AIBU to wonder why kids are getting mobile phones so young?

[Somuchyoungerthantoday]

Just that, it’s now the norm for 12, even as young as 8 year olds to have mobile phones! Free access to the internet? Worst of all - instagram pages and use of tic tock (actually I don’t know what tick tock is by I’ve heard kids mention it. I’m just really annoyed that my 9 year old son says he feels left out as he doesn’t have one, seriously????? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

My 7 year old niece has one and stares at it permanently she doesn't even look up when you speak to her. I hate it

Yanbu to a point.

Ds1 had a phone for his 11th birthday and the others will be the same.

They do need one before secondary school though - gone are the paper planners/timetables of our day and their whole timetable and homework planner is now on an app (in ds’s and three other local secondaries I know dc at - I’m assuming this is the same in many?)

I completely agree that below secondary age there's no need for a phone with a sim and unregulated use. It is hard when your child says they are left out of chats or whatever but i think that's part of parenting, you assert your own values, choices etc and help them find ways round it. My son is apparently one of the few in y6 who doesn't have one. Thing is, he's a screen fiend anyway and it's a battle to keep him off them at home, so I'm not giving him one that he'll always have or lose until I have to when he's travelling alone. I don't care if I'm an embarrassing mum, he can blame me, that's fine.

^ same as the secondary argument above except we have middle schools here. Independent travel on the school bus from year 5 and a secondary style approach to homework etc. So ours have all got a phone at 9.

Well, what are you actually dismayed about though? Phones or social media? Because they're not one and the same thing.

My 9 year old has one because she had started going to the park and library without me and I wanted a way to be in contact with her; also she was getting left out of friends chatting on WhatsApp, basically.

It's set so I have to approve all apps, I can see every text she sends, and I can remotely lock it.

She won't have social media for quite a number of years yet. All of the apps she has are just for fun; today she's been teaching herself coding using the Switch app.

What do you disapprove of in that?

The thing is I know how rubbish I am with my phone - it is addictive - but I’m adult enough to be sensible with it - fearing the day I let my son lose with one (for a limited time each day). Just annoyed really that these devices have been marketed to the kids and caught on as a norm to have.

I think it's standard for them to have a phone when moving up into high school. Ideally they should be building up their independence just before then, so many parents will give an old phone for safety.

My 7yo has one after his phone watch broke. I gave him an old iPhone 5 so he takes it to the park in a zipped pocket. Saves me standing at the door screeching "Dinnerrrrrrr!"
His 10yo sister has a 6S (again one of our old ones). She messages her little tween friends.
My 13yo has an iPhone 8. Uses it all the time. It's allowed at school and in some lessons the teachers tell them to take out their phones and google things, or take photos or use the calculator (use IN class seemed crazy to me but whatever. If that's the way they're doing it so be it.) DD texts me randomly through the day for chats, gossip or asking me to meet her for lunch.

I have free access to all of th3"e kids phones. instagram isn't allowed and I have no problem with them having smart phones. Schools teach them how to google. They expect use of computers and iPads
It's a different era. Technology is a HUGE part of life and as shocking as it seems to us, it's becoming the norm.

So the fashion is for the kids at our school to have an iPhone, and hence access to the internet and social media. I mean I can regulate it just as we regulate the television but it saddens me that so many children have iPhones (ok so not phones - iPhones) and the pressure for them to be a part of the social media scene and even the what’s app groups - I hear so many people saying how the what’s app groups can exclude kids or even cause anxiety - it’s basically opens up a whole hornets nest????!!!!!

My dc are still little (4 and 6)so we haven't had to broach this but I imagine it's because they're relatively cheap, very useful and everyone does nowadays. It's really not just kids on them all of the time, if I look around on the bus, in supermarket, every where really there are people on their phones.

Well yes I guess it can: our deal is that I can check her WhatsApp every day, whenever I want. But what's most useful about that is that I can start to teach her the etiquette, i.e. not to forward that spam thing, don't keep texting people if they're busy and not replying, etc.

It's a life skill like any other, like it or not. Your objections all seem to be rather vague handwringing, but we can't head back in time.

I find it so very sad that toddlers are given mobiles or iPads to “ shut them up.”

Peer pressure. For both kids (all their friends have one) and their parents (want to keep in constant touch).

I have app restrictions set up on my 12 year olds iPhone. His friends take the mickey out of him though.
He gets 2 hours a day for YouTube / fortnite, Instagram etc, unlimited access to certain apps like safari if he needs them for homework. He can ask me for extra time at any point via a message that comes through to my phone.
I hate having to regulate his screen time but he is incapable of regulating it himself.
We have a ban on screens after a certain time and they are not allowed in his bedroom.
He also has restrictions on his PlayStation

He has a phone because he has to get a bus to another town to get to school. I’ve just confiscated it though and now he’s having a paddy cos he won’t have it tomorrow 🤦🏼‍♀️