Wwyd? Nursery situ

[Hairwizard]

So dd goes to nursery 2 days a week.
Sils bestie works at said nursery. Senior position aswell.

The room dd is now in has a window that separates her current room with previous room, where bestie works in.
On the days dd is in she raps the window looking to get into other room to see bestie, which they usually oblige, its all very cute bla bla bla..

Last night sil showed me a vid clip of dd being filmed doing this, bestie had filmed it and had showed sil, they were laughing about etc.
Im really not happy about it. I thought nurseries had rules on this sort of thing?
The nursery my ds went to staff were not allowed their phones whilst working. They were kept with tbeir personal belongings in their lockers in staff room.

I feel i should speak to the nursery about this. I hate that am in this position and i know it will ruffle feathers at home, but if had been any other staff member it would be the same result. While my dd is there shes a child in her care and shes a member of staff with responsibilities abd duty of care. Wwyd? Go to nursery or have a word with bestie ??

Okay, I'm going to go against the grain here. She was wrong and shouldn't have done it and it absolutely may raise questions about their overall policy enforcement. But it's clear that the nursery has allowed this woman to have an additional relationship with your DD. In this situation, I'd be speaking to the friend and saying that really, I appreciate that she didn't mean anything by it but this isn't okay, especially as the children shouldn't be filmed on personal devices.

Unless you think she's filming all the kids and doing something with that, I think a more personal approach is appropriate.

I also know I will be the only one saying this so won't com back to see all the people yelling at me.

I'm not sure really.

I'm guessing your daughter must know this woman pretty well (outside the context of nursery) to be recognising her and waving at her in the other room?

If that's the case and you do spend time with her outside of nursery, I'd be tempted to send her a message asking her not to film your daughter.

She will know it was you anyway. Who else would bother?

I think it's a bit off of you, actually. Why not ask her not to do it again?

I would speak to the manager - this is completely unacceptable.

Thinking more I actually thing you need to report it because it sounds like all of their staff need retrained

Not only did she have her phone out recording a child and none of the staff batted an eyelid, but your SIL hasn’t even twigged why her mate told her not to tell or show you

That suggests it hasn’t even occurred to your SIL that her bestie, or anyone, filming the kids with their own phones is an issue - what kind of training has she had that that hasn’t even dawned on her?

She'll know it was you anyway due to the specific concern.

@Bibidy
I dont see bestie socially. Shes my sils friend. Shes knows her already as she spent a few months in the respite creche where bestie works when onsite.

Ive been in and rsised issue now anyway. Was asked if i wanted to make a formal complaint but i chose not to as that would prob mean she loses her job.
But i couldnt let it go. As pp mentioned there has to be 2 stsff min at all times so someone else there allowed her to do it without reporting themselves.
She knew she shouldnt have done it as she didnt want her showing it to me. What else has she sent to her without my knowledge and what has sil been told about dd there without my knowledge?

@10FrozenFingers
I could have but on thinking on it its too serious not to bring to their attention. Had it been another staff member id be doing the same.

I would absolutely report this. Places were rules are getting bent in one area could be places where they are getting bent in other, more dangerous areas. It creates a culture where people don't take safeguarding seriously or think minor rule breaking is okay, and that's not okay.

You've done the right thing in reporting it as they obviously all need a bit of a boost in regards to safeguarding! I'm glad you didn't make a formal complaint though- she obviously thinks you're friends and while she shouldn't have taken the video, she may have only ever filmed your child because you're friends. And she may not have been given the correct training in regards to safeguarding. Which would be the nurseries fault rather than hers. I hope the nursery clamp down and I hope she doesn't lose her job.

Yep i dont want anyone losing jobs but they need a reality check. They cant be getting sloppy cos its a child they know personally. Goes for any staff member.