NC as potentially outing
Partner came in from work today at the very end of his tether. This situation with his sister and her partner has been going on for years now and I feel like it's reached boiling point; I am desperate to help, but feel powerless.
I'll try to keep it short, but the catalogue of abusive and coercive control here is longer than my arm.
They've been together 15 years, no children. During that time she suffered MH breakdown after being forced out of her job and losing tribunal. He then tried to kick her out of the house and told her to go back to parents. Since then she started her own business (my partner, and both her parents work there).
She had been very ill with pneumonia and hospitalised. She is now off work, and HE keeps coming in and causing trouble. He has form for volatile behaviour and SIL is always walking on eggshells around him. He throws tantrums like a toddler and deliberately tries to sabotage the business as he cannot stand her being successful, yet won't support her financially (man is loaded).
SO yes. Today he came in, got angry, pushed my 70yo MIL out of his way (ASSAULT!), then squared up to my elderly disabled FIL. MIL refuses to press charges as it would 'hinder SILs recovery'.
Further instances of abusive behaviour:
- Making derogatory remarks about SILs weight in front of customers and family (fat, disgusting)
- Broke my partner's bike helmet and bike in fit of rage
- Bought a gold bracelet for SIL, allowed her to wear it once, now she is no longer allowed to take it out of the house (it wasn't a gift then, but an investment, but he tried to make it look like a gift)
- Obsessive about money. Will not have heating on, SIL's clothes went mouldy inside the wardrobe as it's so damp in there. Has to wear a coat inside as no heating (this is up North, on a hill area so very cold), but keeps a nice heater for himself in his workshop
- Not allowed to use washing machine
- When SIL uses hairdryer he will stand by the meter and work out how many pennies she owes him
- Almost talked SIL into throwing her parents out of the house she owns and they live in
- We suspect she isn't paying herself a wage and he takes all the money
- Took armchair from her and she now only has a stool to sit on at home.
- Petty sabotage of her business. Talks her into not employing enough staff, hides signs, rearranges or hides things so they can't be found and sold
- We suspect she's limited on amount of showers she can have
- Pathological liar
- Chaperoning her and looking over her shoulder when doing banking etc
- Obsessively watching staff on CCTV
She is visibly frightened and deferential to him.
She has severe depression, drink problem, chain smokes.
She needs out, and we don't know how to drag her out of this.
Please help.