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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Car door open, child in car AIBU?

26 replies

GrannyBags · 14/02/2020 12:22

Walking to work this morning and saw a man get out of his car, leaving the door slightly open and run into his house. As I got closer (long road and uphill) I realised that there was a baby in a car seat on the front seat and the car engine was running. The man was in the a house for at least a couple of minutes. As I walked past he was still in the house, so I kept turning back after I had gone past and saw him locking the house and going back to the car.
I thought this was a really silly thing to do as the car could have been stolen, another car could have crashed into it, the baby could have been taken etc, but when I got into work and mentioned it my (mainly male) colleagues think it was a normal thing to do. One suggested that it’s because I do the Risk Assessments that I’m paranoid. So what does the Mumsnet Hive mind think?

OP posts:

isabellerossignol · 14/02/2020 12:26

I think it was a bit silly and not something I would have done. But if you were to look at it realistically and calmly appraise the likelihood of something happening, it's very unlikely the baby would come to any harm.

I'd class it as a bit silly though, not as a major issue of child neglect.

user1471517900 · 14/02/2020 12:27

A car could crash into it regardless of the door being ajar or not so that seems fairly irrelevant. But yes, it could have been stolen (assume he figured he would be in there for a few seconds though)

OscarWildesCat · 14/02/2020 12:27

Can't get worked up over it tbh.

user1493413286 · 14/02/2020 12:33

I’m not sure I understand the point about a car crashing into but I wouldn’t leave keys in the ignition in case someone stole the car and/or baby. If I have to run into the house I lock my car with DD in it.

Gatehouse77 · 14/02/2020 12:36

Meh, I have done the same. It was a calculated risk based on the my knowledge of the area, etc.

LastTrainEast · 14/02/2020 12:42

I agree that another car hitting it doesn't count as that could happen anyway.
Car thieves are relatively common, but I don't believe an ordinary thief would steal a car with a baby in the front seat where they would see it. So that leaves someone looking to steal a child coming along in that 3 minutes.

Leaving them alone is always a risk even indoors, but sometimes you must .

Hingeandbracket · 14/02/2020 12:46

Not what I'd ever do, but people have to make their own choices. DD is 11 now so doesn't really apply.

TheGreatWave · 14/02/2020 12:48

Anyone leaving their keys in the ignition is asking for trouble. The baby in the car less of an issue.

HollyGoLoudly1 · 14/02/2020 12:49

I've done this. Car seat all set up then realised I've forgotten something so I've popped back in (car on driveway at the end of a very quiet cul-de-sac). I've never left the car running but I wouldn't get worked up about this.

Heymacarana · 14/02/2020 12:51

Not seeing an issue at all to be honest.

Nothing happened, so his assessment of risk was spot on. Bloke clearly just forgot something and rushed back into the house to get it, possibly left door slightly open to stop the car auto locking (which mine would have done)

RedSheep73 · 14/02/2020 12:51

Definitely wrong, wrong to keve baby where you can't see it and wrong to leave engine running. I probably have left baby strapped in while nipping back in for something I forgot but always with engine off and door locked.

Who are these people who have separate key rings for their car and front door keys anyway?

mencken · 14/02/2020 12:51

leaving a baby in a car with the engine running can mean the thief either doesn't bother or dumps the car quickly, because it turns from theft to abduction.

of course he could just turn the engine off and take the keys, even cars as old as mine will restart after a short stop.

Heymacarana · 14/02/2020 12:54

Who are these people who have separate key rings for their car and front door keys anyway?

Maybe there was still someone home so the door wasn’t locked?

Maybe he never locks the house (I don’t even have a key for mine)

Heymacarana · 14/02/2020 13:01

Also perfectly feasible these days that the cat didn’t have a key in it, and that the fob was in his pocket so a thief couldn’t have gone more than a few yards down the road anyway

safariboot · 14/02/2020 13:07

YANBU.

It came up on the radio the other week actually. A mum regularly left her older DC in the car while dropping the younger at nursery. She was then advised by the police that it's illegal and not to do that.

sirfredfredgeorge · 14/02/2020 13:13

Who are these people who have separate key rings for their car and front door keys anyway?

People who don't drive everywhere, so most of the time there's no need to carry car keys around with them!

Nowayorhighway · 14/02/2020 13:13

I have done this but I wouldn’t leave the car idling.

Gatehouse77 · 14/02/2020 16:25

Who are these people who have separate key rings for their car and front door keys anyway?

Me! So I won't lose everything in one go.

leiaskye · 14/02/2020 17:19

I have separate rings for car & house.

You lose one, you’ve lost them all!

I have also done what your saw this guy doing. Although on the drive. I’m always late, so having to unstrap baby, etc before rushing in the house would have taken a lot longer, made me even later.

Tiny risk, imo.

leiaskye · 14/02/2020 17:19

@Gatehouse77

Great minds 😀

isabellerossignol · 14/02/2020 17:24

Who are these people who have separate key rings for their car and front door keys anyway?

Me. I thought having them separate was pretty normal. I hate big jangly bundles of keys. I have separate key rings for everything.

CherryPavlova · 14/02/2020 17:27

I’m sure he just forgot something. The number of babies abducted from outside your house in U.K. must be what? Zero at a guess.

Idling the car is bad for the environment though.

TheGreatWave · 14/02/2020 17:28

Who are these people who have separate key rings for their car and front door keys anyway?

Me too. DH and I drive both cars, I have multiple keys on my house ones as well.

kierenthecommunity · 14/02/2020 17:30

I’d be more worried about car theft than random cars crashing into a parked vehicle, but admittedly you’d be very unlucky if a car thief walked past in that two minute window

YABU however for using the phrase ‘hive mind’

ShyTown · 14/02/2020 17:38

Who are these people who have separate key rings for their car and front door keys anyway?
Me. The car key is on its own because I have a Nest lock for my front door.

Car jackings aren’t unheard of where I live so I’d never do this. There was one recently where the thieves completed the school run for the child before making off with the car. Quiet U.K. village is probably ok though although I think turning off the engine and locking the car would have been better.

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