It would be good to hear other people's views about my situation and how they might feel/act in my place. For years I have longed to move house to somewhere detached, in a quieter location and to a property with a private, sunny garden. The house we currently live in doesn't have these features but was convenient for schools and work etc so we stayed. Our kids are all grown now and we are retired, so in theory there is no reason not to start looking on Right move! However, the problem is that we live close by to my FIL, (same road, opposite) who is now elderly and needs keeping an eye on each day, mostly to provide a bit of company but sometimes to give some practical input. If we were to move further away from him it wouldn't be so easy to give that support, or to be immediately on hand if he took a tumble (has been known!). I feel that I want to give that help and support because he and my late MIL did a lot of babysitting for us, thus reducing our childcare costs, and it seems only fair to recognize and repay that family help now that he needs it. BUT, I feel so fed up and effectively trapped in our current house notwithstanding that I can see the benefits of being close by and being willing to help him. FIL spends a lot of time looking out of his window and I feel like my every move is monitored. He can see us coming and going and it feels a bit like watched, and living in a goldfish bowl! He comes for meals several times a week (which I don't mind) but am I being unreasonable in perhaps wanting to put my own/our needs first and think seriously about moving? However, I'm not sure DH and I would feel comfortable moving and leaving him on his own, and I think it would be too much to have him live with us so we maintain the status quo. I feel conflicted because want to give the best help I can, but at the same time frustrated that another summer's going to be spent in our noisy un-sunny garden surround by a busy road and neighbours. WWYD? How do you know when it's time to put your own needs first without being disloyal and selfish?