To think revenge is worth it?

[DracarysThis]

Supposedly before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves but having been stitched up by a work colleague, my thoughts turn to revenge and I think "bring me the shovel."

Did you ever swear revenge for something, and get it? Was it worth it? I find I've become hot headed as I age, despite hoping I would calm down. In my case, I imagine possibilities, each an endless assortment of humiliations, but better yet would be getting the fucker sacked.

Depends on the situation really. I haven't personally taken revenge on anyone though I don't disagree entirely with the principle. In my case, the risk (blowback to myself) and the time taken for revenge always has outweighed the enjoyment I would get out of it. Most of the time, I feel its better for your MH / career / etc to just walk away.

However, there are some circumstances where I could see myself going for it.

Sometimes I think.its more damaging mentally to be the "bigger person" and let things go!
The eating up and being unable to let go of whatvis a wronged you can be very damaging.
Sometimes, not every time, revenge very much is a remedy and justice to yourself and anguish/pain over who wronged you in the first place.

@BananaLeafLady - if you are able to truly let go of something, its much better. When something is eating you up, it means you haven't let it go. Counseling can help with this. I agree that sometimes revenge may make you feel better in the short term, but (depending what you had to do) the guilt can then start to eat at you as well as the residual anger and bitterness.

You have to be a certain kind of person for revenge to work (longterm).

If:
-you’ve done your very best to resolve the issue every other way
-you need justice involved in order to let it go forever
-you know how to keep your mouth shut forever about what you did
-you are sure your revenge will help other people down the track
-you are cool-headed, and have some strategy skillz
-you’ve got a great alibi
-the punishment fits the crime, and won’t hurt innocent folk

then go for it. I am that kind of person. I don’t deploy those skillz lightly, or often. I’d never do it while angry, sad or tipsy. But when I have been seriously pushed, it has been wholly satisfying and successful in every way. No blowback- spiritual or otherwise. Just tipping the scales of life back towards decency and fairness a little, then walking away whistling.

The thing about arseholes is, they are really good at digging their own holes. Just distract them long enough for them to fall into one, and then nonchalantly back-fill it with the manure they so readily dish out to others.

If you can’t do revenge carefully or properly, just get counselling instead, and leave it to karma (or me)

Is revenge worth it?

Oooohhhh yes. It most certainly is

Its not revenge in a lot of cases, but showing others what the person is up to so they can't continue to get away with shitty behaviour. Why should they be left to continue messing with other ppl just because they have a superior attitude?

I've moved on with my life without 'taking revenge' on a stone cold bitch, but believe me, I'd love to hear she'd got her just desserts handed to her somehow! And that's not because I've not moved on from it, it's because she deserves it.

I am so sorry ParkheadParadise I can't imagine your feelings of loss and anger but want to send a stranger's love however inadequate.

I am glad you were able to protect your dd2.

I have experienced the dread of seeing someone in a locality (after DV) and hearing of their death (also drug overdose) at least enabled my mind to fight back and I'm regaining confidence in areas I avoided for a long time.

I really hope you are experiencing some relief as you gradually process knowledge of this individual's death.

It might sound pathetic but did your DD1 have any favourite flowers? I hope you are now finding ways to cherish your memories of her that focus only on her and your love for her and are not dominated by the evil actions of her killer. I'm sure you must think of her every day.

Please excuse my clumsiness 🌳

I didn't get the opportunity but it seems the revenge gods are doing a stellar job on my behalf.

No I have never felt that I needed revenge. If I did that I would be as bad as the person who had hurt me!

Something close to it maybe, for a very short while, but not in my nature to let it fester.

I used to think so, but I have been in two situations where a lot of people wanted to take revenge on my behalf and in the end I didn't let them. Not because I think the people didn't deserve it or any great sense of moral righteousness but rather I felt such a strong desire to move forwards and get over/through the situations, that I just didn't want to be involved in anything that would keep my headspace linked to the incident.

I had a very abusive childhood, my revenge is that now I have an amazing life, husband and child and my "parent" has no idea as I cut them out totally at 18.

They have missed out on so much good in mine and my daughter's life so I view that as their karma.

Yep do it.

Scrump, I always think that’s the best kind of ‘revenge’: living a happy and productive life in spite of someone’s wrongs against you.

“Wow. How big of that person to take the moral high ground after what I did to him/her. He/she really showed me! I’ve learned a valuable lesson here.”

Said no bullying asshole who deserves retribution ever.

People like that aren’t impressed when their victims don’t stand up for themselves. All they know is that they got away with their bad behavior. Facing zero consequences means they are free to go out and do it again. And again. And again. And again . . .

In agreement with Nitpickpicnic and ElizabethMountbatten. It has to be done right.