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Original poster

To Dread The Words “ I’m Bored”?

49 replies

Bunnylady54 · 13/02/2020 17:58

All kids say this but DD11 is in a league of her own! We’ve had so many arguments. She gets bored very easily & I find myself immediately trying to “ fix” things. Whatever I suggest she will dismiss & sometimes she gets really silly eg saying she has no friends or that they’re not available before she’s even asked. It’s hard to explain how difficult it can be. She’s an only child which adds to it. I love spending time with her, don’t get me wrong, but it can be exhausting trying to keep her entertained. Can anyone sympathise with this? Hoping halfterm won’t end up being a battle!

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 13/02/2020 18:03

Give it back to her;
What are you going to do about it
What do you want to do
How can you find something interesting to do

The broken record technique

Keep repeating those phrases and let her sort it out

ivykaty44 · 13/02/2020 18:03

And never, ever ever make suggestions...ever

BRITISHAIRWAYSSUCK · 13/02/2020 18:03

I have 2 and my eldest always complains and expects to go out. I figured the more I give it, the less likely she is to find a way to entertain herself. So the last few weekends I've asked her to think of what she can do at home, be it with us all or alone and she now likes to spend time in her room reading or doing a puzzle. Albeit a very short amount of time, but I am hoping it develops into her being able to understand it's OK to be bored and just read or do a puzzle or even play a game on the iPad for a short time while mummy is cooking / cleaning etc. She is only 7 years old, so this could change as she develops into a little pre-teen of course!

Perhaps as an 11 year old you could take her to the library and ask her to get some books that interest her to cover her on rainy days / days you've got things to do aside etc. Or ask her what she wants for dinner, get her to push the trolley around the supermarket picking out the items required and assisting her while SHE cooks it. IMO it helps with independence.

Mercedes519 · 13/02/2020 18:06

I counter with suggestions...

Read a book
Tidy your room
Empty the dishwasher
Put the bins out
Do some gardening

And so on...so I can’t be accused of not making suggestions... not my fault they don’t like them Grin

Sally872 · 13/02/2020 18:08

"Bored? Great you can help me clean the windows/pair the socks etc. "

If they ask me to do a jigsaw with them or play a game I often will but don't come to me expecting me to provide endless ideas.

BlueJava · 13/02/2020 18:12

Why do you feel the need to entertain her all the time? I used to reply "What are you going to do about it?" or "Why do you think you need to be with friends all the time?" and "Find something to do then". Resilience and being by yourself is a big part of growing up, she must learn to cope without coming to you all the time. I'd tell her that (tough love!)

StiffUpperQuip · 13/02/2020 18:13

"I'm bored!"

Me: "I'm mum. Pleased to meet you!"

After the inevitable eye roll, finish off with a, "Fine. The washing up needs doing. Oh, you don't want to? Well take this laundry and fold it. No? Here's a duster. Go use it!"

Suddenly they're either magically no longer bored or you get chores done. It's a win win.

IndieTara · 13/02/2020 18:16

My DD is 11 an only child and I'm a single parent.
I get this from her a lot. I've recently started telling her she needs to find something to do, making a few suggestions the. Leavi v her to it.

kitk · 13/02/2020 18:19

When my DD said she was bored a few weekend ago I got out the extra maths book. She hasn't used the B word since!

Nowayorhighway · 13/02/2020 18:21

When my DD said she was bored a few weekend ago I got out the extra maths book.

Grin I have done this before, it’s highly effective.

FrancisCrawford · 13/02/2020 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saoirse7 · 13/02/2020 18:24

Speaking as a teacher I find this a massive issue in classrooms at the minute. Children now generally require instant gratification and feel the need to be stimulated 24/7 and cannot cope with waiting or keeping themselves occupied.

I have a class of over 30 without any additional help and it is impossible to give my attention to every child when they need it. I try to get them to practice 'waiting' or doing nothing (for short periods of time of course, until my attention can be directed to them). I try to help them to develop some sort of resilience so that when they become adult members of society they aren't marching up the bank queue because they're bored waiting.

Of course you have to meet your daughters social needs, but to an extent. At 11 she should be old enough to entertain herself or find a way to keep herself occupied. You say she is an only child but company is only a small part of it, I have siblings but I enjoy my own company. If you give her no other option she'll have to find things to do.

AlanRickmanFanClub · 13/02/2020 18:30

My sister and I learned pretty quickly not to say those words or we would find ourselves hoovering, dusting, polishing, ironing, tidy our rooms, etc.

RainbowAlicorn · 13/02/2020 18:37

My DH always tells my DD only boring people get bored. She hates it. I once told her if she said it again I would give her a pair of scissors and she could go and cut the garden.

BeBraveAndBeKind · 13/02/2020 18:38

My sister and I learned pretty quickly not to say those words or we would find ourselves hoovering, dusting, polishing, ironing, tidy our rooms, etc.

Same in our house wheen I was growing up. My mum had a long list of really dull jobs which you'd be given if you said you were bored in her presence. I used the technique on my own children and I never hear the b word now.

goldfinchfan · 13/02/2020 18:38

we used ot be told "only boring people are boring"

give her chores until she learns how to entertain herself.
the more you "fix it" for her the worse she will be.

goldfinchfan · 13/02/2020 18:39

sorry only "boring people are bored"

Straysocks · 13/02/2020 18:44

I say in a highly jovial voice ‘Fantastic! You are so lucky. You can think! You are always bored right before you make something brilliant. What’s it going to be this time?’ Leaving them to it. As innocently as it is possible. We do have a lot of craft/model/diy stuff though.

GreenTulips · 13/02/2020 18:45

I agree stop fixing it for her.

She needs to learn to occupy herself with something longer term and rewarding for her input.

gamerchick · 13/02/2020 18:49

The words 'im bored' get a list of chores in response. I rarely hear them.

Stop pandering to her or you're going to create a teenage nightmare.

EerieSilence · 13/02/2020 18:51

My reply is usually: Good.
Stop thinking you are there to make her programme. Being bored is good.

Ohyesiam · 13/02/2020 18:52

My kids have learned never to say that because they always get “ great, can you empty the dishwasher, put out the food waste, fold the laundry”

Brazi103 · 13/02/2020 18:54

My ds is 4 and he says this. I feel your pain. I cant even give him chores because that's another mess I need to clean up.

Original poster
Bunnylady54 · 13/02/2020 18:58

I don’t think it’s the fact that she says it, it’s the way she says it. It’s such a huge deal ( or maybe that’s me making it one!). She does seem to get bored very easily. I don’t remember being like that as a kid.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 13/02/2020 19:02

If she makes it sound a huge deal it's because she thinks it's going to guilt trip you. If she knew it was a signal to get the duster and boot polish out she'd be a lot more discreet about it.

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