To ask for sick leave for this?

[BrowniesAreSuper]

Or rather would my husband be U.

I'm having major surgery very soon (date only confirmed yesterday) and have to travel quite a bit for this. I'll be in hospital about a week and then need whatever time to recover at home after. We also have two under two. I'm currently on mat leave so obviously husband will need to take some time off. His work have been very understanding and are ok with him taking two weeks but have said he should go to his GP to get signed off for this period.

We both feel a bit weird about asking for him to be signed off as he's not sick, and don't want to waste a GP appointment so just thought I'd check what people think or whether this is a done thing? WWBU I guess!

When I went in for surgery, the consultant asked if DH needed him to sign him off sick. We declined as MIL was willing to help, but it would have been my doctor certifying him not DH's GP.

he coould get signed off with stress, thats what i got signed off with when i needed to help my mum after a operation

He isn't sick, I doubt the Gp will sign him off sick when he isn't.

Yes totally agree with you and pp. Sick leave is the right thing for you having the op to do, if you weren't on mat leave. I had my wisdom teeth out under general and it was taken as sick.

”Employers can recover statutory sick pay from HMRC”

No they can’t.

If they’re willing to pay him despite him not actually being ill then they can just authorise some paid leave at whatever rate they’re prepared to pay, but getting signed off sick doesn’t come into it.

Ironically I'm not signed off sick either as would have to end mat leave to do so. I don't even feel sick so would have been at work up until the operation if I hadn't been on mat leave. The nurse offered to sign me off anyway!

We will have some support from grandparents but they live hours away and still work themselves so not really able to cover husband's work.

We'll manage money wise but we'll have to dip into savings which are quite drained already from two mat leaves in a short period of time.

Thanks again for all the perspectives. Interesting that the consultant signed your DH off @preponderings , is this a while ago?

Well he's not sick...

On a more practical note, if they are happy for him to take 'sick' leave, can he self-certify for a week which then leaves a week to cover.

If he is near the end of his leave year can he ask for exceptional allowance to take a week of next year's leave early, so bring it forward?

Your DH would be very unreasonable to ask for sick leave as he's not the sick one. GPs won't sign him off so don't ask. His work should also know that he can't be signed sick if he's not.

Dependent's leave, or parental leave assuming you have a child, is an option. Most employers will be understanding, but leave may have to be unpaid.

If he leave year ends soon, it’s worth chatting to HR about whether he can borrow leave from next year (or even your operation might be in the next holiday year) so that could work.

If he leave year ends soon, it’s worth chatting to HR about whether he can borrow leave from next year (or even your operation might be in the next holiday year) so that could work.

Yes, this.

He can't take sick leave - he's not sick! I can't imagine any GP's would sign him off just to look after you.

His options are Parental Leave or to see if his workplace offers some form of carers leave.

There is nothing to stop a company paying for compassionate leave - it depends what it says in their policy. They are obviously happy for him not to be in work and to keep paying him - it's just the category his boss puts it on the records as.

How soon after the operation are you back to work OP? Is it worth ending the mat leave the day before the surgery and beginning a period of sickness? Is it better paid?

Since other GPs have signed some people off in similar circumstances in the past I don't think it would be unreasonable of your DH to ask if it is still possible under current rules. Are you at the same GP clinic? Can he see your GP to enquire? But I wouldn't be surprised if the answer was 'No' and he had to talk to work about other leave options.

Some places of work have insurance for staff sickness. In schools it tends to kick in after two weeks. Maybe your husband being signed off for two weeks means that his pay is covered by this sort of insurance so there would be no financial loss to his place of work. It's not entirely ethical but it could be the reason

I’d be concerned about it going on your DH’s sickness record at work. Two weeks is quite a long time, before he’s even claimed any for himself.

Parental leave an option until children are 18. Unpaid though.

@Bernadette I haven't given a date yet but planned around June for returning to work. I'd get about double pay if I was off sick so this would be ideal money-wise but it wouldn't work for us for slightly complicated personal reasons. I'd have to give 28 days notice of intending to return anyway and now only have 12 before admission so not really a goer as of now. Only got told re date yesterday by the way!

Sorry, not meaning to get into personal reasons why we can't follow all the good advice given! Really appreciate the ideas!

Employers can recover statutory sick pay from HMRC
Not since 2014.

Some places of work have insurance for staff sickness. In schools it tends to kick in after two weeks. Maybe your husband being signed off for two weeks means that his pay is covered by this sort of insurance so there would be no financial loss to his place of work.
Cool! Insurance fraud.

It was three years ago Brownies

My daughter was premature, not massively so we made it out of hospital after 4 weeks!! It there were a few dad's on the ward with us who's babies were in hospital for weeks and weeks on end and they were signed off by a gp, maybe call your go surgery and explain your circumstances and see what they suggest?

I was signed off by my GP to care for my husband. Slightly different and more stressful circumstances, but it is done.

I have two colleagues who are off long term looking after sick relatives. Apparently there is a special code GPs use for this purpose and it causes no issues with employers (NHS and college sector).

Where I work, it would be paid leave first. So annual leave first - borrowing from next year if necessary, then TOIL, if that's in any way an option. Is working from home a possibility for some or all of the days? Could he go onto flexible working for a short time and work compressed hours, would that be any use?

We might also allow some compassionate leave, but probably only for a couple of days, in the circumstances.

Failing that, there's parental leave - as your children will need looked after while you are having surgery and recovering.

Could the grandparents ask for carer's leave to help, given that they still work?

(Clutching at straws!)

And yes, if it's all too much juggling, maybe your DH will have be signed off with stress after all!