To feel like I'm getting life wrong...

[stilltiredinthemorning]

I'm 41, married with 2 preschoolers. I feel like we work really hard and try to do everything 'right'. I have a fairly senior job as a paediatric HCP, which I do 3 days a week. My husband works in management for a large retail firm. Our kids are perhaps not the easiest, but no significant additional needs. I feel like:

• We are permanently skint even though we budget, rarely buy ourselves luxury items, don't go on holiday etc.
• Are permanently exhausted and wouldn't want to go out if we had the opportunity, which we don't.
• My career, which I've tried so hard to achieve is thankless and depresssing
• Our house is frequently a mess and needs loads of stuff changing, which we have neither the time nor the money to achieve and aren't likely to any time soon

I've started having terrible anxiety and sometimes feel like I'm having one long panic attack. I think it's because I just feel like we're drowning in it all and there is no respite/change in sight.

Other people don't seem to find what is essentially a rather normal and fairly privileged life nearly as difficult!

AIBU to think we're just getting it wrong?

Things get better one they are in school, this stage is shit

Solidarity over here too OP. I'm 40, also have two pre schoolers. Work 4 days a week, and feel permanently tired and stressed out by life. I struggle to stay on top of everything, there always seem to be something that needs doing/planning/sorting, my diet is crap and my relationship with my DH is suffering.

As @clymene accurately points out, small children and working is a difficult combination. Never feel there is enough of me to go around and constantly apologising for not being enough.

All that said, I do love my job and that fact helps enormously. If I didn't like it, things would be so much harder. You sound like you're unhappy in your career. Is there anything you can change about that?

I also find that exercise keeps me sane - it's 'my' time and I do it more for my head than my body these days. Even just a quick home work out makes a difference. Is there anything you have (as previous OPs have asked) that is just for you?

Good luck, sure this will pass...when the DC are teenagers maybe?!

The only possible solution, speaking from experience is to reassess what are your actual needs vs wants, drink more gin and shag at every opportunity