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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Seriously who takes babies to the theatre?!

156 replies

EL8888 · 15/02/2020 19:05

Went to the theatre last night, 2 babies and their mothers were there. Cue a fair amount of noise throughout. It’s not a mother and baby group?!! People are trying to enjoy and concentrate. Don’t worry l checked and it wasn’t a “baby / children showing” or something like that. Some people are so self absorbed and entitled

I probably shouldn’t write this in AIBU. Because l really don’t think l am! My partner and the woman sat next to me who l don’t know were unhappy as well 😡

OP posts:
PenelopeFlintstone · 15/02/2020 23:43

The same ones who take them on long haul flights because they want an overseas holiday instead of Cornwall. Selfish.

Bouledeneige · 15/02/2020 23:46

I was irritated by couples talking loudly all through the trailers at the cinema - its happened both times I've been in the last month. Really loud and laughing loudly etc.

Babies at the theatre? just no.

OrangeCinnamon · 15/02/2020 23:47

Actually I've had a panto performance ruined for my whole family by screaming babies ...It ruined it for the kids it seemed like every other seat had an upset baby in it. So yanbu

Amanduh · 15/02/2020 23:55

Screaming babies shouldnt be at any theatre shows. Including pantomimes!!

Cherrysoup · 15/02/2020 23:59

That's nowt - went to a local, expensive restaurant last night for Valentine's Day and a couple had brought their very vocal toddler in a massive buggy. Our table was from 9pm and they were still there. Everyone else had paid for an effing babysitter to get away from our kids for the evening only to be confronted with someone else's.. should've been turned away imo but I guess restaurants don't want to turn down trade

Oh god, wonder if that was the entitled madam from the other day who insisted she was taking her child out on Valentine’s Day? Just bloody painful!

SallySun123 · 16/02/2020 00:06

I’ve never ever seen anyone take a baby to an evening’s theatre performance. You need to speak to the theatre and question their policy on this.

Ouchaheadinmybehind · 16/02/2020 00:09

I once complained about an Alzheimer’s patient singing along loudly

Well aren’t you delightful?

Divebar · 16/02/2020 00:12

I think even at kids films you should be prepared to remove your children if they're disruptive. I took my DD7 to see the new Frozen film when it first came out and had the experience ruined by two toddlers of about two yacking and running around the row in front of the seats where we were sat. Why does my DD deserve to have her treat ruined because some dick parents can't be arsed to take their bored children out? The cheap performances they often do ( in our case £2.50 a ticket) are different and I don't mind a bit of disruption. As for the theatre most families are paying decent amounts of money for a special treat so it's particularly galling. Mind you it's not always little kids... I took my friend to the Royal Opera House for her birthday and she was seated next to a teenage boy listening to music aloud on his phone...but hey those seats were only £110 each and presumably he'd been raised to think his needs superseded everybody elses. Please don't be that parent.

Aureum · 16/02/2020 00:12

I once complained about an Alzheimer’s patient singing along loudly
Well aren’t you delightful?
See what I mean? When it’s a baby making a noise everyone is up in arms. But if it’s an elderly person making just as much noise then apparently you’re just supposed to put up with it. And of course the mum is selfish for bringing a noisy baby to the theatre but the daughter isn’t selfish for bringing a noisy parent. Double standards!

TeensArghhhh · 16/02/2020 00:30

Aureum.... A person with Alzheimer’s singing along to something he recognises from his younger years is a hugely different scenario to some numbskull taking their baby along to a public performance. The baby will gain nothing from the experience. The Alzheimer’s patient will get a great deal of pleasure. Maybe you will be unlucky enough to take your parents, as persons with Alzheimer’s one day. Then you will realize the difference.

Brookeborn · 16/02/2020 00:34

Have taken mine to the theatre religiously since age 2. Appreciate this is not a 'baby' and I have been lucky, knowing character and that she would behave. Always been more offended by some of of the adult's behaviour than any other kids tbh. Maybe it is just luck!

Isn't this part of the thing that oppresses us as women? Fair enough if Mum is adamant she is not going to take a walk in the corridor when things are reaaalllly bad. That's a bit selfish. But if it's just a few baby cries, in a theatre of all places, isn't it a lovely reminder of our being? Raising our young? Or should this be a debate about how frigging expensive it is to go to the theatre these days and therefore our backs are up immediately when our money is being interrupted?

Think I've rambled here. Just remember how penned to the house I felt with a newborn and would have longed to have the confidence to just get on with it!

I do worry that we are ostracising our female community even more (given that, we are the ones who will have to inevitably give our mates the ticket as people get pissed off at a newborn crying, during a vulnerable time, that is often the loneliest).

All based on context I guess, but think what we lack often here is a 'village' sense of child-rearing. We all have kids, I guess I am wondering when these ideas changed? This doesn't exist in many cultures, is it stress? Saving for a break? The fact that we don't have barely any 'me' time to cling to? Genuinely interested to hear opinions...

Aureum · 16/02/2020 00:40

Maybe you will be unlucky enough to take your parents, as persons with Alzheimer’s one day
And I suppose I’m Mystic fucking Meg and I know that a complete stranger five rows away in the pitch dark has a mental disability? I just requested that the usher deal with whoever was making the noise, which is entirely reasonable.

And no, I wouldn’t take my parents to the theatre and ruin it for the other 1500 people who’ve paid a lot of money to attend. I’m not that selfish or entitled. Noise is noise, regardless of whether it’s a baby or someone else. They have relaxed performances to accommodate people who can’t help making noise.

Aderyn19 · 16/02/2020 00:42

I've had 4 DC and I still think it's selfish to take babies to cinemas/theatres. The 'village' didn't choose to have my children - DH and I did and it's our responsibility to raise them. Sometimes, as a parent, you can't do exactly what you want because that's not always best for your child and it pissed other people off.

TeensArghhhh · 16/02/2020 00:50

Aureum There is no way of knowing whether a person with Alzheimer’s will “sing along”. If they do what’s the problem?

You know damn well that a baby is likely to cause a disturbance. Hence why parents tend to get a babysitter before they head off to the theatre.

You have a great deal deal to learn about life...

DdraigGoch · 16/02/2020 00:52

@Brookeborn try employing a babysitter like everyone else does.

Divebar · 16/02/2020 00:56

But if it's just a few baby cries, in a theatre of all places, isn't it a lovely reminder of our being? Raising our young?

I can certainly recall a time being in hospital with my dad who was dying and hearing a baby crying and taking comfort in that. Taking babies and young children to the theatre though is in no way life affirming for me and I dare say for the large majority of the audience who are perhaps wishing to lose themselves in the performance. If you’re a new parent and feel isolated I can think of far better places for you to go to connect with other people where you can actually talk ( you know....to family & friends rather than randoms) - a beach, a church, an art gallery ( which I feel do not need to be silent places) a park rather than the theatre environment which hardly invites audience interaction in the most part.It’s not about being unfriendly or disliking children - not every experience in life Is suitable for them to join and that’s ok.

lalafafa · 16/02/2020 01:14

I was at my nephews graduation and there was a PHD student with her partner and very young baby. The baby cried the whole 2 hours. So selfish.

Brookeborn · 16/02/2020 01:15

That wasn't my point. I didn't have the courage to take my child many places until I knew she wasn't going to interrupt anyone at all. I wasn't for a moment suggesting that she is a joint enterprise between DH, myself, and an ideological village. The point was that I personally would not feel offended by hearing a small baby cry for food or comfort (which is more often than not the reason - depending on how small we are talking - if they are five and being shits then I am annoyed.)

I suppose I was thinking given the news tonight of a vulnerable woman killing herself and the judgement she received via the media, or perhaps - all the threads we see on here with women feeling less than nothing, that it's a bit wank that we daren't step into a theatre whilst we are feeding our child in case we are criticised for it when they dare make a noise. Just sometimes wonder if we are so far removed from our reality as mammals that's all.

I don't need a babysitter. But thanks anyway. Go sisterhood.

LightDrizzle · 16/02/2020 01:15

Why would I wanted to be intrusively reminded of raising our young in the middle of watching Peer Gynt?

LightDrizzle · 16/02/2020 01:25

Brookeborn, it’s a theatre, you only end up there on purpose and usually after paying for a ticket. It’s not massively impacting on women’s ability to feed their young, or marginalising the women themselves, to say it’s not a place for babies. The baby certainly isn’t getting anything out if it.
Can you explain your mammals bit? Are you saying that as mammals, we deny our essence by not suckling our young...in the theatre?
You aren’t Cressida by any chance are you?

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/02/2020 01:28

Oh FFS...."I am not being selfish, I am refusing to be oppressed as a woman"

Heard it all now, and I say that as a card carrying Fuck You Feminist.

Aureum · 16/02/2020 01:31

There is no way of knowing whether a person with Alzheimer’s will “sing along”. If they do what’s the problem?
People aren’t supposed to sing along in the theatre! And generally if you do they boot you out.

OrangeCinnamon · 16/02/2020 01:32

Confused in my experience Dads with babys were letting them cry and scream too. I have no idea if a mother was around or not..the situation OP describes could have been male

SD1978 · 16/02/2020 01:53

Because their enjoyment takes precedence over everyone else's. they have the right to enjoy life at the detriment to everyone else because they can. I'd the theatre admits younger children to shows, there is nothing that can be done. People dont give a crap about others, and if the venue also doesn't, then there is nothing you can do.

MissGuernsey · 16/02/2020 02:09

That's nowt - went to a local, expensive restaurant last night for Valentine's Day and a couple had brought their very vocal toddler in a massive buggy. Our table was from 9pm and they were still there. Everyone else had paid for an effing babysitter to get away from our kids for the evening only to be confronted with someone else's.. should've been turned away imo but I guess restaurants don't want to turn down trade

A vocal toddler? Revolting. I would have said something to the parents. Or walked past and tipped water on the baby!

Last night I was in Tesco. As I was selecting a pint of milk a little fucker aged around seven ploughed into me on roller skates!. No apology from the parents. They smiled indulgently. I managed to flick his ear before his parents saw. How he howled!