Relative travelling to Australia for 2 week holiday via Singapore

[potatochipsandcheese]

My mother, who I have limited/no contact with, is flying out to Australia via Singapore on the 14th February.

She is returning on the 10th March and wants to see my three children (2, 7 and 9) for a long weekend on the 13th.

I am nervous about this. I have no doubt, regardless of the information given, that they will travel unless expressedly told not to do so.

Its not so much the location as the fact we know Corona virus is spreading via the air, that it infects 3-4 people for every carrier and we are still unaware of how it is going to affect people in this country.

My immediate reaction was that they have no contact with her for 1 month after her return (this was before the WHO changed the quarantine time to 14-24 days but it seemed obvious for me, from the longetivity of the illness that was about right)

Theres two things;

1 - they dont need to see my mother, she and them can wait and, to be honest I dont see why I would put them in any amount of risk for something not worth it.

2 - I think I would just worry, I think I would be worried the whole time they were gone and the entire month after they returned. For me this seems a valid enough reason to remove the contact and reinstate it when we know sitting on a plane for 24 hours in recirculating air and flying into one of the epicentres of this illness is not going to cause a problem for my family.

To be honest I think shes irrational and beligerent for even choosing to still go, she is the sole carer of my 92 year old grandmother and is only supported by my aunt who has progressed COPD. To go on a trip you know full well may bring back an unknown virus that would easily kill both those people seems totally selfish. But I know her (and her husband) and I dont think any rational will make them change their plans.

AIBU to keep my children away from her until mid-June?

I'm confused- why mid June?
Why not April?

I can see your point, but I would hope that she has sought official advice on the basis of her caring responsibilities and has made the best judgement she can. If she is selfless enough to be a sole carer, this cannot have been a decision she could have taken lightly.

I’m assuming. However I don’t know her so can’t really judge!

I would tell her you will see her after whatever the suspected incubation period is at that time. By then we will have more knowledge about the virus. In honesty it doesn't matter if you are being reasonable or unreasonable in her eyes - it's your decision to make.

Although she may find herself quarantined on arrival or return - perhaps that thought might dissuade her from travelling?

I personally wouldn't do recreational international travel currently - it is making it much harder to control the spread of the virus. Holidays can wait.

Is she actually staying in Singapore in either direction?

I'm guessing that even she were inclined to cancel she couldn't because her insurance would not pay out. Nobody has warned against travel to Australia.

If she is merely getting off the plane while it refuels, you are being U.

If she is staying over in Singapore, perhaps less so. But what would your reaction be if she were eg going to Brighton?

June sounds a bit a lot extreme. Can't you just say you're busy in March so can you arrange after Easter and that gives you quite a lot of time?

If she's a carer she's entitled to a holiday. It's not selfish to go away.

There are currently 45 people in Singapore out of a population of over 5 million with Coronavirus.

The chances of catching it due to spending a few hours in a heavily air conditioned airport terminal must be remote in the extreme, so assuming that there hasn't been a significant increase in cases, or change in advice in the next few weeks, you are probably worrying over an infinitessimally tiny risk.

She decided to go to oz long before any of this was a problem.

I very much doubt her husband will he looking at this as anything but something he is going to and that’s that.

I very much doubt they will even have considered caring duties or knock on effects.

After all, it’s ‘no worse than the flu’ according to the media 🙄

She lives in Brighton

It’s not so much the area as the international travel that concerns me. From what I’ve seen about this virus, it’s airborne and therefore the biggest risk is on the plane/at airports

By mid March it’s very possible that stopovers in Singapore May have been diverted elsewhere. Are they staying airside or entering the country?

It’s also very possible that we will have a full scale outbreak here in the UK.

It’s very telling that you don’t see your own mother. So YANBU to say she can’t see your DC for 14 days after her return. (Although apparently children aren’t badly affected in the information known so far).

As to her going at all, that’s her decision. Presumably a long awaited and planned trip that’s cost a lot of money and a LOT of planning? No compensation from insurance if she doesn’t go? I probably wouldn’t cancel in her shoes but I might quarantine myself from my DM in this situation.

Following the official guidelines seems most sensible just now.

Where did you get mid June from?

I may have missed April in my mental calculation

She lived in Australia and decided to stay here to look after her mother for a few months/years - I’m not too sure, she’s quite elusive and we don’t generally know things until she’s on route.

But she had to us this trip by February as she couldn’t delay he return flight home (thst she never too to go back to oz) any further.

It’s not really taken any planning as she just knows people there already and has a house etc

I am flying to Australia in 2 weeks time for a month-long holiday - via Singapore. I am not leaving Singapore airport - just changing planes. Is it a concern? Mildy. will it stop me travelling? Not yet.

1. So far there is no advice NOT to travel
2. Singapore has pretty good infrastructure and I'm sure they are checking passengers arriving from all destinations
3. Australia - see 2)
4. For her return flight - see 2 & 3
5. Hopefully, she's well-traveled and informed and knows what she needs to do to should she feel unwell
6. If she's a carer she is allowed a break

So you're mother is the sole carer of an elderly relative, yet she's selfish for wanting a holiday
Sorry, but I think you're overthinking the whole thing way too much. Life's too short for that level of worry and control.

your mother

She's more likely to catch it in Brighton I'd have thought

I’m not suggesting she shouldn’t have a break. I am in very limited contact with her (we just arrange visits with the kids)

I am concerned about my children being around someone who has recently travelled internationally. Airports/planes I think are the worse places to spread this. At 3-4 infection rate, you’d only need one person on a plane of people to cause real problems

YANBU. I would tell her that she needs to wait.

I think if you had a close relationship with your mother, you wouldn’t even be asking this question.

Just do what you want to do.

@thestoic

Tbh I think I would. Simply because this virus terrifies me.

We are also having DS1 tested for asthma

I'd be more worried about the fact she lives in Brighton at the moment, as that's where the UK cases are concentrated.

But anyone could give your dc a bad cold that would affect asthma.

@cologne

She’s on the outskirts of brighton so low risk of her being in crowded places there. It’s the dynamics of travel, recirculating air and stop overs in countries that may or may not be being honest about infection control that worries me

Sorry but by that point your DC will have come into contact with hundreds of people who have travelled through airports....

You are being irrational. But if you don’t want them to see her you don’t have to make any excuses. Just say no that doesn’t work for us.

Will they? We live in a rural place, very little outside travel, they’re not cared for by anyone but us...

I think putting them in a house with someone who he knowingly spent 48+ hours in an international airport/on a plane is more of a risk

I’m asking, btw because I do really dislike my mother, so if I’m actually BU I should bear that in mind

I think it is going to be difficult if you want to isolate your DC’s from anyone who has been at an airport and travelled internationally. Half term is next week, their school friends may be off on holiday and then returning to the UK.

There is a slight risk that their school friends will be travelling internationally for the holidays but I seriously doubt it. Their school is very small.

It’s whether I want to knowingly place them in the close care of someone going abroad a few days after her return that I’m questioning