To think some psychiatrists are not very understanding

[User202029]

When it comes to certain conditions. So as not to drip feed. I will explain the situation without being too outing. I suffer from chronic suicidal thoughts and have made attempts in the past. I was diagnosed with depression at 16 had a period of stability then ended up under adult mental health services at 20. They then diagnosed me with “traits of eupd” which I don’t even think is technically a diagnosis if a person doesn’t meet the criteria for a diagnoses of the disorder rather than traits. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety. In this area these a service which offers therapy for people with personality disorders and this is currently the only thing being offered with a huge waiting lists despite the fact I’m not formally diagnosed with this condition. They are saying these no point attempting to refer me to cmht psychology department as they say it will be rejected even though I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The psychiatrist last week told me and I quote “I don’t really know what to do with you and I can’t help you”. I guess this is code word for we will discharge you soon. I’m also not taken seriously when I say I have thoughts to harm myself and it’s basically implied that I won’t do it etc. Even thought I’ve never been open with them before about this the one time I did I was dismissed.

Firstly, to you for your condition(s) and hope you're coping ok each day.

I have extensive experience as a patient in mental health services for depression, and latterly addiction.

My word, everything you say rings true and YANBU.

NHS mental health provision is excellent compared to most countries in terms of coverage. What it clearly lacks however are nuanced, considered psychologists who look at a person as a whole and not as a person to take through various tick boxes and stages.

They are great (so to speak) with both extreme ends of the scale. So when people who come in with physical self-harm, or acute mental health, you can be placed into a facility and monitored monthly by the ward psychaitrist. Conversely if you're suffering from depression and see your GP, you can get onto a CBT course and get meds .

However for someone like yourself with a more nuanced and considered set of challenges, they struggle to know which box to funnel you off to. It's horrible as a patient because you get told different things every time, you get exasperated psychologists saying "I can't see what's wrong". Actually, that doesn't mean there's nothing wrong - it means they can't see which box you fit in.

Sympathies to you OP - my advice is to keep at it, keep trying until you find the right person who can unlock some sort of diagnosis or treatment for you. There are ways of self-referring to other services, ask your GP or local NHS trust.

And of course if the worst, and you feel dreadful, go straight to A&E please, don't bear the burden alone.

OP, I am so sorry you also suffer with these conditions that I do too regarding the thoughts.

I actually found I have had very very similar situations to you too. The lines of "what do you want me to do" or "how do you think you can help yourself" I always find hard to handle too.

I have been told I have "traits" of schizophrenia and usually take anti-psychosis meds and so feel similar to you that whilst it isnt a proper diagnosis I am not receiving all the care I might possibly be able to.

I've no useful advice at all though, sorry. I just guess I wanted to say you are not alone in finding this.

If you have symptoms similar to EUPD then you'd likely find the EUPD groups helpful. Waitng lists are long for most MH services.

They are great (so to speak) with both extreme ends of the scale. So when people who come in with physical self-harm, or acute mental health, you can be placed into a facility and monitored monthly by the ward psychaitrist

This has not been my experience at all. What area are you living in Gin? (if you feel comfortable saying).

OP have they diagnosed you with traits of EUPD or have they noted that you have traits of EUPD?

Also I agree with people that waiting lists are massive. However this isn't helped with the fact that every ill in society gets attributed to mental health. We all get down or a bit depressed at times. We all get anxious at times. We all feel a bit hopeless at times. These are all parts of the human range of emotions. There are a lot of people who are unhappy with their lives. However people are so quick to rush to their GP and mental health services when they experience these feelings and there is such a risk averse culture that so many inappropriate referrals go into mental health services. Hence the really long waiting lists.

I think that there is very much a 'fix me, it's your responsibility' attitude in society. This has a massive knock on effect on services and agencies and then those who need help can't get it.

Anyway OP I'm not saying that's you because I don't know you. I was just kind of going off tangent in response to other replies on this post and other posts in general saying that there are massive waiting lists, that mental health services don't help etc.

Can I ask though, what have you done to help yourself? Have you taken up exercise, a routine, good sleep hygiene, change in diet etc? Self help books, websites...? If you let us know what you've tried then we can maybe make some suggestions?

Thank you for all replies. They really are lovely and thoughtful. It’s listed on the section of the letter with the diagnoses so it’s not just something that’s noted. I believe a lot of people would have symptoms of at least one personality disorder hence why you usually need a certain amount to be formal diagnosed. I’ve done a lot to help myself including reading self help books, starting up jogging and swimming and taking medication as prescribed. Sorry that some of you have also experienced similar it’s tough but I’m sure we will all get there in the end.

Are you able to self refer yourself to IAPT for the depression and anxiety? Might not have it where you are.

I could but they have basically told me I have no chance of getting anything else though I guess it’s worth a try

Well done on taking steps to help yourself. It'll take time before you notice changes but it will come. Re the self harm; the app 'Calm Harm' is good for when you are experiencing self harm urges and it's free. It has very good feedback.
All of us self harm in some way or another. Mine is getting home from a stressful day at work and cracking open a bottle of wine and having one or two glasses too many. That's a form of self harm and I really should utilise some better management skills to deal with my stress but hey ho.

Also in regards to the EUPD diagnostic criteria; many of us do meet one or two of the criteria. It's when a person meets more than is 'normal' within the general population, enough to cause problems, but not quite enough (5 out of 9) to meet the actual diagnosis threshold that you would be considered to have traits of EUPD.

I honestly feel I only can relate to two of them and that’s being 100% honest about my condition.