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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Walking vs driving kids to school

458 replies

OpportunityKnocks · 12/02/2020 13:27

I've seen a few rants about traffic on local Facebook pages.

Every single time there is someone who says 'well, if the parents walked their children the half mile to school then we wouldn't have this problem' with an inference that parents are lazy.

Well, actually, people usually drive because it is quicker, just like they drive to work because it's quicker than walking or public transport.

Parents, like the rest of the population have stuff to do. It wound me up because a lot of comments were targeted at parents that don't work. I'm currently on mat leave and drive DS to/from preschool. I have other reasons why I drive him aside from time, but that's irrelevant. Why is my time any less valuable than someone who has to go to work? That half a mile is a 40 minute round trip walking vs a 20 minute round trip driving.

So AIBU to call these people out on blaming parents for traffic?

OP posts:

Notso · 12/02/2020 16:54

...why would you put your kids through it if you don’t have to?

It's walking to school, not the Hunger Games.

Vulpine · 12/02/2020 16:54

Your time is not worth less than someone who works but you are your own boss, your time is more flexible than someone who may have to clock in at 9am for example. But its not about workers v sahps.

Babysharkdoodoodood · 12/02/2020 16:56

I was lucky with my eldest as his school was just a bit out of the way to work. I'd drop littlie off at nursery at 7.45, which was 10 minutes and then another 25 minutes to primary for breakfast club, then another 20 minutes walk to work in time to prep for lectures. Then the reverse again at 4.30.

The traffic was always hellish and I'd sometimes beat my neighbour there, by the time they'd fought through the traffic and then parked up.

Bit miserable in the winter sometimes but it was lovely bonding time and we'd run through his spellings and tines tables on the way, or just chat about his day on the way back. DS2's school was so close though so never really did that much.

BercowsFlyingFlamingo · 12/02/2020 16:56

If children are used to walking to school they just get on with it and the dawdling and messing soon stops I've found. Ds struggled a little when he started reception and used to have sit down protests on the hill because he was tired but all the dc happily walk to school. Dd1 is at high school now and walks even though she could get the bus if the weather was bad for example. You see kids at the bus stop opposite getting the bus to her school. It's a 15 minute walk! I find that people who drive tend to drive most places whereas I don't drive so I walk or get the bus or train. My mind automatically plans for legs or public transport; theirs plan for the car. Different lifestyles. I like it when people drive 5 minutes to the gym

millymoo1202 · 12/02/2020 16:57

I walked past my kids old primary the other day and actually said does no one walk their kids to school now? We used to love it and missed it when they started to walk themselves. I totally get it if you are heading straight to work etc but if you are a stay at home parent then I really don’t get taking the car.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/02/2020 16:57

Yabu. Getting defensive about whose time is more important is a really silly way of looking at it. Your 'job' is to look after your baby. So you will do that whether you drive or walk. Someone who's getting paid to work is getting paid to be productive in that same time. So, you achieve your job either way, and they achieve their job better by getting there as quick as possible.
I hope I'm bringing my children up to realise that if you can walk somewhere, you walk it.

opticaldelusion · 12/02/2020 17:02

Half a mile walk takes 10 minutes. It's not a particularly credible argument to say there's no time for that. Driving must take nearly half of that once you've got into the car and done all the seatbelts up and found somewhere to park. Not to mention scraping the car if it's icy...

It's about whether you want to find the time I guess. A bit like people who say they have no time to read when they watch telly for two hours each night. They're prioritising telly over reading. Which is fine of course but it's not exactly 'no time'...

GhostsToMonsoon · 12/02/2020 17:16

Some parents at my children's school drive to school despite living a 5-10-minute walk away. They drive to school to get to their preferred spot as close to the school as possible. To do this, they need to arrive before they would have needed to leave if they were walking. And then they drive straight home again (I see their cars back on their drives when I'm walking my dog).

I think people should try and walk (or cycle or scoot) if at all possible. It's better for the enviroment, it's healthier, it reduces congestion and pollution, and makes the roads safer for children who walk or cycle. If people have to go straight on to work and haven't got time to walk back home first, fair enough (in which case they should park somewhere safe and not on the yellow lines or zigzags).

FizzyIce · 12/02/2020 17:20

I live in a small village so when I have work I drive dd to school as I go to work straight from there and don’t have time to then go back and get my car.
Work is not walkable and the bus is a joke so driving is my only option .
When I’m not working,we walk .
These people who moan assume it’s laziness in all cases because they are twats

CharBart · 12/02/2020 17:23

We live very close to the local primary school, catchment usually

GrumpyHoonMain · 12/02/2020 17:26

Half a mile would take 10-20 mins if your child was used to it. But he’s not because you’ve made him used to the car

DaveGrohlsMuse · 12/02/2020 17:26

If the only way you can get to work on time is to drive and drop your kids on the way, if your school is miles away, if there is no safe walking route (because someone has clearly prioritised car use over walking when town planning), if your DC's or you have a disability that means walking is not practical, then drive them there by all means.

But in most circumstances people have the time and requisite level of fitness to walk their DC's to school, but choose to drive instead because they can. It's not illegal, it's your right. But the traffic you're getting stuck in is because of you, you're the traffic. And the awful air quality we are seeing these days is also you (unless you are all electric).

There is a school at the end of my street. The catchment is tiny. Every day there are wankers parked on the double yellows and zig zags with their hazards on, because they are clearly special so of course they can park their.

My DS has a friend who lives probably 300 yards from us two (quiet residential side) street away from us. His dad drives him to our house and picks him up in the car to take him home again.
My neighbour ferries her perfectly fit and healthy DD and her friend to school, it's less than ten minutes in foot.
Both of those journeys take longer in the car due to several dead ends only open to walkers and cyclists, which means the cars have to go onto the main road that always has heavy traffic because of them.

Our kids need to learn that driving has an impact, and that walking is the best way of getting from a to b (when possible). And we as adults need to teach them that.

frillyfarmer · 12/02/2020 17:32

I suppose it depends where you go to school. We have a lovely small village primary and it's full parents who can't fucking drive are not considerate in their parking and it causes unnecessary traffic and emotion every single morning.

The village is designed in a way that makes it perfectly workable to park a two minute walk up the road and walk down the pavement to school, yet every morning there is a scrum to park in the most mindlessly stupid way possible, in order to get closest to the school gate.

To be honest I do judge them. I judge them on their shit parking, their inability to walk any distance with their children to the school gate and their complete lack of respect for other villagers.

fishonabicycle · 12/02/2020 17:35

We have a school at the end of my (not very long) cul de sac. The catchment area is about 8-10 minutes walk in any direction. The school ask over and over for parents to not drive up the road, as it is narrow and dangerous. There is a group lazy self entitled fuckers who think it doesn't apply to them. Also - just walk! You should live within half a mile.

JosefKeller · 12/02/2020 17:42

...why would you put your kids through it if you don’t have to?

It's walking to school, not the Hunger Games.

Allyg1185 · 12/02/2020 17:46

Everyone's situation is different. We live a 10 min walk to school, 3/4 minutes by car. The bell goes at 9am and I have to be in work for 9.15am which 3.5 miles across town in the opposite direction. The school is at the end of a cul de sac and is a nightmare for parking and cars are being damaged due to people squeezing up between two rows of parked cars. I drop my ds off at the bottom of the street and he walks up the straight path to school. Then I head to work arriving between 9.05am and 9.10am.

Theres no possible way I can walk and make it on time. The way I drop off and the route I take is pre planned to avoid the centre of town and therefore traffic/buses round the station. I walk when I'm off. Do I feel guilty about it? No. Do I judge others for driving despite living two rows from school? No. Do I judge the parents that walk? No. Each to their own. Do the best for your own family

Vulpine · 12/02/2020 17:56

Doing the best for your own family is also doing better for the larger population

hopeishere · 12/02/2020 18:01

This drives me mad. I go from drop off straight to work. I could walk to drive off and walk home but then I'd be late for work!!

lanthanum · 12/02/2020 18:03

Disclaimer: I've no problem with people who drive because they have to go on to work afterwards, or for other good reasons.

Encouraging walking is generally a good idea, though. We have a house rule that we do not use the car for journeys in the village (unless there's a good reason like needing to carry something large/heavy, or illness). That means I've never had the "can't we go in the car?" that I've heard from so many children - it just doesn't occur to DD as an option. She's now a teenager and does not expect lifts to friends' houses.

People talk about walking being healthy for children. It's also good for parents - my vitamin D levels sank through the floor at the point when I stopped doing the school run!

dottiedodah · 12/02/2020 18:14

Most Mums who do drop offs have to go to work as well ! SAHMs )of which I am one )do not usually go straight home but pop to shops /coffee with chum/dog out ! Many people seem to think its a piece of cake to walk DC to School until they have tried it!

Sirzy · 12/02/2020 18:17

Popping to the shops and going for coffee are both pretty flexible events really!

It’s no wonder we have such a problem with inactivity and obesity amongst children when parents who can do so are still bundling the children in the car at every given opportunity.

Emmelina · 12/02/2020 18:18

It’s about a 10 minute walk for us. Eldest is at high school now so walks with a friend unless it’s torrential rain! I walk with the other two three times a week unless it’s icy as youngest has a phobia about slipping over. The other two days I start work earlier so drop them for breakfast club on my way in.

BellatrixLestat · 12/02/2020 18:20

My kids' school is 0.2 miles from home. By the time I've got them strapped into the car (baby I'm the mix too), parked, and out again, I'd have walked quicker so it makes sense to walk.

I don't begrudge those who drive as long as they drive and park sensibly.

corythatwas · 12/02/2020 18:23

...why would you put your kids through it if you don’t have to?

because taking exercise is good for them now

because getting used to taking exercise will benefit them later in life

because adding to pollution will be detrimental to them now

because adding to global warming will be detrimental to their future

because adding to global warming is already damaging other children elsewhere and your children shouldn't have to carry that burden

RaspberryBubblegum · 12/02/2020 18:26

A mile is roughly a 15 minute walk but with my 3 year old it takes around 25 mins to get to her nursery. I see why people drive but I'm glad I don't. She loves the walk.

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