Can’t motivate myself to eat healthily - IVF

[Pennylane22]

Hi all

Posting here for traffic.

Just wondering if anyone has any idea how to change mindset around eating ! I’m due to start another round of ivf soon but can’t seem to motivate myself to improve my diet.

I’ve given up caffeine and alcohol no problem since January and am taking supplements daily but I want to eat high protein low carb And cut out sugar but I can’t seem to do it!!!

For example today I had plain chicken breast and soup in with me for lunch. I was going to the canteen to heat it up and somehow ended up with a baked potato, baked beans, cheese and a caramel freddo.

I don’t know why I can’t motivate myself. I also wanted to lose a stone before this ivf - I’m not overweight for my height but I’m hovering a few pounds below it. I haven’t managed to even loose a pound since Jan.

It’s like I’m super motivated in the morning - get some kind of amnesia then feel bad and determined to start again the next day and then repeat all over again.

I don’t know why I’m like this when the potential success of a round of ivf / having a child is at stake!!!

Help!

Take your lunch in, leave your purse at home. Simply take away the temptation.

best of luck with the IVF

You didn't "somehow" end up with all those things though, you made a conscious choice to pick them up.

Next time you pick something up you shouldn't be eating, or even if it does "somehow" get onto your plate, ask yourself if you'd rather eat that piece of food, or if you'd rather have a baby. Ask yourself that every mealtime, every time you pick up a snack etc.

You're making the choice to eat these things so you need to make the choice to NOT eat them (as stupid as that sounds, it's your mindset that needs to change as you know).

You already know what your goal is so keep that uppermost in mind when eating. Soon it will become a habit and you'll find it's easier to choose the right food for you.

Good luck OP!

You're giving yourself a steep hill to climb by cutting out all carbs and sugar suddenly. Yes low carb will help to lose weight fast but it's not the only way to lose weight.
Have complex carbs such as brown rice and quinoa then you might not crave the bad ones. Reduce your portion sizes rather than cutting out food groups.
And as pp said , make yourself a decent lunch then leave your purse at home.

Have something juicy with your lunch such as grapes, pineapple or satsumas. If you start to lean towards chocolate eat the fruit. Have a very small wholemeal roll with soup so you don’t head towards bigger portion carbs. Replace all white bread with seeded or other breads as they help increase iron intake same as if you have pasta swap it for wholewheat. Rather than going cold turkey on carbs switch them for healthier ones and reduce portion size and increase vegetable portion

Have you been advised to reduce carbs by your clinic? Honestly your lunch doesn’t sound that unhealthy to me. Baked potatoes have a lot of fibre and vitamin C, baked beans have protein, cheese has calcium. A low carbohydrate diet doesn’t suit everyone. Maybe try to focus on what you can add into your diet to make it healthier (eg vegetables, wholegrains, unsaturated fat) rather than what you want to cut out.

Obviously if you’ve been advised otherwise by the HCPs looking after you then ignore me! Whatever you do go easy on yourself, IVF is tough enough as it is

Thanks all

@Lockheart you are right. I ‘know’ why I need to eat healthily I just need that to become embedded into my mindset.

@thisisgreyinthecity I haven’t been advised anything - more read high protein low cRb can help.

I’ve put on a stone since starting fertility treatment a year ago so I wanted to get rid of it as it’s well above my ‘normal’ weight. But I just can’t seem to find the motivation/mindset

To be honest OP I think you need to cut yourself some slack. You're not overweight. As long as your diet is healthy over a week I wouldn't worry about no carbs and no sugar. Just start to reduce it. If you're motivated in the morning eat a good breakfast and then if you've had a big lunch eat a smaller dinner. You've got a lot going on and I imagine it must be a stressful time. If you want a jacket potato and freddo have it and enjoy it!

You don’t really need to cut out carbs, in fact it can be detrimental to overall health (though I understand from an ivf perspective you might feel like it’d help - based on some evidence I guess?).

Why not say you’re going to reduce carbs rather than cut them out, if you want a jacket potato have one but don’t have bread or pasta for dinner. If you want toast then have it but choose protein and salad for lunch. Perhaps the mindset of “I can have it if I want” rather than it being totally banned might help you make better choices.

The only way to lose weight is to count your calories in and ensure it’s less than those out. What you actually eat within that sum is irrelevant- could be jacket potatoes morning noon and night as long as your calories are in a deficit.

Try logging your food for a few days and see where you could make small changes - the Lose It! app is really good for food tracking!

All the best with your ivf!

Fucking hell as if it isn't hard enough needing IVF due to infertility that you get lambasted for choosing the wrong thing to eat.

I totally get it OP, I'm currently on weight management at the IVF clinic awaiting my one and only round but am really struggling to get in the mindset also! I recommend myfitnesspal but you have to be brutally honest with yourself and log everything that passes your lips.

Best of luck! x

OP I'd recommend the Beck Diet Solution book x

Is there a reason low carb and no sugar needs to be done for IVF?

Your lunch from the canteen was hardly unhealthy it was jacket potatoes with beans and a freddo. It’s not an outrageous lunch

You’d be better off eating a bit of whatever you fancy but just keeping an eye on portion size.

Trying to have less carbs where you can, ie if you have toast for breakfast don’t have bread at lunch
Always add an extra veg to your dinner every night to help fill you up

Fucking hell as if it isn't hard enough needing IVF due to infertility that you get lambasted for choosing the wrong thing to eat.

She’s lambasting herself and people have given supportive helpful suggestions.

I hope your cycle goes well OP

Hi Op, tbh I’d cut yourself some slack

You’re going through IVF (and all that entails), have already given up alcohol and caffeine (as I did also) but tbh as long as your diet is relatively healthy then allow yourself to eat what you want/treats (within reason)

I’m not saying stuff yourself with cake every hour of every day but you’re already going through a stressful time. No point adding to the stress by dieting

It’s everyone’s choice and some people like to be able to control something that’s out of their control, but for me I just didn’t want to put any more pressure on myself so decided to allow myself whatever little joys I had at the time

Good luck!

that's what I had for lunch without the freddo. I'll probably have some chocolate later.

no food is 'unhealthy' - except commercial smoothies, diet foods, sugary breakfast bars and fizzy pop which aren't food anyway.

you can't cut out sugar, you can eat less refined sugar (see the list above) but that's all you need to do.

good luck with the IVF!

Plain chicken is a bit sad for lunch. Maybe you need a more tempting healthy option?

High protein/low carb is important in preparation for and during an IVF cycle as there is evidence that it increases egg quality and embryo development (high protein), and also protects the woman to some extent from developing OHSS (low carb).

Rather than trying to completely overhaul things all at once, maybe try to make small changes. Remember protein can be plant and dairy based, not just meat, and some carbs and sugar are okay. So no issue with having a chocolate bar but try to balance things with a protein centred meal. It can be helpful to think of having the carbs as the side element rather than central element of a meal - e.g. rather than having a bowl of pasta with sauce, have some chicken and vegetables in sauce, with a small amount of pasta on the side.

Best of luck.

Multiple cycles of IVF - trying all sorts of things. Unless you’ve been told to lose weight by the clinic before starting a cycle, it really matters not a jot what you eat or drink (clearly not excessive alcohol or drugs). I tried milk, pineapple, eating healthily etc etc. IVF is purely down to the luck of the draw, what drug combo works for you and the science bit ie chromosomes etc.

By the time it finally worked and DS was born, I was eating whatever I liked and that includes lots of crap.

IVF is an agonising roller coaster so don’t add beating yourself up because of what you did or didn’t eat to the mix.

I have had IVF and I think you are being too hard on yourself. You are taking vitamins - your lunch choice was healthy enough. Unless you have been told to loss weight you don't need to for IVF.

Another one here who has been through the process and honestly, it was the cycle where I thought ‘Fuck it’ and just ate what I wanted, had my cups of tea etc where I was successful. I really subscribe to the belief that feeling as happy as you can in day to day life (ie not eating a diet that for you is joyless) is the most important factor in surviving the process. With that said, if you are someone who will beat yourself up endlessly in the event the ivf fails and blame it (however irrationally) on lack of optimal diet then that is worth factoring in too. Hugs, because I know how soul destroying it all is and what a marathon it feels like.

Don't beat yourself up.
You've done fantastically cutting out alcohol and caffeine. Give yourself a break before thinking about the next step. And know that you have done the most important ones.

Do you think it might be a case of self sabotage because, TTC, infertility and IVF are all that bloody awful, that you need something else to blame if it doesn't happen this time? If you are beating yourself up over food, it distracts you from considering your bigger fear; not being able to do something different to make it work this time.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, I'm sorry you are going through this. I've had a slight run in with struggles getting pregnant and then mc in the past. I blamed myself because it gave me something to blame and was far easier to swallow than the 'it's just one of those things' fucking shitty trope. Be kind to yourself. You are allowed to find this tough. Chicken breast and Soup sounds like a crap lunch to be honest, no wonder you didn't want it. You know, deep down, that your weight is not why. Give yourself a break, enjoy your lunch and tiny bar of chocolate.

I used inositol/inofolic and found it made me generally less hungry and certainly craved sugar less. But yes cut yourself some slack. Do your best but look after yourself. Ivf is hard enough.

If I were you OP, I'd be more focused on eating healthily generally (more fruit and veg) than specifically losing weight.

I doubt a few pounds here or there when you're in the normal range will make any difference. Stressing about it is probably counter productive.

We are getting towards the end of winter, the weather is cold, so just from that point of view we are more likely to want something comforting like hot soup and bread. Add some stress to the mix and its not surprising you find yourself wanting to eat carbs.

There was a thread recently about how what we want to eat is linked to our mood that I found really useful. People explained that when we have low level stress and depression we comfort eat, high level stress, depression and anxiety we stop eating. Its actually helped me to monitor my mood.

So cut yourself some slack because its like quitting smoking; beating yourself up doesn't help.
And secondly, can you increase your exercise?