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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go away 2.5 weeks before I'm due to give birth

51 replies

placecalledvertigo · 11/02/2020 14:06

DH and I have been invited to stay with my sister and her DH over the Easter weekend in April. We live in London and they're based on the edge of a town that's between 1.5 and 2 hours drive from us.

My BIL has offered to collect us from our house on the bank holiday Friday and drive us back to London on the Monday, as he'll be going that way anyway.

However, I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my first (due 30th April) and am wondering if it's a good idea to go away so close to the due date?

There is a hospital in my sister's town but I've never actually been there, and my sister/BIL have said they totally understand if I can't make it because of the pregnancy.

I probably sound really precious, but am new to this pregnancy lark and don't know how I'll be feeling by that stage or what's best!

Any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
placecalledvertigo · 11/02/2020 15:09

DH and I don’t drive so we’d be relying on BIL to get us there and back.

OP posts:
MidsomerBurgers · 11/02/2020 15:12

Does that hospital have all the facilities that a London hospital would have if something goes wrong

There's a whole world outside of London you know.

MyFuzzyBoy · 11/02/2020 15:12

I went away (300 miles away, within my home country) four weeks before my due date.
I returned home with a baby.

Durgasarrow · 11/02/2020 15:15

No, don't take the train home! You would definitely need a ride home. You wouldn't want to expose a newborn to all of those people.

amazedmummy · 11/02/2020 15:15

You could come back by car but you'd have to stop every 30 mins, also if for any reason you had to have a c-section the journey might be quite difficult for you too.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 11/02/2020 15:20

Have a look into the hospital and check it has a labour ward (not just a midwife led unit) just incase

mindutopia · 11/02/2020 15:31

If you wouldn’t mind giving birth in a local hospital or if you would be happy for BIL to drive you home in labour, sure. I had my first at 37 weeks and fairly swiftly. No way would I have wanted my waters breaking all over someone else’s carpet or being in an unfamiliar place personally.

That said honestly those will be the last few days you’ll have to relax just the two of you and sleep and just be grown ups together before your world gets turned upside down. The first weeks and months of having a baby are really hard, so I really appreciated those last quiet days together as a couple. I wouldn’t have wanted to be visiting family for the weekend.

1.5 hours or so by train though I might have considered doing for a day trip but not 4 days.

Dozer · 11/02/2020 15:36

I had anxiety during pregnancy but did occasional UK wide travel after that point with no problems or discomfort, was well physically with the pregnancy. I googled hospitals with special care baby units and took my notes. We then moved house and gave birth at a hospital in the new location I hadn’t visited or booked into, DC was a few weeks before due date, the staff didn’t bat an eyelid.

eurochick · 11/02/2020 15:46

Can't they come to you?

ShivD · 11/02/2020 15:50

I would and am at 37 weeks this time. My previous DC have also been born very close to 40 weeks though so I’m assuming this baby will follow suit. Will bring my notes and an infant car seat just in case Grin

strawberry2017 · 11/02/2020 16:19

I wouldn't, I Wokingham want to be so far from home if I gave birth unexpectedly.
I'm having a planned section in May and it's agreed at my hospital but would a random hospital I've never been too respect that if I went in to labour early?
Would I want to travel home after it for over 2 hours, I would rather be close to home recovering in my own bed then someone else's.
Baby may come early, baby may come late but I know I wouldn't chance it.

alphajuliet123 · 11/02/2020 16:25

Does that hospital have all the facilities that a London hospital would have if something goes wrong

Silliest comment ever.

OP of course you should go away. As others have said take your notes, bag and carseat just in case.

Caspianberg · 11/02/2020 16:29

I would. I am also 28 weeks now, with the exact same due date as you.

You can change your mind nearer the time anyway if you don't feel like it or baby has other plans.

The 30 mins in car seat is so people don't leave them in seat asleep or on pram as not good for airways. Its fine for the one-off to stay in a bit longer, with a parent sitting next to them keeping an eye open. For 1.5 hour journey home you would be fine to aim to just stop once after 45 ish mins.
FYI it will take us 50 mins to drive back from our nearest hospital in the nearest town to our house after baby born. There is no other option, many people don't have a hospital right on their doorstep.

SofiaAmes · 11/02/2020 16:31

I went to a convention in West London a few miles from the hospital on the day before my dd was due. I went into labor at the convention and almost gave birth in London traffic (with me driving) because it can take 2 hours to get from one part of West London to another part of West London. All of this is to say, things can go wrong no matter how close you stay to home. Go, have fun and bring your notes with you and have a plan for getting to hospital that doesn't involve you driving.

Elouera · 11/02/2020 16:33

@alphajuliet123- Whether the nearby hospital has certain facilities is a BIG consideration depending on the circumstances!!! Of course it matters! Why is that a silly comment alpha???

We start IVF next month, but would like to move near the seaside. My closest maternity unit there only take low risk pregnancies, which I wouldn't be. The next closest hospital is 40min drive away, and their neonat services are no where near as advanced (lower level baby unit) that where we currently live. Obviously you hope to need special care etc, but its a huge consideration whether we even move there or wait when/if we have a baby.

nachthexe · 11/02/2020 16:37

I did. 4.5 hour drive away. Knew where the hospital was. Took everything. Why not?
My waters broke at 6am on the morning we got home (4 days before EDD). He would just have been born somewhere else...

nachthexe · 11/02/2020 16:38

(He was vbac1) We would have been transferred if necessary. The hospital ‘away’ was actually 40 minutes closer than the hospital at ‘home’. Grin

mumonthehill · 11/02/2020 16:39

I went to my parents for Christmas 3 weeks before my due date, they were 3 hours away. I did not take my notes, my hospital bag or a car seat. It never crossed my mind I might give birth!!!! Luckily I did not.

OvalCanvas · 11/02/2020 17:06

See how you feel. You might feel comfortable , on the other hand you might just want to be at home with your bed and your things. I was an absolute grump by 38 weeks too , you might feel want to socialise though.

ittakes2 · 11/02/2020 17:08

It depends on how you feel about being in a car for two hours while in labour or giving birth at their local hospital. Do you really care for the agro? I was 4 weeks early and baby was in special unit while I was in special care. You never know.

thecatsthecats · 11/02/2020 17:19

My sister came on my hen do for the weekend at 38. 5 weeks. I appointed my less pregnant friend to be responsible for her/contacting my BIL in the event of anything happening, and my local friends provided a dossier for her of local options for childbirth.

We had a nap together mid afternoon, it was great.

Malbecfan · 11/02/2020 17:25

I played in a concert in the NW of England 2.5 weeks before my due date - I live in Devon. I stayed at my Dad's house. I took my notes, hospital bag & car seat. Dad had a routine appointment at the GP so I waited in the waiting room and the GP came out to see me. He used to be my doctor so knew me well. He just advised on which was the best hospital to go to, then joked that as he lived round the corner and Dad's next door neighbours were both doctors, I might be better off at Dad's house as I'd get more individual care.

DD arrived a week later, 5 days after I got home.

YicketyYackMamasBack · 11/02/2020 17:29

I don’t want to put a dampener on it. But I’ve just had my first baby and I started to develop pre eclampsia from 28 weeks. Then my placenta started really failing and needed weekly scans and regular monitoring until they could deliver, had steroids and was booked for c section at 33 weeks but ended up being monitored until 37 weeks then had her by c section.

My point being, you absolutely never know what will happen when. I wouldn’t stray too far, but that’s entirely down to personal experience.

Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy and congratulations! Flowers

Shayisgreat · 11/02/2020 17:31

I did it at 37 weeks. Went 4 hour drive away for a week. Brought my hospital bag and notes just in case. The journey was uncomfortable but apart from that it was grand. Baby came at 41 weeks.

altiara · 11/02/2020 17:42

Only you can make the decision but even so

  1. you don’t know when baby wants to arrive
  2. you don’t know how you’ll feel at 38 weeks and whether you want to travel in a car or not
  3. baby might have arrived by then

Personally I’d be tempted with staying home, yes you might feel fine but I wouldn’t want to muck up other people’s plans. Maybe that’s why mine were both late! They only arrive if you’ve got something in the diary Smile