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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel in the minority for not drinking alcohol.

24 replies

ADJ1151 · 10/02/2020 20:34

Was never much of a drinker. Nearly really liked the taste of the effect or the money spent. Of course I would never judge anyone else for drinking. But it was never really for me.

Not drank at all since I was about 20/21 so around 7 years. Not really missed it.

Get questioned all the time why I don’t drink and get fed up of explaining but I’m used to it.

But today, I visited my doctor due to high blood pressure. She was asking about my health whether I smoke (don’t smoke) or drink etc etc and I told her I didn’t drink at all. She started questioning me why I didn’t drink and there if there was a reason not to?

Aibu to think this was a weird question for a doctor to ask?

I have two DC. We don’t ever get chance to go out. Never been at home drinker and by the time the kids are asleep I’m ready for bed myself.

OP posts:

Chasingsquirrels · 10/02/2020 20:39

Well you (and I, so no judgement) are in a minority - albeit an increasing one, I think the stats are about 20% of UK adults don't drink now.

Doctor's questions might be looking for underlying issues or connections to the blood pressure investigations.

Original poster

ADJ1151 · 10/02/2020 20:44

Thank you. It just seemed odd. She asked if drank and questioned why I didn’t.

I wonder sometimes if a drink will help relax me therefore might reduce my stress levels causing high bp.

OP posts:

FATEdestiny · 10/02/2020 20:47

Doctor might be fishing in case you have previously had alcohol issues that made you stop. Could have been linked to your health issues.

I'm not tee total, but very rarely drink (maybe 5 units in a year, just special occasions). I don't dislike drinking alcohol, I just don't see the point of it.

I often feel in the minority. My Facebook feed is often full of gin drinkers or wine glasses. Waste of money and calories on my opinion. I'd rather have chocolate and good quality coffee.

MintySpud · 10/02/2020 20:48

Not where I live. Many or most of the other school mums here are Muslim and if the topic comes up they say they don't drink. I bought cognac off a fella in Tesco a couple of days ago, who made quite a song and dance about not locating the bottle, as he didn't drink. The bus driver also told me he didn't drink when I asked him about the booze in the country where he had holidayed.

So you weirdo teetotal killjoys are legion, I'd say.

Chasingsquirrels · 10/02/2020 20:48

You could have asked the relevance.
I've something in the back of my mind about small quantities of red wine - but can't remember what it was meant to be good for!
Overall though I'm sure that the health benefits of not drinking would be better for you.

Tinderingalong · 10/02/2020 20:48

Because you might have said you used to be an alcoholic.

theemmadilemma · 10/02/2020 21:22

I presume it was a simple, 'is there reason why not'. It could be something relevant even if you think it isn't.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 10/02/2020 21:36

It could have been any reason people wouldn't think is important.
"It doesn't sit well with me and i end up ill after couple of glasses" or "A glass makes me feel dizzy so no". Neither are standard reactions and can be indicative of underlying issues. Or as pp said. Previous issues with alcohol.

puds11 · 10/02/2020 21:37

She’d have asked in case you were a recovering alcoholic. Your thinking far to much into it.

userxx · 10/02/2020 21:45

To make sure you're not a recovering alcoholic. Not really an odd thing to ask.

Original poster

ADJ1151 · 10/02/2020 21:46

Thank you. Good point @puds11. It may of been the way I answered her now I’ve thought about. I told her I’d been t-total for 7 years (I only know it’s 7 years because I haven’t drank since the night I met my partner funnily enough). The way I said it she may have thought I had a problem previously - which I didn’t.

Thanks all.

OP posts:

mineofuselessinformation · 10/02/2020 21:50

I have enamel loss all around my gum line, and every time I see a new dentist, they ask questions aimed at finding out whether or not I used to be bulimic (which is a major cause). I wasn't by the way, and can only think it was the large amounts of orange juice I drank in pregnancy that is the cause!
You're not alone in being asked 'odd questions', OP.

Elouera · 10/02/2020 21:54

OP- exactly what you said! If someone had said that they are NOW tee-total, I'd automatically assume they once had an alcohol issue, but have stopped now.

90% of my friends/family drink. A few for religious reasons dont, and one stopped years ago to support her husband who was alcoholic. Neither him or her drink at all now, although she never had an issue with it anyways.

Babdoc · 10/02/2020 21:56

You’re actually very fashionable, OP! The young generation drink a lot less than we did. Some universities are closing bars in their student union buildings and converting them to coffee shops and cafes, because the students don’t drink.
I think it’s probably due to a variety of causes - an increase in Muslims and Buddhists, who eschew alcohol, and a trend for healthy living, with kale smoothies replacing pints of lager!
As a doctor, I’m all in favour. The trend was worryingly in the opposite direction a few years ago, and we were seeing serious alcoholic liver disease in patients just in their thirties - our current youngsters should be spared that.

Elouera · 10/02/2020 21:59

I meant to add, that my mother has had fatty liver come up several times on her blood tests. I've known her to drink a toast at my wedding, and my brothers and that is literally it. She gets asked everytime her bloods come back abnormal though whether she drinks, how much, when did she stop etc. Its not that Dr's/medical professionals are trying to catch people out. In my mums case, her fatty liver isn't from alcohol, so other test might be needed to find the cause and might mean other medical conditions.

Sparklesocks · 10/02/2020 22:01

I do agree there is a big drinking culture in the UK, a lot of socialising etc involves drinking. However I think more and more people are choosing not to drink for a variety of reasons, there a lot more alcohol free beers etc on the market and there definitely seems to be a shift.

LouisaJenny · 10/02/2020 22:02

Hi OP.

I’m teetotal also. Have been for a similar amount of time as you, and mostly for the same reasons.

I’m constantly asked the question of why, and do sometimes have some fun with my answers to see the reactions. However, I’d assume a doctor would ask you to see if there is any backstory or things to note. I’ve been asked too by doctors.

Sammy867 · 10/02/2020 22:06

Last time I drank alcohol was around 14 years ago (I am currently 32). Like you I was never a big drinker so I never really felt the need to waste money on it. I do feel people think I’m odd, especially as I don’t drink tea or coffee either as I never really acquired a taste for it so it’s water, juice or a soft drink as a treat.
Although at university there weren’t as many big drinkers as you are led to believe as everyone was too busy either working to fund university or studying.

Lipperfromchipper · 10/02/2020 22:06

The reason the doctor asked is to establish whether you are an alcoholic in recovery OP. If you were/are then they tailor they’re medical approach, be a if you are an alcoholic then that means you can have addictive behaviours/tendencies and the doctor would avoid opiates for example or any medications that you could become addicted to.

That being said...I don’t drink either! Not because I’m an alcoholic, simply because I hate the taste of the stuff! 🤮

formerbabe · 10/02/2020 22:21

I'm not tee total, but very rarely drink (maybe 5 units in a year, just special occasions). I don't dislike drinking alcohol, I just don't see the point of it.

I'm exactly the same!

I often feel in the minority. My Facebook feed is often full of gin drinkers or wine glasses. Waste of money and calories on my opinion. I'd rather have chocolate and good quality coffee

Yes, give me chocolate over wine any day!

I also can't believe how much people spend on alcohol. Seems like such a waste to me. I feel like I have to justify myself all the time. I also think there's lots of functioning alcoholics around who are in absolute denial.

DrivingMsCrazy · 10/02/2020 22:26

Yep it's just to check if you have a history of any problems with alcohol as that may influence their treatment choices for you in the future. It's not judgemental or encouraging you to have a drink at all - I can assure you most health professionals would love the UK to drink a lot less!

formerbabe · 10/02/2020 22:33

Well this has made me stressed...I don't really drink but now if I tell a doctor that, does this mean I'm now going to be eyed with suspicion? Blimey you can't win can you?!

2020vision10 · 10/02/2020 23:22

I'm not a fan of alcohol and rarely drink... I find people who need to drink to have fun or relax rather boring. Drunk people are annoying too. Most people I know drink regularly so I'm definitely in the minority there.

VioletTurner · 12/02/2020 16:06

Perhaps the GP was looking for a reason why you don't as a possible symptom? My friend can't drink too much because she comes out in a terrible rash all over her face, neck and chest!

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