Need help. My anxiety is through the roof.

[DreamALittleDreamofMe]

I am sat here feeling completely numb. The last 3 months have been awful.

In November my 2 year old daughter fell ill with vomiting, lethargy (sleeping up to 16 hours a day) and vacant episodes. I was signed off for 2 weeks with stress whilst she underwent lots of bloods, MRI, ultrasounds and x-rays, thankfully - they determined that it was nothing 'scary' however she is still not any better and is now under paediatric neurology for further tests.

My 4 year old finally got pulled up on his 'autistic traits' at school. We have known for a long time deep down but we love him just the way he is and I'm trying to juggle all of the appointments for him.

Due to the fact my 2 year old has been so unwell, she hasn't attended her usual childcare for 16 weeks. Luckily my amazing Nan has had her for 2 hours a day whilst I'm at work.

Devastatingly, my Nan was diagnosed with lymphoma today and is now awaiting chemotherapy.

It sounds silly but I feel traumatised and overwhelmed, so much is going on right now and I can't seem to comprehend anything.

I called in sick to work today, I'll make up my time over the weekend. Anyway, my rant really is for advice, I don't know how to work my notice with a poorly daughter, I don't want to give up my job but my priority needs to be getting my Nan well and also there is nobody else to help with the little one so it renders it impossible.

Is there anyone is work you can explain all this to? I'm so sad to hear all you have been going through.

Thank you for your reply
My boss is aware of what has been going on with my daughter and has been amazing about it. I'm usually a pretty strong person but I've developed a weird anxiety now, my heart is racing all of the time and I worry about irrational things a lot for example fearing being sacked over this.

I've crashed my car twice in the past 10 days and I just can't seem to function very well. Xx

Can you ask work about parental leave? I had a year out from work when my ds was being diagnosed with ASD. I think if you have a child under five it’s a bit easier but I can’t remember the laws around it

That could be a possibility, luckily both of these little ones are under 5 so I might be eligible for that.

What you're experiencing doesn't sound silly: it's trauma. You need to be kind to yourself and not beat yourself up for this, okay? My very wise mum always says that it's not how you cope, just that you do cope. And you've an awful lot to cope with. Is there anyone you can talk to? Sending unmumsnetty hugs to you

Well it sounds like you could do with a trip to the GP to be signed off sick for a bit with anxiety and stress.

You could use parental leave. You get 18 weeks over the lifetime of a child to 18. You have to take in week long chunks and there are other ts and ca governing when work have to give it/ the workplace being able to change the date. It's not quite an emergency leave, but could be used eg for planned ops.

You sound like you need to get yourself down from the ceiling, for yourself. Self-care will be very important as you enable yourself to manage the ongoing situation, for yourself and for your children. Go to your GP, take some time to soothe your self and then think more clearly about a long term plan, including longer term self care to avoid getting to this point again.

Ps, your son wasn't pulled up on his autistic traits, he isn't bad just different and needs support.

You are having a really bad night because of shock of the diagnosis. Im sorry about your Nan. Don't make long term choices tonight. Remind yourself catastrophic thinking is the anxiety talking. Notice the thoughts but don't engage tonight.

And you work out your notice whilst not going in by being on sick leave (note I am definitely not suggesting this is the right course of action, please don't decide this tonight).

When you catastrophise, tell yourself that feelings are not facts. Just because you feel strongly that it will happen, it doesn't mean it actually will.

Thank you x

that's a lot for anyone to deal with. I second speaking to the GP as you need time to start to recover. It sounds like you have an understanding boss, so I'd try to speak to them tomorrow about everything that's going on. I'd never sack an otherwise good employee because they have a lot going on in their personal life and need a little time to recover.