How do I get past my current impasse?

[JoBirch60]

Hi everyone,

I am just posting here for advice. I was in my final year at University last year, however, due to the passing of a close family member, I had to take a step-back from everything, as I became very unwell after the bereavement.

I have a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome, and am struggling to reach-out and get the help I need. I've only just started getting out of my depression after consulting my GP and taking the medication he has given me.

My Grandad was my mentor in life. My dad left when I was 10, so he was my male-role model. His passing hit me very hard, that it stopped my progress at University since it happened last April.

I got first class marks in both my first and second year, however, couldn't sit my final year exams last May as was very unwell at that stage, given he'd just passed away two weeks prior to the start of exams.

I've been working hard at home (as much as I can) to be able to sit the exams this May, but am struggling so much to get back on track from where I left off. My status is 'Exam Only', so I can't contact my tutor - I just feel so stuck as to where to get going again. My 'Exam Only' status (given to me by my University) means that I cannot get access to any of my Disabled Students Allowance (DSA) mentoring support this year which has been so helpful for me in past years. This is despite Student Finance England accepting my medical evidence and awarding me an additional year of Compelling Personal Reasons funding.

I got outstanding grades due to my hard work in the past - getting to this University (top 5 in UK) was extremely hard - especially given that my mum didn't work (so there wasn't much money growing up - I received FSM, Pupil Premium etc.) and I got through school (and in to this University) undiagnosed, and being on the Child Protection Register for 6 months due to Emotional Abuse from my dad when I was 13.

I KNOW that I can do it, but just need advice on where to 'start again'.
Since my Grandad passed away, I have put on about 5 stone in weight. I have just felt so down, so often.

Another barrier that I feel that I am constantly up against is the way that grad jobs are recruited for here in the UK. Most use psychometric testing, which makes it very hard for even the most talented non-neurotypical, to break through them. Sometimes, this makes me feel that there is no hope in the future.

Please could I kindly request some advice - on how to:

• Overcome the depression following my Grandad's passing
• Get back on track academically
• Overcome a grad recruitment system that seems geared towards neurotypicals.

Thanks so much for any advice. :)

Poll:

Should I feel proud of my achievements to date (I always beat myself up a lot and very much feel that I shouldn't, and that I have 'fallen behind' my school peers - I am now 24 and still haven't graduated :( )

YABU - Yes
YANBU - No

Anyone??

???

Yes you should feel proud if your achievements. And whenever you graduate, its still an achievement- i had friends not bother going to university, to changing courses, to go in their mid-20s, or even go back and do a postgrad years after. All are “successful”, and all did it at their own pace.

Do you have a GP to speak to if your university are not helping with the depression?

It seems ridiculous that you can't access the help you need at this stage. Can you speak to the course principal as I'm sure they would want to help and will be able to sort something out. They don't want talented students who have worked hard to fail.

I pressed YANBU by mistake. sorry.

Thanks everyone. I'm at my GP's surgery now in fact - he's prescribed me something for it, but am looking to get it changed as the side effects are affcting my sleep pattern. The uni are not being helpful at all - they have put me on a status that means I can't get the DSA support I need.

You should feel incredibly proud of what you have achieved so far.
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandad . I agree with redastherose and their comment. There must be someone else to speak to perhaps higher up? Different people do things at different paces depending on their situations. You need to focus on you now and getting better x

Does your uni have a student advocacy service that can help you get your status changed re DSA support, and help you research/navigate the grad course?