Snoring

[elc19]

So for the past 2 weeks - since my miscarriage and D&C I have snores terribly according to DH. I had a cold which went before surgery and now he has it along with a cough.

I've never snored before but I'm on sleeping tablets, mirtazapine at night (added antidepressant to my citalopram) and propanalol to help me through this difficult time whilst signed off work as I can't sleep and my anxiety is terrible, it's the only reason I can think of that's making me snore. I'm obviously in such a deep sleep from the meds.

I offered to sleep on the sofa for a while, our sofa is very comfy and it's warm downstairs but he declined and said he would as he often stays up later than me anyway and watches TV, he sleeps on the sofa probably 1-2 times a week anyway after fallling asleep watching tv.

Last night I got into bed at 8pm feeling run down, DH went to the gym and I was asleep by 9 after reading.

DH obviously came in and came to bed, about 3am I woke up to him shouting "FOR FUCKS SAKE" because I'd woken him snoring again, apparently he'd asked me 3 times to turn on my side or pull my extra pillow down under my head and although I'd done this I don't remember as I was so fast asleep.

It scared me him shouting and I woke up immediately, he left the bedroom slamming the door.

I know this isn't an easy time for us, we've lost baby number 8, we've both been poorly with colds and coughs but he's never been like this, he's so caring and loving and never raises his voice at me.

He came in the bedroom at 6am to get clean boxers, work T-shirt and work trousers and left.

I feel really upset this morning, he tells me every morning that I've been snoring the night before if he stays in the bed which I apologise for but it's not my fault.

I feel really upset this morning, I'm not doing too good emotionally anyway but to wake me up sweating and shouting really made me jump and isn't the man I know.

Should I address this or put it down to lack of sleep/both of us being ill/both of us grieving/me being a bit sensitive due to recent events?

Also any tips on snoring, DH snores and I always just gently push him onto his side or ask him quietly to move positions and I sleep through it most of the time. I've tried the throat spray and apparently it didn't work.

So sorry for your loss.

I have the same problem with my partner , both of us snore and can be irrationally irritating particularly when sleep deprivation is involved and your both grieving.

My partner and I bought a nice bed for the spare room and take it in turns to sleep in there especially when one of us is ill .

Could you possibly do that or insist to sleep on the sofa so he gets a night of unbroken sleep in the bed? No excuse for him swearing at you but as you say he never usually raises his voice, it sounds like grief could be coming through

Thanks @tearsandtiaras

We currently have my BIL and his girlfriend live with us until next January so they have our spare room so that's not an option.

I just feel really guilty as he works 12-15 hour days so I know he's tired and obviously grieving too. I just don't know what to do x

Also if he's telling you every night you are snoring and his sleep is broken he is sleep deprived from broken sleep. Its completely not your fault for snoring but that shouldn't mean he doesn't deserve a night of unbroken sleep in his bed

Maybe insist you take the sofa but his compromise is that he doesn't have the tv on late

I completely agree @tearsandtiaras that's why I offer to stay on the sofa but he refuses to let me.

I think I'll just insist he stays in bed tonight and I'll have the sofa. We have a TV with freeview in the bedroom, not quite sky/Netflix but for a couple of nights if he wants unbroken sleep he'll have to put up with that.

You offered to sleep on the sofa because you snore.

He said no.

You went to bed and snored. He shouted.

Sleep on the sofa for now and dont let him tell you no again.

Thanks @Iamnow I will do that.

Our sofa is lovely and comfy and like I said our living room is warm and we have a thick throw/blanket so I'll take a pillow down with me tonight and let him get some sleep as the grieving is making us snappy with each other anyway, I don't want this to be the cause of an unnecessary argument.

Oh you poor thing, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Have you or your husband tried some really good earplugs? I bought some in Boots for about £6/£7 and they were really effective at cutting out some ear shattering snoring when I was staying with a friend.

@Nannewnannew thank you for the suggestion! Trouble is we are both terrible at sleeping through alarms, we both have to set 2 each and timers too because we are heavy sleepers so I don't know if it would work for us x

I've text and apologised and insisted I sleep downstairs tonight so hopefully with a good night sleep he's back to his usual lovely self x

I hope YOU get a good night's sleep too. Some meds can cause muscle relaxation and therefore snoring.
Although horribly annoying, snoring is never something someone sets out to do.
I'm a terrible snorer and now have a CPAP which has cured it. I don't know if there's a fix like this for you but I do feel for you.

Thank you @SucculentCandle I think it's just the meds and the sleeping tablets, also the new antidepressants are a muscle relaxant too that's why I've been directed to take at night.

My dad has a CPap machine for sleep apnoea.

I've never snored before ever apart from when I have a cold and have been sharing a bed with DH for 10 years nearly!

I was prescribed trazodone to sleep (I didn't tell my doctor at the time I also snores that's what she prescribed). I later found out that they are a relaxant and really not good for snorers (always tell your GP everything!)

So sorry for your loss it must be such an awful time for you both xx

Thank you @TreadLightly3 x