Should I change my engagement ring

[burntpinky]

Not really an AIBU, but more a question. DH and I now married with a DC. For my 40th (am now 41) he was going to get me an eternity ring (also to mark birth of our DC) but it looks a bit silly with my wedding ring (a half eternity with quite big diamonds) as it looks too much but also because the diamond in my engagement ring is quite small (no criticism there, just stating a fact as relevant to how the combo looks).

Have spoken to jeweller about making my endgame my ring into a halo so can keep original diamond given by DH but apparently it can’t be done.

So, do I get my engagement ring altered to have a bigger diamond and if so, what do I then do with the original diamond - I already have a necklace and don’t like jewellery on more than 1 hand?

Don’t want to upset/offend DH, he says he isn’t bothered, but I also feel like should just keep original engagement ring as is because he picked it out himself.

First world problems I know - just wanted to Mark 40th and DC birth with something I could keep/wear every day

I don't think a halo style will work at all - it won't sit nice and flush against your wedding ring.

And your wedding ring already looks like an eternity ring anyway so there's no point in having another one.

I’m looking to do the same thing.
I’ve got my engagement ring, my eternity ring and mil eternity ring.
I think you should consult with a goldsmith instead of a jeweler.

I’m going to wear it on my right hand.
On my left I have an eternity style wedding ring.

If you did want the engagement ring turning into a halo then would it work to have a corresponding recess scalloped out of the eternity ring so they compliment each other and sit well together?

I would try another independent master jeweller. I had my original diamond yellow gold engagement ring smelted down and completely remade into the platinum style my husband and I designed that suits me now and I love that It still has the sentimentality aspect of the original. It was cheaper than we thought it might be to do as well.

If you don't already have the eternity ring cant you get one that suits your engagement ring? smaller diamonds in the eternity ring would work surely?

I can't even fit my engagement ring on now! I wear it on the small finger of my other hand. I had an amethyst dress ring for my 40th which I wear with my wedding ring and everyone thinks it's my engagement ring. I also had a half band eternity for my 50th and I wear that on the third finger of my right hand next to the engagement ring.

Why not go for an eternity ring that actually complements your engagement ring? A slimmer band with a setting to match the shoulders of your engagement ring would be much better.

This is what I would do too

I wear my eternity ring on my right hand

I really like the trilogy idea, you could get a coloured stone for the middle and your original and new one either side

One other thing OP, I've seen other posters refer to Master Jewellers. You might need to check what the jeweller can personally make if someone is calling themselves that as I don't think it's a protected term in the UK.

For example, when a jeweller displays 'Company of Master Jewellers' logos, that is actually a group buying organisation (like SPAR for small shops) so doesn't really indicate that jeweller's skills.

A Master Jeweller used to be the term for someone who had completed a proper jeweller apprenticeship for 6-odd years, completed their piece, been a journeyman and been accepted as the equivalent of a 'Meister', for example by the Worshipful Company. Not many current high street jewellers have done this and I could be wrong but I think anyone can call themselves a master jeweller without having the ability to smith anything. There are exceptional smiths who haven't gone down this route, equally there are jewellers who outsource everything and charge through the nose who asset they are master jewellers.

Good luck, OP.

I wear my eternity ring on my right hand as doesn’t fit / suit to wear with the others (diamonds are larger on eternity than wedding and engagement rings )

I'm thinking about the same thing. I know it is a complete luxury to have a bigger diamond but we are in a better financial position than we were 12 years ago. I am looking at exactly the same ring but bigger stone. I just can't decide if I would regret it as I couldn't afford to keep my original engagement ring too. I'm going to think about it over the next few months. As I will be having the same ring style, it doesn't seem too bad but it's still not the original first diamond I received. Hubby is fine with it as long as I keep the same style. He said he definitely didn't want me to mess about with the original making it into a halo etc

@carrottopper have you looked at what you’d get for your original? Unfortunately most jewellery doesn’t resell for a high value, so you might be able to keep the original and save for a new one. Or could you have the original stone made into a pendant and and metal used for the new ring with a bigger diamond? That might end up being more expensive though!

I’m looking at eternity rings at the moment but all the ones I love are out of budget (i’m looking at antiques and secondhand ones) so I think i’m going to wait and save more even though I wanted it for a big anniversary.

I would either go for a trilogy ring (diamond and sapphire or diamond and ruby) if you definitely want to wear it with your engagement/wedding rings, or just go for whatever style you most like and wear it on your other hand.

If you buy vintage/pre-loved you can get much more ring/stone for your money, btw!

I got a ring after my daughter was born and i wear it on my right hand.
Your rings are beautiful, i wouldn't change them, they sit so nicely together too

Personally I wouldn’t want to change my engagement ring as I feel it’s meaningful and I want to keep it as is. But that depends on the individual.

I agree. I think your rings are perfect together so I wouldn’t mess with them.

Not the point of the thread, or hugely into jewelry, but must add that I find the concept of a half eternity ring quite funny.

changing your engagement ring does seem to negate the symbolism of it.

Heh @fr0g me too! My wedding ring is a half eternity and I like to think of it as a mildly amusing subversive act on my part. In truth I did it for pragmatic reasons so that I can have it re-sized if need be in future.

Just wear an eternity ring on your right hand, why should one finger get piled up?

We went into the jewellers we bought it from on Saturday. It was bought 12 years ago and she looked on the system and said the same ring is now sold today for double what we paid however they would only offer around 70% of what we originally paid so she recommended seeing an independent jeweller. I'm not sure what to do. I love my ring but would get a lot of pleasure out of a bigger stone (and I know that is a luxury). I think I'll keep mine and see how I feel this time next year