To wonder when the miserable age will end?

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DS is almost 2.5. He's fiercely independent but will only tolerate and enjoy my company or DH's.

He goes to nursery a few days a week. He doesn't even look back to see if I'm there or not. So he isn't attached in that sense. But he won't waste his time with anyone else and spends the whole time doing his own thing. Moans about other kids joining him.

We have come away for a family wedding and he gets absolutely livid if people try talking to him, or just stares.

He has had quite a few meltdowns since being here and calms down straight away if he's in the hotel room in peace.

He doesn't like kids noises and prefers to sit away from it all, watching, or toddling around on his own with no interruptions.

He's always been easy to parent because as. I say he doesn't demand attention and prefers peace.

I'm starting to wonder when this will all end. He just hates other people's company. But he's so happy with just me and DH.

I can see the irritation on his face when other kids approach him

What are his language skills like?

Did you mention it to the health visitor at his 2yr check? What does nursery say?

Speak to your HV. He may need assessment for things like autism if he isn't interacting properly with others.

Yeah, Autistic Spectrum Disorder is my initial thought too.

Mention your concerns about his lack of interaction and his reaction to someone trying to interact with him to both his nursery and your HV.

They will take your concerns seriously, and hopefully either reassure you that some of your concerns are nothing to worry about or begin the process of observation and testing if they see the same issues.

He doesn't speak. Doesn't really seem interested in speaking.

He is currently under investigation for things like ASD, we are just waiting for our appointment. He goes to speach and language therapy too, doing well but not speaking for us yet.

However, this seems more of a personality trait with regards to disliking people

No advice but I'm interested in this as DS is similar in some ways. He's much younger (13 months) and has been at nursery full time since 8 months. We always get the same observations from the various staff at nursery that he's very attached and happy with his key worker, but won't entertain anyone else whatsoever and gets quite upset when she isn't there. He's perfectly happy at home with DH and I, but becomes very quiet and unhappy if we have company of any kind, including when any of his grandparents visit despite the fact he's seen them all regularly since being a newborn. He babbles a bit, but again only at home and very occasionally when he has one-on-one time with his key worker at nursery, he's absolutely mute otherwise. How long have you noticed these behaviours in your DS OP?

rottie That sounds like my DS. We noticed differences from about 11/12 months

Hi OP,
It sounds like the ASD pathway is the way forward - hopefully it won't take too long and will help you support his needs. It sounds like he has an acute sensitivity to sounds so he may well have some specific sensory processing issues too - you should ask for an occupational therapist referral as part of the autism assessment and take a look at sensory processing disorder as there's lots of info online.
My DS is autistic with severe speech delay and while he doesn't mind loud sounds as such there are some environments he really struggles in (school hall acoustics are esp tricky) and he can't follow conversations where there's a group of people - and he largely will ignore groups of children, even at school. He builds relationships very much on a 1:1 level. A wedding in a big place with lots of people just wouldn't work for him, he'd be very stressed.
Are there any children at all your DS does interact with at nursery? Or does he have siblings / family friends with just one or two children that you see? May be worth exploring 1:1 play dates and seeing how he gets on in the familiar home environment.

Thanks hale

He sees lots of children at nursery and ignored every single one of them. Which is such a shame because lots have expressed a lot of interest in being his friend, with a few little boys asking why he won't talk to them

He also sees his cousins of a similar age regularly and blanks them all, 1 on 1 or not. He just doesn't like them

If you remove all children from the situation then he is very content to be with the adults and will come out of his shell more/liven up providing he's the only DC

It’s not always down to ASD he could just be more introverted and not enjoy large groups and lots of fuss.