To make this suggestion to my child's teacher....

[flowerpower18]

or am I literally being an over the top parent.

I have a DS who is 9 and amongst all the other things you worry about as a parent, one of my biggest fears is losing him whilst we are out and about. We've drummed it into him the importance of sticking by our side when we're out incase of him getting lost that he literally holds my hand the whole time we are out especially in busy places (which is a great thing, he's always done this).

Anyway, what we do is put a note in his pocket with our telephone numbers on incase this was to happen and he's going on a school trip at the end of the month with all of his year which is around 64 children plus another school year of around the same amount of children and of course I know there will be teachers with them and I will be adding the schools number to my DS's note incase he was to get lost from his group.

I was going to suggest this to the teacher that they do this for all the children that are going but not sure if I'm being an overprotective/weird/smothering mother. I suspect they will be wearing some kind of hi-vis vest so they can be identified and it shows they are part of a school trip.

Am I just being stupid!

My 9 yr old still holds my hand and calls me mummy - I wasn't aware this was weird.
More importantly he has been drilled about what to do if we ever become separated. We go to London a lot and go on the underground. He knows what to do if we are seperated.

I also take a picture of him if we go out for the day so I have a recent, decent photo should the worst happen - surely this is common sense and not over-protective?

My nearly 11 yo holds my hand. He'll drop it if he sees a friend and obv I don't make him. But out and about we do, it's just nice, nothing else.
He's always been the more physically affectionate of my two children - loves his snuggles and kisses. He's not immature in any way 0 - likes his privacy and goes to the park alone or with friends and is happy to be left home alone for short periods.

I did that when travelling with DC1. When he was 3-4. Most 9 year olds would know the parents' numbers, where parents work, home address, school etc, so they could figure out how to contact someone if they got lost - they're not helpless toddlers.

start at age 5 with learning address & your phone number asap - unless dc has severe LD(& I am serious in putting this way) most dc will have learnt this by age 9 (sense of direction however!!! is another matter)

Well I presume wherever they are going has exits etc? I think if a child gets lost on a trip they can find staff or the teachers would find them. It's not a bad idea like that. But at 9 he's going to be quite smart and stick with the teachers. Plus all teachers will be keeping count etc I presume.

Glad you saw the funny side op. I’m totally batshit too when it comes to my dc. Poor things! But I’m also a teacher so I see it from the other side too.

You can now get very small GPS trackers mainly for elderly relatives who might wander off but if you must, for children!.

When i was Nine i was allowed to stay with an Aunt in Sloane Square and spent most of the day there traveling and exploring London on the the tube network! And the whole tube system right out to Epping, Amersham and Watford facisnating to a young lad that was and steam engines!

Proud possesor of a photo sitting in the drivers seat of the Wiliam Wordsworth a magnificant Britiannia class loco at Liverpool Street station lovely names they had named after poets and historic figures

John Bunyan, Geoffrey Chaucer,John Milton, Sir Christopher Wren Black Prince, Alfred the great, ah! whats not to like:)

Happy Days:)

How has he never gone on a school trip before now? There's usually about one/two per year? I used to go on all the trips as my son has SN, so if I went I could supervise him and free up his 1:1 TA to supervise other kids. The risk assessment they do beforehand is extensive, believe me (and other PPs), there is no possibility left unconsidered.

They will be fine, they have their own protocol, they know what works best for them. (Our schools never did hi-vis tabards, as others have pointed out, their uniform helps identify them far better.) Headcounts are done before moving on every time and before boarding buses, for example.

YABVU

The school will have vastly more experience of risk assessing this type of trip and will have their own procedures, as will the place they’re visiting. Last time I took Brownies to the zoo we split into small groups so each leader had a group, much easier to keep track of six kids than twenty! The girls wore uniform plus a distinctive accessory that we provided so we would recognise them from a distance even if other brownie units were there (eg in the play areas when the girls go off to play). The zoo provided wristbands so we wrote leaders mobile numbers on them. We explained to all the girls to stay with their leader and if they did get lost, to find a member of zoo staff and ask them to call us on the number on their wristband. And if they were upset and forgot, a staff member would’ve known to do that anyway because they’d realise look for the wristband.

You sound over anxious and in danger of passing that anxiety on to your child. In a couple of years he’ll be at secondary school, when most kids get themselves to school independently, will you still make him hold your hand then?

I'm amazed by the numbers of children these days, who don't know their address when asked and don't know their home/ parents phone number. We had these drummed into us at a very early age.

Thanks everyone for the continued advice.

I think it's safe to say I have taken on board all your comments and am very rest assured he'll be fine :-)

I'm sure school will have thought have this already and have a system in place, as this probably isn't the first time they've taken kids offsite. At ours they have a sticker with the school details and emergency mobile on and stick it to each child's back. As well as the usual stuff about supervision by adults.

I think that your fears are very natural, but agree that the best way is to equip him with how to deal with a situation. You don't want him to be fearful of trying new things, do you? My mum always told me to 'find a nice lady' and ask her for help if things go wrong, and that's what I told my dch. I know there are weirdos out there, but most people are nice.

Ah, I too had a mother who “drummed into me” the dangers of getting lost/being kidnapped/God knows what, which gave me crippling anxiety for life. He’ll be fine OP. Equip him for life don’t terrify him of it.

You have been sporting OP, but we're all falling over ourselves with eagerness to point out any errors in your thinking. It's like a dam bursting in a way, the flow can't be stopped til everyone's had their say

One school I worked at had the school's name and phone number printed on the Hi Vis vests, which I think is very commonplace. Another had badges worn on the vest. I'd be astonished if your child's school didn't have something similar.

And yes, I agree with others that your anxiety about being separated, is over the top and that you're in danger of passing that one to your son.

@DobbyLovesSocks

Holding hands because he's a child and wants to is fine. Making it a rule he has to hold your hand because if he doesn't something bad might happen is ridiculous and confining for the DC. Kids need to learn independence gradually. At 9 years old he only has 2 years before secondary when he'll most likely take himself to and from school and around town with friends. He should be old enough to walk by your side without wandering off and getting lost.

Drumming into a child things like knowing their home phone number, and mum's phone number, and their address and so on is all very well. But judging by the behaviour on some school trips i've helped on, it would be FAR more valuable if parents drummed into their little darlings to listen to the teacher, pay attention to which group they're in, and do as they're bloody well told.

Schools have to do a full risk assessment before trips like this. I suspect you will find that they have already got any suggestions you might have to make well covered.

We used to use bic biro on the forearm never remembered a scrap of paper and DS would have lost it anyway

#parenting fail
#misses point of thread

@TheNoodlesIncident Haha yes I figured this out when my post exceeded past 20 comments....After that I just let the post go with the flow and enjoyed reading everyone's opinions on the matter.

I have learnt a lesson though "If I'm gonna do batshit things, make sure I hide it well" - I like this a lot!

:-)

Get your DC to memorise your number and your DP's number. Reward him. (We gave him a tenner for each number as an incentive.)

He had to use someone's phone recently to ring us when I dropped him off at someone's house who wasn't there. It worked.

OP, my 12yo walks herself to and from high school every day. But if she goes anywhere with me, she instinctively holds my hand. She's nearly as tall as me now, fiercely independent, but it's a lovely thing, and I cherish every time it happens. Yep, we do need to equip them for life, but they're only children for such a short time. One day she won't hold my hand. For now she does.

I've been part of taking kids on trips for about 27 years we never lost one. We took three classes once or twice over ninety kids. Younger kids then school releases staff to go so ratios are correct plus one and at least a couple of First Aiders at least one on every bus.
At nine he should know his address. I know four year olds that can give you their address.
We take ours in school uniform because they are easy to keep track of all the time(even the same colour from another school.) and we count them at regular intervals.
So Count them onto the bus. Count them again after seat belts are done. Count them off the bus. Count them after arriving and after the toilet. Then count them if they are going in small groups and then coming together again. Each group leader has a piece of paper with the groups name, phone number of the person in charge and several staff have a list of all children, address and telephone number.
Count them before lunch, count them after lunch when moving to other areas. Count them in the shop( bane of my life) and count the onto the bus and again when seat belts on before leaving.
We don't have high vis jackets because our school can't afford them but we have never lost anyone all day. The kids tend to make sure they stay with the group and only a few with behavioural problems might wander a little way but they are put with a member of staff who can manage them. All staff have risk assessments for the trip. This is where the member of staff goes on a trip to the venue and looks at all the risks knowing those children in their care.

Hope this puts your mind at rest.

I would quite happily pop that in his pocket, or make a bracelet with the school's contact number on ( if the school isn't already doing this.) I was a teacher for 20-odd years and a parent governor too. You would be utterly horrified to know how many kids are lost for a while on school trips and how kids also escape out of playgrounds before school. It used to be hushed up by my DS"s Head, but I got to hear about it because I was parent governor for vulnerable children and also often went on school trips.