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Original poster

Would this upset you or am I being over sensitive ?

26 replies

Chops2017 · 14/02/2020 17:46

How would you feel if someone said this to you " I would offer you my slimming world shakes but they taste awful " said by ex's mum we hadn't even mentioned slimming world or diets it was said out of the blue and then when I said no thankyou she said " oh I wasn't offering them because I think your fat I know you like to diet " for context I don't like to diet, I'm 2 stone over weight but felt hurt and uncomfortable about it, I wasn't quick enough to ask her if she was offering them to ex's wives who are very slim xx

OP posts:
Brazi103 · 14/02/2020 17:49

I think she blurted out what she was thinking. she did try to explain it away so maybe it really was a slip of the tongue rather than intentionally malicious.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2020 17:49

If she thinks you like to diet but you don't, there's obviously miscommunication there.

Did you not say, "Me? No, what gave you that idea?"

Original poster
Chops2017 · 14/02/2020 17:52

No I just said no thankyou, ex fil had made a comment about my weight before this and I spoke to her about it so she knows I'm insecure over it, I don't think it was slip of the tongue she's put me down before xx

OP posts:
maddy68 · 14/02/2020 17:52

Oversensitive. You must have mentioned weight in the past and she clearly has been on the diet. It was just conversation

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2020 17:57

If you don't think it was a slip of the tongue and she's put you down before, I'm not sure what you're asking here?

If someone is deliberately putting you down, it's not over sensitive to get upset or annoyed.

From what you've written though, I think it was miscommunication and she thought you like to diet even though you don't.

Dozer · 14/02/2020 17:58

She thinks you’re overweight, and was rude!

Original poster
Chops2017 · 14/02/2020 17:58

I've never mentioned diet to her, I never had an issue with my weight before DC xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Chops2017 · 14/02/2020 17:59

Dozer that's exactly how I took it! Xx

OP posts:
Delbelleber · 14/02/2020 18:00
Flowers
Babyfg · 14/02/2020 18:01

If it was a one off I wouldn't be offended. She had the drinks and was going to offer you one (like if she said it about a different drink) but then realised it might have come across the wrong way and back pedalled.

If she is making lots of back handed comments then it's a dig

Somanysocks · 14/02/2020 18:07

You should have said 'thanks but your need is greater than mine'.

headlicehelp · 14/02/2020 18:09

If she's regularly rude to you then just stop speaking to her. You don't need to now.

Creweneck · 14/02/2020 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helpfulperson · 14/02/2020 18:15

Hmm, I think you are being oversensitive but can sympathise that it would give you a 'WTF' moment. I would liken it to someone saying to an alcoholic 'glass of wine?' without really thinking.

blablablablablablabla · 15/02/2020 00:09

How many wives does your ex have?

blablablablablablabla · 15/02/2020 00:11

FWIW I think she just wanted to start a conversation about slimming world (as so many people on these diet plans do) with someone she thought was 'into' dieting.

PlanetSlattern · 15/02/2020 01:20

Who "likes to diet"? Confused What a completely weird idea.

I agree with @creweneck, she probably thinks you need to lose weight, emptied her brain out through her mouth, then felt embarrassed and tried to make amends.

I'd be offended, but only because I need to lose weight myself and it would piss me off to hear it.

Original poster
Chops2017 · 15/02/2020 02:41

Oops I meant ex's brothers wives xx

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 15/02/2020 02:49

Not sure I could get too upset about it OP, if it was rude it seems like she didn't want it to be. Hardly a wild leap to assume someone who is insecure about their weight or who is overweight- might have dieted or be interested in it. It's not like she told you needed them or should start taking them. Seems like she just put her foot in her mouth.

Lalala205 · 15/02/2020 02:56

I don't really understand the context tbh? This is your ex's mum and she mentioned it to you? But she mentioned it to 'we', which is who? She said it to just you, or to you and your ex? And you know she hadn't mentioned it to your ex's BILs ex partners who are slim? But had they told you this? I'm sorry, but I just find the whole conversation very confusing 😕 - tbf if it was a 1:1 conversation between you and herself then it's a bit unwarranted yes, but potentially more crass than an intentional insult perhaps?

Lalala205 · 15/02/2020 03:02

Oh! Re-read OP she said if to you as in you both hadn't mentioned you needing to diet? Yes, bit shitty but I'd just take it as her banging on about the despair of her own intake of diet shakes (miserable life), and possibly the projection of 'hmmm maybe she'd like to lose a lb or two?). Not great to hear no, but when people are on the weight loss' journey, they're normally bloody boring as fuck! And tend to transfer it to anyone who doesn't subscribe to a 7 day a week gym regime and eat some crazy diet.

redcarbluecar · 15/02/2020 03:08

Daft comment from her but I’d try to overlook it. She may be a bit obsessed with dieting and assume that other women share her preoccupations.
I have a friend who is always careful about offering me biscuits- ‘oh, are you eating biscuits at the moment?’ I’m overweight but rarely diet and have never mentioned giving up biscuits to her!

Lalala205 · 15/02/2020 03:09

I lost 76lbs through calorie counting and exercise. An ex colleague kept banging on about the benefits of low carb and offering me the opportunity to enlist in their friends £70pwk 'health programme' 😒 I must admit I took some pleasure from informing them the 5 'low sugar' sweets I'd watched them scoff in between their 7 boiled eggs, had pushed them out of ketosis for 3 days according to my online app 😂 They shut the fuck up after that. Nothing as crazy as a diet guru!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 15/02/2020 03:10

I would have said "no thanks, you need them more than me" but it would have stung inside. I would never let her know she'd got to me though.

goingtotown · 15/02/2020 03:37

Slimming World don’t do shakes. She probably means SlimFast. Ignore her.

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