To worry that I talk about myself too much?

[Everythingg]

I’m early 30’s and have been pretty unfortunate in the friends department. My school friends were an awful bunch. The whole set up was just so bitchy and you could never walk out of a room without feeling as though you’d be talked about.

I’ve always had self confidence issues due to a lifetime of constant put downs from my mum. She would truly say the most horrendous things to me from a young age.

Due to DH’s career choice, we do move around a lot so although I have made some good friends, distance becomes an issue when it’s time for us to up sticks again.

I really struggle with the lack of adult conversation in my life a lot of the time. For that reason, when I do meet someone, I try to be chatty, friendly and I hope that overtime I can turn these into friendships. I met someone recently who I got on great with. She was instigating lots of the meet ups but now she has massively cooled off and I don’t know why.

I do feel like something must be wrong with me and that no matter how hard I try I can’t get it right 😔 what I would give to be liked.

I often feel similar OP. I've worried that I talk too much about myself too. In my case I can be a little shy/awkward when meeting new people and I'm afraid I'll come across as rude/nosey if I ask too many questions about the other person. So inevitably I'll talk more about myself and internally cringe when I realise it.

Following along in the hope you get some good advice

I'm like that so I try to keep the conversation withal little detail as possible.

Thanks both. I’m really not a self absorbed person in any way. I’m just trying to be friendly but I just feel like I’m getting this all totally wrong.

If you’re desperate to make friends, might you come across as over-eager?

Next time you are with friends can you watch whether you are listening as much as talking? I’ve also found it useful, once I’ve shared something, to then ask the other person to share their own thoughts/experiences e.g I did x amazing thing last year it was great because x y z happened, what about you? Have you ever done something like that? I became really self conscious about always talking about me and now do this to make sure it isn’t the stayingontherails show when with friends :)

The fact that you are thinking this suggests you don't talk about yourself too much. In my experience, people who do this are way too interested in themselves to notice. You've probably just had bad luck with friends, keep going and you'll find someone you click with. Films and TV make it look easy to make friends but it's not.

I would try not to assume it’s about you as you don’t know what’s going on in her life. As has been said if you’re conscious of it then it’s unlikely you’re talking about yourself too much

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, you've said that you have forged friendships but you've then had to move and leave them behind. I've lived in the same place for years and have still only got 2 best mates that I see regularly.

Also as a pp said people who talk about themselves too much rarely realise or even consider it. I don't think there anything wrong with talking about yourself as long as you let the other person talk about themselves too.

I agree with previous posters, people who only talk about themselves never worry about it later on. So don't worry about it!

Actually I just distanced myself from a friend who only kept talking about herself. After being "friends" for the best part of the year I realised she knows nothing about me! She only asks what I did the weekend before and what are the plans for the next weekend.