainly focused around my childcare arrangements as they asked me if I had children and I said yes I have 1, and what would I do if he is unwell or cannot go nursery etc. or if I am needed in emergencies.. the job I do would NOT become an emergency.. seriously. I was taken aback and thought there's no way I'd get the job.. well thankfully I did get the job as I never thought in a million years they'd consider me after the interview. However at the time when they said what will I do if they need me to stay for longer or work extra days, I said at my interview that my husband has an option to work from home which he was able to if he had the option, but that has changed and he can no longer do that and has to go to his place of work.

One day I wasn't able to go in because my DS was unwell. I went back the next day after making arrangements for childcare and the supervisor basically made me out to be a liar and said I mentioned that my DH works from home so surely he could've stayed with DS and I wouldn't need to take time off. I explained he did at the time, circumstances have changed and he is no longer able to.. also I don't see how that's relevant to my job? And what you are also implying is that you only took me on because I said I had back up childcare if required, even if my DS is poorly and needs his Mum? I also mentioned that what you are implying is discrimination because I've got a child. She defended herself and said that's not what she saying at all... I might be in the wrong here but is that not a bit cheeky?!

They’re not even meant to ask if you have kids in the interview! Are you in a union?

I didn’t think it was legal to ask such questions at interviews in the first place.

No I'm not sparkles but I am thinking of joining one after what I've had to deal with recently to cover my back

I think you definitely should if you can, they can provide advice and support you. Have you also got an HR you can speak to about the questions at interview and the hostile treatment you received when your child was ill?

It's not discrimination.
I suspect they are just a bit concerned if you have just started and indicated covering and OT would not be an issue that you have taken time off.

@cabbageking it is discrimination to ask a woman at a job interview if she has kids (or wants them)

It's not discrimination.
I think you'll find it is - unless they are also asking all male interviewees the same questions about childcare and cover. And I bet they're not.

I can't say I blame them for being a bit miffed if you're new to the job and already taken a day off for childcare. Yes, they shouldn't have spoken their concerns out loud at the interview (bang out of order) but perhaps they've had experience of being let down. Is it so unreasonable of them to expect the father to be the emergency carer and not you?

"when it got to the interview stage, questions were mainly focused around my childcare arrangements as they asked me if I had children"

Not allowed

Yes, do join a union, as it sounds like you might need one
However, check first what the union rep think of being asked about childcare, because some unions are still not very helpful for women.

What's the job OP?

I wish things would change and the workplace would recognise that parents and children want to be together when a child's ill the same as we do extra at work during peak times to get the work done. It's so out of date.
The fact they asked you these questions at an interview shows their priorities and I would guess this isn't going to change soon.
I've called in once to be with my sick child and my manager didn't even ask how serious it was, just said 'but you have a contract with me'. I nearly laughed and said 'I have more than a contract with my daughter you fool'

She is complaining about how they spoke to her about her child care provision when on the job. This is not discrimination.
While the interview process may be contentious she took the job regardless. There are issues on both sides but you can't complain about something you have said is not an issue and then not expect to be questioned on it. The supervisor speaking to her about attendance for what ever reason is not discrimination.

Accusing her of lying in the interview when they asked her about her children in the interview is discrimination.

@cabbageking parents cant control their kids getting sick. Sometimes they need to take time off for it, it’s the reality of running a business. Sometimes your partner steps in, sometimes it’s not possible. It’s not appropriate to grill parents when this happens and accuse them of lying about childcare arrangements.

Asking about childcare in an interview is discrimination unless they ask all interviewees this regardless of age or sex - which I very much doubt.

Expecting everyone's personal circumstances to remain the same for ever is also stupid, people split up, peoples partners are ill, or away with work, or caring for elderly relatives and can't look after a sick child as well, or anything.

All employees will someday need some emergency time off for some family type emergency at some point. Unless it becomes a habit (eg taking a week off every few months to care for a dying aunt) companies are unwise to make an issue of it, as people will just lie, and then leave, or at the very least be unwilling to put more than the basic 9-5 into it

You advised you had childcare cover and then you don't. I don't see that is out of order for them to reiterate what you advised. You have only recently started and already you have taken time off. Why couldn't your husband have taken time off?

It’s definitely not allowed to ask about children in interviews. Circumstances change, if they wanted someone who would never be off with sick children they shouldn’t have taken you on (and that’s why it’s discrimination as they will take a decision based on things like a man might not be off for childcare, which is not true. I’d expect a husband to take shared amount of time, but in my work if kids are sick the parents use a days holiday and that’s that, just the way it is. I’m a parent so would never ever judge my staff for wanting to be with their sick child (or needing to be), as I’ve been there.

I had to take 5wks of in / out / half days / coming in during the evening when my 2 children got Ecoli so we’re excluded in public health grounds. I’d only just started in that department too. Luckily my Childress (and hated children) boss was very good about it

I would call ACAS and speak to someone for advice. This boss is really out of order.

Also check your house insurance (or bank account or union or ???) to see if you have legal cover included - you should be able to access quick free advice if you do.