AIBU to think he's gaslighting the children?

[clpsmum]

Not sure if I'm losing my mind, or making a mountain out of a molehill or what anymore tbh.

So to cut a long story short my STBXH has been telling my children that I am going out all the time and leaving them with random babysitters. THIS IS NOT TRUE! They know it's not true because they live with me six days a week! I am always in. I went out 5pm-10pm on Saturday and left them with a babysitter and hats the only time this year. STBXH keeps saying this to them and it's like he is convincing them it's true even through they are here with me and know it's not. I actually feel like I'm going crazy trying to convince them that it's not true when they actually know it's not! My 9 year old actually said he thinks his dad wants them to hate me! When I've confronted him about it in the past he's called the liars.

Actually at end of my tether and not sure what to do. Think I just wanted a few kind words or some advice if anyone can help. Anxiety been through the roof this week

Your children will get the measure of him.

Let him dig his own grave, as it were.

Be honest and true to your dc, they will know which parent they can trust (you) and which parent is a lying sack of shit (him).

Do not cover for him at all and speak your truth always.

They sound lovely, bright children and you seem like an on the ball and caring parent.

Ps Your dc are probably gillick-compedent, they probably would be able to tell cafcass (court apointed social worker team) that they do not wish to see their father as he is being emorionally abusive and manipulative towards them. Parental alienation is taken very seriously.

Do you have a paper calendar? Just write your odd night out prominently on there and then you can deal with this nonsense by just saying calmly, oh, just one night out since Christmas then...I always write them on here...

I have used this technique with DH when he claims he 'hardly ever' gets to go to his car events. So strange! There seem to be seven written on this calendar!

Same here but mine are younger and he brainwashes them about me "bringing scary men to the house" and "leaving them all on their own for the night". There hasn't been a single man to the house for 5 years, since I was 3 months pregnant with the younger and exH left.
I have absolutely no idea why he is doing this. There is an ongoing custody litigation, I am sick worried that he just wants them to parrot it back to the court officer.

Almost certainly trying to build a false picture for family courts. It's a clear attempt at parental alienation.

It needs to be ducumented, I reckon, so start a record of the dates and details the DC come back with.

Honestly ladies I can't thank you enough for your support. You are making me realise that I am not losing my mind and he is a manipulative nasty man.