To expect DS (10) to be able to remember things?

[ScatteredMama82]

It’s driving me mad. Every day he has to run back into school because he’s forgotten his violin book, or his trainers or something. Same at home, I can literally say ‘remember to turn off the TV’ and he walks out 30 seconds later leaving it on. How do I get him to have more awareness of what he needs to be doing? He’s a dreamer, in his own little world a lot of the time. We had a real to-do earlier this week as he managed to leave his school bag at school, with his epipens in it. How he managed to walk out of school and not notice the bloody great bag he usually has on his back wasn’t there is a complete mystery to me (I wasn’t collecting him, a friend’s mum was and she didn’t notice either).

Checklist by the front door.
Checklist on school bag for end of school day.
Pocket money dependent on number of days with everything first time.

Unless you think dyspraxia or something, in which case still the checklists but not the pocket money, and expect to have to scaffold for years.

I was about to say give him time until you got to the epipen bit!

You need to stop reminding but make him think, so your questions are like the voice inside his head. So don't say 'go and get your school bag', bit 'have you got everything... think about it because you haven't!' Tv - 'you've forgotten something... what is it?' Be militant about it and don't do anything for him that he can do himself. And have consequences eg if he forgets something then he can't do it (eg football kit). Just tell yourself as long as it's the epi pen then it will be ok.

Sounds normal to me! My son was terrible for leaving things in the swimming pool or school changing room. I trained him to look around before he left to make sure he had everything. Only took until, I dunno, about year 9?

It will pass. Maybe.

Sorry 'you need' is a bit unnecessarily aggressive. Should read I would...

can you take a look at this link and see if he has any other symptoms of slow processing disorder? (forgetfulness is a 'symptom' of this). if not, can you write a list of things he needs together the night before on a whiteboard, that you place at the front door so he sees it before he leaves?