To expect some acknowledgement

[Newmumma2020]

Just had a baby a few days ago, my family have been amazing , ringing, texting visiting etc , DH family live a little further away (approx 15 min drive so not too far) his mother/father haven’t even bothered to send me a text to say congratulations, never mind arranged to visit soon. I’m not sure if it’s my hormones and im being unreasonable i just think it literally takes around 20 seconds to send a text message to the mother of your grandchildren?

What kind of contact do you usually have with them?
Have they been in touch with your DH? Perhaps they are trying to give you some space?

What contact have the had with their son?
Did you send his parents a birth announcement text or call - or did you leave it to their son? They may just be following your lead.

Do they know you've given birth? Iniate contact.

Is it normal for your in-laws to text you? Mine never text me, only DP. My FIL has a saying "never crowd a new mother" subsequently they didn't visit DC until we invited them when we were ready. Have you invited them over to see the new baby? Did they not congratulate DH when he told them of the birth? Was the congratulations not for you both? Maybe they are waiting to congratulate you in person?

Have you invited them over?

If they don’t usually msg you then I wouldn’t read anything into it. Why not take a new photo of the baby today and send it to them to show them that you’re open to communication?

If there has been no contact, do they even know you have given birth? If your DH has told them and they’ve replied congratulating him then I think that’s acceptable.

It’s only been a few days and surely you’ve been on MN enough to see the endless comments from DILs who feel their PIL are overbearing and suffocating them immediately they have given birth. Could your PIL be trying to give you space? Have you messaged them? Maybe they are waiting for the go ahead from you and you need to send the first text or photo.

Yes to be fair to them it was DH that let them know of the birth not me , they have said congratulations to him just not me personally so maybe I am expecting too much.

We already have a child together which they don’t see all that often by choice , I guess it just stings a little. DH doesn’t seem bothered though so it could be me overthinking it

Your baby is only a few days old. Have they sent a card, flowers or anything? Give them a bit longer, I'm sure they will.

What is it with people who expect personal congratulations or notification of something from in laws. They are the partners family so will contact them, the congrats will be to both via the partner

You are overthinking

Wouldn't bother me (actually didn't bother me)

It sounds like you don’t like them all that much as they’re not too bothered about your existing child. So they’ve not done anything wrong here - you’re just seeing it as confirmations of your opinion that you don’t like them much.

They are probably trying to leave you alone. They will know that you will have lots of people messaging and calling you. As they have said it to their son, they probably feel that's enough.

Have your parents specifically singled out your DH to congratulate him and would/did you expect that? I’m wondering if your family go about things differently and that has skewed your idea of what’s reasonable and expected in this situation.

I always feel that if I congratulate one half of the new parents then I have done my job. It would never occur to me to make sure I separately congratulate both.