in ending my relationship?

[ims0rrydarlin]

Just a bit of background;

DP and I are both in our early 30s. We’re engaged to be married. He lives 120 miles from me. We’re both Asian & Muslim.

His Dad doesn’t approve of me. His reasoning is I’m not attractive, I’m fat and I don’t wear a headscarf.

I’ve posted about this before, about a month ago and my partner and I had decided he would give it a few weeks and speak to his Dad again. His Dad has flat out refused to accept me and has basically said it’s either them or me. If we get married, my partner will be disowned.

He’s been married before but got divorced a few years ago. It was an arranged marriage and his dad wants to arrange his second marriage also.

I don’t have a mum to discuss this with, and I have kinda confided in with my friend about this, but just wanted to get it off my chest and maybe gain some advice.

How much do you want children and how much will he stand up to his dad? If his dad isn’t managed properly then he will be making waves for the rest of his life / rest of your relationship

I definitely would not feed into the headscarf thing if you don’t want to

If a woman came on here and said her DH had been controlling and manipulating her for years and she didn't know what to do, ppl would say she should have left her years and as she didn't its her fault.
Its the same for many Kids who have been controlled and manipulated and made to feel powerless from an early age. Saying him not standing up to his father is a sign is a sign he doesn't love you enough is absolute BS.
This person is a victim, just cause he is a man doesn't make it any less so.
You may not want to push him away from his family but it seems to me he will never be happy with them running his life ( and thats what they will do). You both need to forget about his blessings and do whats best for you both and remove yourselves from this toxic situation.
Alternatively you may think that the stress is just not worth it and you could leave him to it. That's also a perfectly plausible route to take to protect yourself.