Christening

[melissa1215]

I'm christened catholic, DH was catholic too (but apparently he didn't know this until I asked his mum - weird) - neither of us are religious at all.

I would like to have our DS christened, partly so he can go to a good catholic school like I did.

DH is deeply against this, has a rant any time I mention it and a firm NO. He won't listen to my reasons. All our family and friends agree that getting the baby christened would be in his best interests. However, DH won't even consider it.

Now, I'd never do anything against DH's wishes but I feel like he's being unreasonable.

The local schools are the same ones that DH attended and he hated them, said they were awful and the ofsted reports back this up.

There are really good catholic schools local, but DH says he doesn't want our sons mind poisoned.

I can't seem to get my point across because he literally shuts the conversation down.

We did discuss this before we got pregnant, but we were having IVF and had a lot on our plate so i didn't fully realise how dismissive he was being, i I put it to the back of my mind.

Any advice?

TIA

I don’t think it’s hypocritical to want to have your baby christened, even if you don’t go to church, or believe the whole religious whammy. These things are as much about gathering family together as any religious ritual.

You honestly don't think it's hypocritical to stand in front of a congregation in church, having a vicar perform baptism rites and promise to bring a child up in the faith...if you don't believe in the "whole religious whammy"?

You need to either decide that your family is going to be Catholic, or, as you husband says, go to a non religious school. If they're all bad in your area you need to move - apart from anything else, if they're all that bad, then the Catholic school will be over subscribed and will be doing checks to prioritise active members of the church - i.e. not you.

But basically this.

YABVU. I'm with your DH. You're either catholic or you're not. I'm an atheist but I feel it's disrespectful to Catholicism to pretend to believe it for your own purposes.

Do you practice the religion and attend church?

Yabu.

What is the point of christening a child if neither of you are even religious? How is that even morally right? I’m with him. My husband was christened and raised Catholic. He was an altar boy and everything. Ffwrd. He hasn’t been to church unless for a christening or a funeral. We’ve been together for a decade. I went with his parents to church the first time I visited them as a sign of respect and I’m not religious myself while he did something else. We discussed this before we became engaged. I told him I wasn’t comfortable pledging a child for something they have no knowledge or understanding of nor of something I myself wouldn’t live by and he agreed. No one has said anything else other than his mum about it since we had our boys and husband shut her down about it (hadn’t known this until he mentioned it after our second was born). None of her business or concern.

Let your son decide when he's old enough.

I'm with your husband, do not let them get the poor little mite, if he wants to be religious, let him chose when he is an adult.

I'm with your DH, I'm afraid.

As a Christian I agree with the gist of what most have said on here. However, I’m sure there are many many parents who would reason as you do, and am surprised that none of them have come on here to back you up.

Maybe you (singular) should contact your local priest and meet with him to discuss what baptism means. If nothing else, it might help you appreciate your DH’s position more.

I am with your DH. I would never christen any of my children. If they want to join a faith when they are old enough to know their own minds, fair enough. I hate thr indoctrination of children

Agree with PPs - a christening should be seen as what it is: a religious ceremony and a path to Christianity, not a school entrance pathway.